Coming Home, A Kingdom Hearts Fanfiction

This was the first time in a long time that they had all wound up in the same place. In the same world. Under the same sky.

Kairi lay between them, the ocean roaring beneath them, breaking against the wooden dock. Destiny Islands hadn’t been the same without them. Kairi had tried to make a home for herself in their absence, but she had felt lost. But right now, laying between them, she felt a peace settle over her and knew this was what coming home felt like. What it felt like to truly be home.

None of them spoke, listening to the sound of the ocean, the calming roar of the waves as they curled and broke on the water’s surface, crashing into the shore.

The silence between them was heavy with unanswered questions and unspoken tales of their adventures. These were things they weren’t ready to share, not yet. Instead they were content to just be there, fingers entwined with hers, their eyes closed, hearts open.

Sora was the first to move, emboldened by his adventures, he propped himself up on his elbow. While Riku lay still, his own (mistakes) adventures had left him shy, silent, secretive.

Kairi tilted her head just so, taking in the sight of Sora moving closer to her. He watched her, eyes locked. Her lips twitched upwards in a soft smile that was almost expectant . It had been too long . Sora sighed, sounding so content .

He leaned forward then, and Kairi’s eyes fluttered, mouth watering. Sora chuckled softly at her, untangling his fingers from hers and letting his hand glide featherlight over her stomach. Kairi took in a sharp breath, goosebumps prickling on her skin where he touched her.

Sora moved his hand further, finding where her fingers met Riku’s and pulled them apart. Neither of them protested, watching in silence as Sora laced their fingers together. Riku turned, rolling his whole body over onto it’s side. His head was tilted to the side, long silver hair falling into his face.

Sora smirked, moving himself to sit up better, moving his arm from beneath him and pushing Riku’s hair out of his face, behind his ear. They both glanced down at Kairi then. Her breathing was faster, face flushed as she waited.

Then, without uttering a single word, Sora placed his hand back down to steady himself, and leaned across her to capture Riku’s lips with his own.

They kissed soft and slow, lips meeting again and again as if they were made to fit together. Every time their mouths met, lips moving together, felt like an unspoken promise.

I love you , it said in every tilt of Riku’s head, every gasp from Sora’s lips, every time they moved just a little bit closer.

But it wasn’t enough, they still had so much more to say and to give to one another. To her.

Their hands parted, finding hers again. They held onto her like she was the only thing keeping them from floating away. She held them back, her hands stroking up and down their arms, eyes locked on where their lips were joined.

She felt her stomach flip with excitement and anticipation, her heart racing. She bit her tongue to hide a moan, not ready to let them know just how much this was affecting her.

Riku was first to pull away, panting. He looked properly kissed, lips swollen, hair mussed and falling over his face again. His cheeks were flushed, pupils dilated. He turned his gaze down at Kairi.

Sora was first again, moving away from Riku and pressing his lips to her throat, his tongue pressing against her pulse point. He trailed his tongue along her skin, from her pulse to her jaw, to her ear. She shivered beneath him, gasping when he sucked her earlobe into his mouth. He ran his teeth along the sensitive flesh, coaxing a soft moan from her lips.

Sora locked eyes with Riku, a silent challenge passing between them.

Then Riku descended on her as well. His mouth found her jaw, peppering kisses across her jaw line, then along her cheek to the corner of her eye.

Kairi gasped and giggled, the sensation of both of them pressing kisses to her skin was overwhelming. But she knew it was just the beginning.

Riku’s hand parted from hers to her waist, pushing up the hem of her soft cotton shirt to reveal her navel. Kairi’s breaths came in short pants now, his touch leaving fire in it’s wake. He let the fabric of her shirt settle just beneath her breasts, moving his hand up farther between them, over her collarbone, to rest on her throat.

He could feel her erratic pulse beneath his fingertips, if the smirk forming on his lips was any indication. Kairi’s face flushed a deeper shade of red.

He used two fingers to tilt her head towards him, his hand moving to caress her neck. Kairi raised her own hand up unconsciously, brushing the back of Riku’s hand.

Sora watched the two of them in silence, his gaze sharp and curious.

Riku leaned down then, his gaze locked on Sora’s. Kairi watched them both, the heat and despite that passed between them made her squirm.

Riku kissed her and her eyes fluttered closed. She felt warmth pooling between her legs and she moaned, long and low, into Riku’s mouth, He chuckled, never once moving his lips from hers.

Sora let out a breath, and Kairi could hear him moving next to her. She could feel the fabric of the blanket they had laid out beneath them, stretching and tugging as he resituated. He was driving her to distraction, wondering what he was planning to do.

Riku pressed his thumb into the center of her throat, bringing her attention back to him. She hummed against his mouth in apology, moving her hand away from where his rested on her throat to run her fingers through his hair.

Then she found out why Sora had moved.

He pressed his mouth to her stomach, peppering open mouthed kisses over her skin. Kairi whimpered in surprise, jerking at the sudden feeling of him kissing her there. Sora and Riku laughed at the same time, Sora pressing his hand against her diaphragm to hold her still. Then he descended on her again, nipping at her flesh and causing her to gasp and jerk again. But this time he had a handle on her, pressing her down flat against the dock.

She moaned, breaking her lips away from Riku’s to tilt her head back. Riku growled in frustration, pulling her mouth back to his for another kiss. Kairi couldn’t focus on kissing him back, Sora’s tongue tracing circles around her navel.

She was gasping and panting, pressing her thighs together hard to gain some relief. She pulled at Riku’s hair, ignoring his sharp intake of breath. Her body already knew what was coming next and it wanted it desperately. But knowing Sora and Riku they were going to take their time.

She pulled Riku’s hair again when Sora moved lower, letting his tongue dip beneath the waistband of her shorts.

Riku groaned, dipping his head and biting her throat, hard in warning. She moaned at the feeling of his teeth biting into her flesh and bucked her hips upwards. She had to bite back a please on her lips, teeth coming down hard on her tongue.

She wouldn’t beg.

Sora pulled away from her then and her eyes fluttered open, beginning to protest. But they were both watching her, leaning across her to undress each other. This was the part that always drove her wild.

Watching with wide eyes as Riku pushed his hands into Sora’s shirt, pushing it up slowly, his hands tracing over every inch of Sora’s skin. Sora was driven back on his knees, panting at the feeling of Riku’s hands on his skin. Riku ran the pads of his index fingers over Sora’s nipples, rolling them until they were hard against his fingertips. Sora tilted his head back and moaned, arching his back, pressing his chest into Riku’s hands. Riku hummed in response, ripping the shirt over Sora’s head and pressing his mouth against the other man’s nipples. He sucked and lapped at them until Sora was a mess of moans and gasps, hips jerking upwards.

The sound of Riku’s shirt unzipping was next, Sora watched her while he dragged the zipper down low, exposing Riku’s chest and abdomen. They did this so slowly, Kairi wanted to scream. The had already driven her half crazy with desire, but they weren’t anywhere close to giving in to her. Not yet.

Sora didn’t focus his attentions on Riku’s chest, instead leaning over her to bite and suck at Riku’s abdomen. Kairi watched with interest, Sora’s hands finding the buckle of Riku’s belt and undoing it, yanking the belt from his pants in one swift motion.

Riku laughed in surprise, pressing his hands against Sora’s shoulders to steady himself.

Sora unbuttoned Riku’s trousers, tilting his head back to make eye contact with him as he lowered the zipper and inevitably pulled them down. Kairi watched Riku’s trousers moving lower, barring his skin. Sora left them to settle low on his hips, ignoring Kairi’s frustrated growl.

He pressed his hand into the front of Riku’s pants, cupping him in his hand.

Riku cursed, hips bucking into Sora’s hand, fingernails biting into his shoulders.

Sora rose, pressing his face into Riku’s shoulder, pressing kisses to his throat and chest while his hand worked Riku in his pants. He was whispering things against Riku’s throat, soft encouragements, begging him not to come too soon.

Kairi dug her fingernails into her stomach, her whole body trembling with need from just watching them. She would not touch herself, she had better control than that. Or that was what she told herself.

Riku pushed Sora’s hand away, his eyes shut tight. He was panting, sweat beading on his forehead. He was a million miles away from both of them, focussed on trying to keep himself under control. It had been too long since Sora touched him like that, he’d lost any stamina he’d built up to it.

Sora laughed at him, bringing him back to reality.

Riku growled in response, lunging for the clasp to Sora’s pants. He undid his belt quickly, not bothering to remove it. Instead, he focused on unbuttoning and unzipping Sora’s own pants. Riku was moving quickly now, a man on a mission.

Kairi pressed her fingers into her lower abdomen hard, slipping just beneath the waistband of her shorts. Sora locked eyes with her, watching, daring her to touch herself. She let out a strangled, frustrated noise, tears prickling in her eyes.

She brought both of her hands up, pressing them against her forehead. She squirmed beneath them, rubbing her legs together to try and get some relief.

Then Sora let out a startled gasp, calling her attention back to him and Riku and away from her own frustration. Riku had pulled Sora’s trousers down to his knees, exposing his hard length completely.

Kairi supposed the teasing had gone out the window, the moment Riku had almost come into Sora’s hand. She gripped the fabric of her shirt hard, watching.

Riku reached down, cupping Sora’s balls in his hand, squeezing and twisting them in his hand. Sora’s breath sped up, eyes wide. Then Riku extended himself further, bracing himself with one hand on the other side of her knee.

His mouth was so close to Sora’s cock now. He licked his lips, pressing them against the tip of Sora’s length once before pulling away, a string of precum stuck between them. Sora’s abdominal muscles jerked, making his cock jump in front of Riku.

Riku squeezed Sora’s balls again, his tongue lapping at the tip of his cock. Sora’s hands were clenched into fists by his side. His eyes were closed tight.

Riku released him and pulled away, leaving Sora knelt there, panting with his face flushed. Then, he turned his attention on Kairi. He crawled over top of her, his body hovering just above where she lay and he kissed her soundly. She gasped into his mouth, tongue darting out and tasting Sora on his lips.

Then he pulled away, kneeling between her legs and undoing the button of her shorts. He pulled them down without ceremony, dropping them next to her. She turned away from him then, looking over at Sora.

He was watching them, his cock still hard and throbbing. There was another bead of precum at the tip and Kairi reached her hand up, wanting to brush it off with her thumb. Riku scolded her, gripping both of her wrists in one of his hands and holding them over her head.

She made to protest, but it died on her lips when Riku pushed her panties to the side and slid one finger inside of her. She was so wet, one wasn’t enough, but she didn’t complain. Instead, she arched her back and moaned for him, her arms struggling beneath his grip.

Sora made a noise of frustration, drawing Kairi’s eyes back to him again. He was digging his nails into his thighs, gripping them hard to keep himself from touching his own cock.

Riku said something about patience, pushing another finger into her, moving her panties again to press his thumb into her clit. She moaned loud, hips bucking up into him. The pressure of his thumb on her clit was so delicious she almost came right then.

But just as soon as it came, it was gone again, Riku moved away from her, examining his fingers, wet from being inside of her. At first, she thinks he’s going to bring them to his mouth and lick them clean, but he doesn’t. Instead, he advances on Sora again, pressing his hand down between his legs, fingers circling his opening.

Sora bit down on his tongue, lurching forward slightly, his cock jumping again. Riku pressed a kiss to Sora’s hips, running his teeth along the sensitive skin there. Sora bucked into him, cock brushing the side of Riku’s face, leaving a line of precum from his jaw to his temple.

Riku gasped, hooking his finger and pressing it into Sora.

Sora cursed loudly, arching his back and squeezing his eyes shut tight. He tightened around Riku’s finger, his whole body tensing up at the feeling of him inside.

Riku steadied himself, gripping Sora’s cock in his other hand and closing his mouth around the tip. The noise that came from Sora’s mouth was halfway between a moan and a scream. His hands found Riku’s hair immediately, pulling hard.

Riku flicked his tongue against the head of Sora’s cock, working the base with his hand. He didn’t move his head at all. Instead he hollowed his cheeks and sucked at Sora hard, circling his tongue around him and working his ass all at the same time.

Sora whined and begged when he was close, pulling at Riku’s hair to get him to stop. Riku moved his hands away, but kept his mouth on him, head bobbing finally as he took in as much as he could of Sora’s length.

Sora was cursing loudly, whole body shaking with effort.

Riku stopped, pulling back from Sora with a wet ‘pop’.

Sora sighed in relief, nearly collapsing onto the dock.

Riku turned his hungry eyes onto her. Kairi’s nostrils flared, taking in a deep breath through her nose. Next to them, Sora caught his breath, raising his own eyes to look at her.

They were all a mess right now, of that she was absolutely certain. Sora’s hair was stuck to his forehead, slick with sweat. Riku’s own hair was mussed beyond repair, sticking up at odd angles from where both she and Sora had grabbed it. She could only imagine what she looked like beneath them, half naked and panting, her thighs slick and wet.

Sora moved first, despite the fact that he was still panting heavily. He lay down next to her, pushing her shirt up, past her breasts and exposing them to the ocean air. He took one of them into his mouth, tongue circling around her nipple, flicking against it any time she gasped and moaned.

Riku moved himself between her legs, pulling at her panties. She lifted her hips up to help him, watching over Sora’s head as he pulled them down and off.

Sora moved his hand away from her breasts down between her legs, spreading her apart with his fingers. He teased her there, his fingers circling her clit, but never actually touching her where she needed him.

She groaned, bucking up into his hand to chase her release. Sora merely moved his hand away whenever she tried, catching her nipple between his teeth as a warning. When she gave up, defeated, Sora moved his hand away, dragging her wetness over her stomach and back up to her breasts. He pinched her other nipple between his fingers, and she cried out his name.

Kairi could hardly take any more. This was too much teasing for how long they had been gone, she needed them to fuck her. Hard . No more of this almost but not quite nonsense.

She opened her mouth to tell them so, lifting her head up to look at them. But her breath caught in her throat when Riku dipped his head down between her legs, pressing the tip of his tongue to her clit.

Her whole body shook, every thought she ever had about how long they were taking, leaving her mind. She wrapped her legs around his shoulders and he muttered something, the vibrations of it sending a shock into her system. She was practically screaming now, so loud she was sure she’d alert half the island to what they were doing.

Neither of them shushed her.

Then, when Riku sucked her clit hard, she finally did scream; long and loud and keening as she came undone beneath him. Every muscle in her body tensed all at once, stars exploding behind her eyelids. Her whole body trembled and jerked and squeezed.

When she opened her eyes, both of her boys were staring down at her, a look of awe on their faces. Kairi blushed at the look of them and turned away.

But they weren’t done yet, that much she knew.

She was still panting when Sora pulled her up into his lap, parting her legs. She lay against him, letting him support her whole weight. She felt boneless after that orgasm, her whole body reduced to nothing but static.

Sora looked at her, his eyes questioning. She laughed a little and nuzzled her face into Sora’s neck, kissing him there in response.

Riku settled himself behind her, ripping open a foil packet and reaching around her, gripping Sora in his hands and rolling a condom down his length. Sora’s muscles tensed, cock jumping against her belly.

Behind her Riku pulled his pants lower, the buttons clinking against the dock, and tore open another packet.

She straightened up between them, Sora guiding her over him and easing himself inside of her. He gripped her hips and pulled her close to him, his eyes locking with Riku’s over her shoulder. He nodded at him, pressing his fingers into her ass. She jumped at first, the cold sensation of lubricant making contact with the head of her skin.

Sora whispered reassurances into her ear, his hand smoothing out her hair.

She moaned softly, one of Riku’s fingers pressing inside of her as Sora rocked up into her.

Riku pressed his other hand into her lower back, easing her forward just a little, his finger moving in and out of her slowly. She tensed, clenching around both of them, earning soft moans from them both.

Sora whispered something against her skin, and she felt her stomach flutter, her whole body relaxing again.

Riku pressed a second finger inside of her.

She tensed again, whimpering as he scissored his fingers inside of her. She dug her fingernails into Sora’s back, toes curling.

Sora smoothed his hand over her hair again, capturing his lips with her own. He kissed her soft and slow, the same way he had kissed Riku above her. She moaned into his mouth, bucking her hips against him.

He felt so good inside of her, but it still wasn’t enough .

She voiced her need, begging them both with soft little please, please, please ’s falling from her lips. Riku pulled his fingers from her slowly, replacing them with the tip of his cock. He pushed her forward again, even further so that Sora would have to lay down on his back to accommodate her. He complied readily, laying back and gripping Kairi’s hips to steady her. She braced her hands against Sora’s chest.

Riku buried himself inside of her, his cock twitching at the feeling. Kairi moaned, fingernails cutting into Sora’s skin.

He cursed beneath her, arching his back at the feeling of Riku’s cock sliding in and out of her. It pressed against him, moving along the length of his own cock, inside of her. Beneath her, Sora was paralyzed, her whole weight pressed down against him. He was at her mercy, living for the moments when she rolled her hips against him.

He could feel the pressure building inside of him, the intense pleasure of both Kairi and Riku moving against him. He couldn’t think about anything else other than where they were joined, the feeling of Riku against him, the way Kairi clenched around him every time Riku pushed in and out of her.

He started out slow, the pace almost insulting after how long their had all waited. Then, he gripped Kairi’s hair, pulling her head back and fucked her hard . Sora could feel the punishing pace of Riku’s cock, the way Kairi’s hips rolled and stuttered against him, hardly able to move.

He was so close.

They all knew it wasn’t going to take long, they had hardly controlled themselves during foreplay.

Riku was shouting something above them, Kairi shouting back. Sora’s ears were ringing, his eyes shut so tight he saw stars. He grabbed Kairi at the waist, crushing her against him and fucking up into her. He just needed a little more .

Kairi gasped and moaned and cried against him all at once, her face pressed into his chest.

He felt Riku reach down between them, brushing his hand against Sora’s length, soft, featherlight touches that made his stomach muscles tighten in anticipation. Then he pressed his hand further between them, the pads of his index and middle finger just barely grazing against Kairi’s clit.

The position was awkward, Riku’s hand trapped between them, but it was effective.

Kairi came again with another long keening cry. It was muffled this time from where her face was pressed into his chest. She clenched around both of them, her muscles tight, body shaking once more.

Riku withdrew his hand moving his hips faster still, no longer concerned with her pleasure as she panted between them. His eyes locked with Sora’s, his hand traveling down between them, still slick with Kairi’s cum.

He pressed his finger into Sora, eyes still locked on one another. Sora clenched around him, his muscles tightening. Riku moaned and winced at the feel of him, pressing his finger deeper hooking it inside of him, pressing hard against where Sora needed him most.

Sora came hard, biting his own arm to muffle the shout and Riku followed him down.

“F- fuck ,” Sora whispered beneath them, slick with sweat.

Riku pulled out of her slowly, a hand on her back to steady himself. Then he leaned back on his knees and to catch his breath. Kairi moved next, a bit shakily, pulling herself up and freeing Sora from inside of her. He looked at her gratefully, rolling onto his side and breathing hard.

She pulled her shirt back down over her breasts, but didn’t bother looking for any more of her clothes. She was too tired for that right now.

“Seconded,” Riku responded to Sora’s earlier statement. Kairi smiled, letting herself fall back onto the dock. Sora and Riku both busied themselves with pulling up their trousers then, making themselves look halfway decent just in case someone had overheard them.

“I’ve missed you two,” she said, her voice soft and filled with emotion, “this place just doesn’t feel like home without you here.”

i can’t without you

I’m laying here awake
Naked
Skin soft and supple
Lips wet
Fingers on your chest
Cheek against your shoulder
Ripe
Sweet
Open
And you’re checking your phone
For things that will never be
While I’m here next to you
Ready to be plucked from the stem
Heart racing
Heated
And pleading
But you
You’re too far gone
No matter how many nights you hold me
Beg me not to go
Smooth my hair over my shoulders
Kiss my forehead
Placate my whimpering trembling body
You’re never you
Not anymore
You’re just a shell
Hunched over your phone
Next to the
Sweetest fruit you’d ever eat
Escaping to the things that bitterness is made of
Just to pretend to feel whole again
Like you never will
Without me. 

Unfaithfully Yours

CW: Cheating, branding, rough sex, NSFW

i. oh no, he’s hot.

Elrick Bhuvanesh was seventeen-years-old the first time he sat on his father’s throne. 

Today he would be tested on his ability to command. He was also to grant Emmanuel Maravalle, the middle high-born Maravalle child, the ability to induct others into the magical realm. 

This would be the first bout of magic not related to self-transformation he’d be allowed to complete on his own. The Key Keeper ceremony was a simple one, but the job was so important to the magical realm he was practically vibrating with excitement at the idea of performing it.

He had, of course, seen his father do it hundreds of times, but this time he was allowed to do it alone

“Your highness,” his single guard addressed him, pulling him from his thoughts. 

“Yes?” Elrick asked, eyeing the man. 

He was short and buff with dark skin and glittering emerald eyes, a tell-tale family trait of the low-blood Maravalles. 

“Emmanuel Maravalle has arrived, shall I bring him in?” The guard asked.

Elrick nodded curtly.

“As you wish, my prince,” the Maravalle said, retreating from the throne.

When the guard entered again, Emmanuel in tow, Elrick had to bite his tongue to curb his very real reaction to the high-born Maravalle. 

He was incredibly tall and waifishly thin with a broad chest and long dreadlocked hair that spilled over his shoulders. He was probably the most gorgeous man Elrick had ever seen. 

The lower-caste Maravalle walked Emmanuel to the center of the room, standing aside as Emmanuel lowered himself to his knees, head bowed with one arm crossed over his chest. 

“My prince,” Emmanuel said in a voice so deep and melodic, it gave Elrick chills. 

“Maravalle,” Elrick said, voice wavering. 

The edges of Emmanuel’s lips quirked upward into a little smirk at the sound. 

Something that did not go unnoticed by Elrick. This one was going to be trouble , he could tell. 

“Shall I rise, my prince?” Emmanuel asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Elrick narrowed his eyes. “You’ll rise when you are commanded to rise,” he snapped, trying to sound authoritative. 

Emmanuel’s infuriating little smirk grew larger. 

“As you command, my prince,” Emmanuel said, his tone teasing. 

On the throne, Elrick shifted, a strange, but not altogether unpleasant feeling coming over him. He should not be attracted to the disrespect this Maravalle was showing him. And yet.

“But I cannot kneel before you all day,” Emmanuel teased, licking his lips. “Unless that is what you desire.” He raised his gaze, to look at Elrick, eyes dancing with amusement. 

Elrick’s mouth opened in surprise, his stomach doing somersaults. No one, not even his betrothed, had ever spoken to him like this. He knew he should punish Emmanuel for his insolence and for embarrassing him in front of a low-born Maravalle guard, but…

He liked being spoken to like that. 

“Rise then, Maravalle,” Elrick commanded, irritated. “Let’s get this over with.”

“You want to be rid of me already?” Emmanuel asked, rising to his full height. “I’m hurt.”

Elrick chose not to respond, rising slowly from the throne and walking toward Emmanuel with purpose. “Give me your hand,” he commanded. 

Emmanuel did as he was bid, offering him his hand, palm up.

Elrick tried not to stare at the length of his fingers or the sheer size of Emmanuel’s hand compared to his own. He also definitely did not stop breathing, nor was his heart racing wildly in his chest. He was the picture of grace and ease as he reached forward, pressing a single razor sharp fingernail into Emmanuel’s palm until the older man’s blood bubbled forth. 

“Say your oath,” Elrick said, “bind yourself to the magical realm as its servant for all the rest of your days.” He released Emmanuel’s palm, waving his hand in the space between them to produce the Key Keeper alter. “Bind your blood to the keepers before you.”

Emmanuel lowered his hand to the altar, pressing his palm flat against it. 

“I bind myself to the magical realm, to magic itself, as a keeper of secrets and the keys to the kingdom. I give myself as a servant, willing magic to use me as it pleases for the good of the realm,” Emmanuel recited. 

The altar glowed beneath his touch, accepting his bloodied handprint into the catalogue of Key Keepers that was kept by the realm. 

“And so you are bound,” Elrick said. 

Emmanuel raised his eyes from the altar, lifting his hand and turning it over. “Consano,” he said, healing the wound Elrick had given him. The skin of his palm smooth again.

“Great job,” Emmanuel smiled, reaching out to pat Elrick on the shoulder. “I would never have known this was your first time.”

Elrick glanced at where Emmanuel’s hand was on his arm, literally touching him. Other than family members, touching like this was now allowed. Even something so innocent as this. 

Emmanuel had to have known that, but he did it anyway

“Emmanuel,” Elrick said, his voice a low rumble of warning. 

“Elrick,” Emmanuel responded in kind. 

A soft, breathy gasp escaped his lips. No one outside of his parents and Adorara had ever called him by his first name. 

Emmanuel chuckled. “Are you surprised by my disrespect, my prince?” he teased.

Elrick’s mouth went dry. He had no idea how to respond. Etiquette dictated that he should punish Emmanuel for this, but…

“Why hasn’t the low-born reprimanded you?” Elrick demanded, eyeing the low-born Maravalle curiously. 

“Is that what you want?” Emmanuel questioned. “For Adrien to reprimand me?” 

Elrick turned his gaze back up to Emmanuel. 

“Have I offended you so greatly that you would have someone of my own blood remove me from your presence?” Emmanuel pressed.

Elrick watched him, in silence for a long moment. 

“No,” he admitted. 

“Then what do you want, your highness?” 

“For you to answer my question,” Elrick snapped. “Why has the low born not…put a stop to this?” He wasn’t comfortable in engaging in this type of behavior with a supervisor present. 

“I bribed him,” Emmanuel said, shifting nervously. “Is that okay?”

“Why?” Elrick asked, surprised. 

“Have you seen yourself?” Emmanuel asked, gesturing to Elrick’s body. 

Elrick narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What were you expecting to…get out of this? Bribing our supervisor?” 

Emmanuel shrugged. “ You . I wanted to see you.”

“Why me?” Elrick asked. “Of everyone else you could’ve—”

“Do you remember when we first met?” Emmanuel interrupted. 

Elrick blinked up at him in surprise. “No,” he answered honestly. He honestly thought this was the first time they had ever met each other. 

“It was when you and Lucian met formally for the first time,” Emmanuel said. “You probably don’t remember it because we were all so young. I think you and Lucian were seven at the time, but I remember.”

“What does this have to do with—” Emmanuel pressed one of his long, slender fingers to Elrick’s lips to quiet him. 

“Lucian had been so nervous about meeting you. Meeting the royal you’re supposed to be bound to for eternity or until one of you dies is not an easy thing to do,” Emmanuel continued. “We’d heard things about you and your family all our lives. How dangerous and calculating you all were, but…you were different.”

Elrick shifted in front of him, still silenced by Emmanuel’s finger pressed to his lips. Normally, this slight would be punishable by death, but Elrick had never been as uptight as his family tried to raise him to be. 

“Lucian couldn’t see it then,” Emmanuel said. “I’m not sure she can even see it now, but I noticed. You’re not at all like your family. And I wanted the chance to see… you .” He lowered his hand from Elrick’s lips, indicating that the other man could speak again if he wanted to. 

“And?” Elrick asked. “Did I surprise you?”

“Yes,” Emmanuel admitted. 

Elrick wanted to ask how, he wanted to know what Emmanuel had expected him to react to the things he’d said to him, but the giant door to the throne room opened with a loud creaking noise and the two of them jumped apart. 

ii. here we go again

Elrick Bhuvanesh was nineteen and in his second year of university when he saw Emmanuel again. 

After their brief encounter a few years ago, Elrick had tried to put Emmanuel out of his mind, but there was no denying the raw attraction between them. He’d never have someone pay him so much attention. 

So, seeing him there in the lobby of his apartment building had been a surprise to say the least. 

“Emmanuel,” Elrick said, approaching him. 

The days of adult supervision were behind them now, since he’d turned eighteen and moved to Manhattan. Now he and Emmanuel could be completely alone without anyone to bribe. The idea of that thrilled him more than it should have.

“Elrick,” Emmanuel said, surprised. “What are you doing here?” 

“I…live here,” Elrick responded, as if it should have been obvious. This was the best magic friendly building on the Upper East Side. Plus, his family owned it.

“Oh, uh,” Emmanuel glanced around the building nervously. “I guess I should’ve expected that.”

Emmanuel seemed so different than the last time they’d met. He was more anxious and twitchy, his eyes scanning the lobby around them. 

“Who are you looking for?” Elrick asked. 

“My sister. And her roommate. I’m helping them move in today,” Emmanuel answered, distracted. 

“Luciana is moving here?” Elrick questioned, scanning the lobby as well. 

Emmanuel stilled for a moment, his gaze finally settling on Elrick’s face. He raised his eyebrow as if to ask ‘you expected her to live somewhere else’?

Elrick was annoyed at himself for even asking. Of course Lucian would be living here. “Who is her roommate?” he asked, changing the subject. “Another Maravalle?”

Emmanuel looked uncomfortable and he chewed the inside of his cheek nervously. “Do you remember the last time we saw each other?” he asked. “When I became a Key Keeper? Officially.”

“I…” Elrick went still. Of course he remembered, their conversation had been so strange and sexually charged, but he didn’t know if he should just…tell Emmanuel that or if he should play coy. 

Emmanuel didn’t wait for his answer. Instead, he stepped into Elrick’s space, his hand coming up to grip his chin forcefully. “Take me upstairs,” Emmanuel whispered. 

Elrick made a pitiful, needy sound. He’d been thinking about this moment since Emmanuel left the palace that day. What could have happened between them if they’d had more time alone. 

Emmanuel chuckled down at him. “Could you at least try to act like a high blood? I know I’m hot, but damn. I’m nothing compared to you or your betrothed.” 

“Don’t command me to take you upstairs and mention Adorara in the same breath,” Elrick snapped.

“I’m not commanding anything of you, my prince. I wouldn’t dream of giving a high blood orders. Not me, a lowly Maravalle,” Emmanuel purred.

“Don’t act so innocent,” Elrick snorted. “Not when you’ve already disrespected me so openly.”

“Oh, but you like it when I disrespect you, Elrick ,” Emmanuel teased. “Or you wouldn’t let me do it so much.”

“Don’t tell me what I like,” Elrick said softly, a little thrill going through his body at the sound of his name on Emmanuel’s lips. 

Emmanuel hummed thoughtfully. “How about you don’t act like you’re the one in control here, Bhuvanesh.” 

Elrick swallowed hard, biting back a low, needy groan. He shouldn’t be acting like this, especially not in public. There were royals and low-class magical creatures alike lounging around the lobby. Any of them could see them, standing there so close together, Emmanuel gripping his chin and smirking down at him. 

He could have Emmanuel killed for this. For treating him so familiarly. For even uttering his common name. He was supposed to address him by his title. Always . Unless it was impossible to do so without giving them away to the mortal realm. Even then, he should only use his first name. To debase him so completely was dangerous.

“See?” Emmanuel smirked. “Told you, you liked it.”

Elrick huffed, pushing Emmanuel’s hand away and taking a step back. “You’re playing with fire, Maravalle.” 

Emmanuel honest-to-God chuckled at him, crossing his long, spindly arms over his broad chest. “Then walk away, your highness,” he shrugged. “Makes no difference to me.”

Elrick clenched his fists by his side, closing his eyes tight for a for moments and taking several deep breaths to calm down. It wasn’t every day he was so…bothered by a middle blood. Emmanuel had been under his skin for several years now, though. And he didn’t think that was going to change anytime soon. 

He fished his keys out of his pocket and removed his spare, stepping forward and back into Emmanuel’s space. He pressed the spare key into Emmanuel’s palm. “Tell Luciana I say hello,” he said, glaring up at Emmanuel, daring him to disobey. 

Instead, the older man smirked, his hand closing around the key. “I am going to eat you alive,” he purred. 

Elrick took a deep, shaky breath, eyelids fluttering. “I look forward to it.” 

iii. a midnight visitor

Emmanuel made him wait for hours

Elrick shouldn’t be annoyed by that, considering he said he was helping Luciana move…but he was. If Emmanuel had all that time to waste teasing him in the lobby, surely he had time to come up here and make good on his promises. 

When Emmanuel did finally decide to grace Elrick with his presence, it was well past midnight and Elrick had given up on him showing up altogether. He assumed at that point, Emmanuel had just been fucking with him and he’d get his spare key back in the mail. 

Then he would proceed to pretend nothing had ever happened between them to save himself the embarrassment of having to explain to his mother the reason he wanted to have Emmanuel Maravalle murdered. 

Emmanuel did not knock. He used the spare key and entered Elrick’s apartment like he belonged there. He was newly showered, smelling of grapefruit and rose infused soap. The scent was so strong, Elrick could smell him from across the room. 

He wrinkled his nose. 

Emmanuel eyed him with an amused expression, closing his front door behind him and stepping into Elrick’s enormous living room. “Have you been waiting for me all this time?” he asked. 

Elrick narrowed his eyes, leaning back against his overstuffed couch. “No,” he said, petulant as ever. “I have other things to worry about than whether or not you were going to grace me with your presence this evening.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Emmanuel smirked, making his way over to the couch. He was dressed in a loose-fitting green v-neck and what appeared to be his sister Luciana’s sweatpants considering how tight and short they were on his legs. 

“Are you wearing your sister’s sweatpants?” Elrick asked, changing the subject. 

“I am,” Emmanuel said, doing a little spin before he plopped down on the couch right next to Elrick. “Do you like them?” 

“Why?” Elrick questioned, preferring not to answer Emmanuel’s question. Of course he liked them. They fit him well despite being a little too short. They also left…very little to the imagination. 

“I literally helped my sister move into her new apartment today. Which means I was carrying boxes from the street to the elevator and into her apartment. Sooo…” he trailed off, smirking. “I didn’t think you’d want me to come up here all covered in sweat.” He leaned a little closer to Elrick. “I thought you’d want us to get all sweaty together.”

“What exactly do you think is going to happen here?” Elrick asked, backing away from Emmanuel and studying his face. 

“Are you really asking me that right now, Elrick?” Emmanuel sighed, reaching out to stroke his hand over Elrick’s cheek. “Haven’t we played enough games?” 

Elrick leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering closed. “Can’t you let me at least…pretend to resist you?” 

“No,” Emmanuel whispered, so close Elrick could feel his breath on his lips. “We’re done with that. I’ve been waiting almost two whole years to do this. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Elrick scoffed, eyes opening again. “Like you made me wait for hou —”

“Shut up , Elrick,” Emmanuel groaned, grabbing his face and crashing their mouths together.

Elrick immediately panicked, pushing Emmanuel away. 

Emmanuel looked surprised. “Oh my god,” he said, holding up his hands apologetically. “I’m sorry. I thought…did I misread this entire situation? I didn’t mean to…you invited me up here…I…”

“No! I want this…you just…” Elrick stammered. “My teeth , Emmanuel. I could hurt you!” 

“Is that all?” Emmanuel deadpanned.

“I don’t…I don’t want to make you bleed,” Elrick gasped. It was something he worried about constantly. Considering his first few kisses hadn’t exactly gone…according to plan. 

Emmanuel sighed with relief, smirking mischievously. “What if I want you to hurt me?” He closed the space between them again, peppering Elrick’s face with kisses. “Your teeth don’t scare me. I fully expect you to use them.” 

“I could kill you,” Elrick argued. 

“I’m a Maravalle,” Emmanuel said. “I’m impossible to kill.” 

“But…” 

Emmanuel put his finger over Elrick’s lips to silence him. “Do you want to keep making excuses, or do you want to have some fun?” 

Elrick didn’t respond, instead he pulled Emmanuel back toward him, kissing him roughly.

Emmanuel hummed happily into his mouth, pushing the younger man back on the couch until he lay on top of him.  

Elrick readjusted himself beneath him, trying to get into a more comfortable position so he wasn’t bent at an odd angle. When he couldn’t quite lay like he wanted, he whined pitifully. 

“God,” Emmanuel breathed, pulling away and grabbing Elrick by his hips, adjusting him so Emmanuel knelt between his legs. “You’re such a needy little slut.” 

Elrick’s mouth fell open in surprise. No one had ever called him something like that.

“Don’t act so surprised,” Emmanuel smirked, pinning Elrick’s arms over his head as he leaned down to kiss him again. “I told you I was going to demolish you,” he said between kisses. “I’m going to fuck you so good you’re ruined for everyone else.” 

He bucked his hips against Elrick abruptly, making the younger man gasp into his mouth. 

“I’m going to make you mine, Elrick Bhuvanesh,” Emmanuel growled, pulling away from his lips to nip at his throat. “I am going to be all you think about.” 

“You already are ,” Elrick admitted, moaning as Emmanuel sucked on his throat hard , rolling the flesh between his teeth. “If you’re trying to mark me, you’ll have to bite harder than that.” 

“Do you want me to mark you?” Emmanuel asked, peppering kisses along Elrick’s jaw. “I have an iron brand I could burn into your skin if that’s what you’re into.”

Elrick shivered violently beneath him and curled his toes. 

Emmanuel chuckled. “Do you want me to hurt you?” he whispered, nipping at his pointed ear. 

Please ,” Elrick begged. 

“I knew I was going to enjoy this,” Emmanuel responded, hastily pulling Elrick’s shirt over his head and using it to loosely bind his hands above his head. Then, he pulled an iron brand of the Maravalle’s family crest out of his pocket.

“I didn’t know you lot had those,” Elrick admitted. “Aren’t iron brands outlawed?” 

“I’m the magical realm, sure,” Emmanuel said, “But humans have no idea the fae even exist. So they aren’t bound by your laws.”

He lowered the brand to Elrick’s stomach, the iron hovering just barely above his skin. 

Elrick could already feel the heat of the metal against his skin. The muscles in his stomach jerked involuntarily. 

“Tell me to knock it the fuck off if I actually hurt you, yeah?” Emmanuel instructed. 

“Yeah,” Elrick nodded, watching as Emmanuel pressed the brand hard against his skin. 

Elrick wasn’t sure what he expected to feel. He’d been burned by iron before, sometimes it was unavoidable and the pain was almost always excruciating. And it took nearly an entire day for it to heal completely, but this was different. 

The pain was still there, biting into his skin. He could literally smell his flesh cooking beneath it, but it was somehow less severe than the last time he’d unwittingly burned himself on an iron sword. 

“Was that okay?” Emmanuel asked, moving the brand away from his skin. 

“Do it again,” Elrick pleaded immediately. 

Emmanuel branded his chest this time and Elrick didn’t think he’d ever been more turned on than he was in that moment. 

“Are you okay, Elrick?” Emmanuel asked. 

Elrick was more than okay. He was…euphoric. His head was clouded with lust and endorphins and Emmanuel goddamn Maravalle was marking him with his family crest. 

“I’ve imagined this so much,” Elrick said, opening his eyes to look at Emmanuel. “Ever since that day two years ago.”

“And what do I do to you when you imagine this?” Emmanuel asked, pocketing the brand and leaning down to press soft kisses to Elrick’s chest. 

“You’ve already surpassed my imagination,” Elrick admitted.

Emmanuel hummed softly, nipping at Elrick’s belly. “Surely there’s something you want me to do that I haven’t already done.” 

Elrick took a shaky breath, his face flushing with embarrassment. “Having you here…” he began, voice shaky. “Is more than enough for me.”

“God, you’re such sappy little shit, aren’t you?” Emmanuel growled, biting his stomach harder, right next to the brand he’d burned into his skin. 

Elrick whined and rolled his hips.

“Tell me what you want, or I’m going to roll you over right now and fuck you so hard you’ll be sobbing when I’m done,” Emmanuel growled.

Elrick smirked down at him. “What if that’s exactly what I want?” 

Emmanuel moaned. “You’re such a little shit, you know that?” he asked. 

“But you like it,” Elrick retorted. 

“Don’t tell me what I like,” Emmanuel smirked, grabbing his hips and flipping him over to lay on his stomach as if he weighed nothing at all. 

Elrick gasped in surprise. “Are all you Maravalle’s this strong or just you?” 

Emmanuel laughed, loud and full-bellied. “ Please , Elrick. You weigh 90 pounds. My grandmother could throw you across the room and she has a bad back.”

Elrick glared back at him. “I weigh well over that and you know it. I’m not scrawny , Emmanuel.”

Emmanuel raked his eyes over Elrick’s body. “Coulda fooled me,” he said.

Elrick rolled his eyes. “Shut up and fuck me ,” he barked. 

Emmanuel sat back on his haunches. “I think you’re forgetting who is in charge here,” he smirked. “Lest you forget, I’m the one on top of you .”

“Only because I’ve allowed it,” Elrick growled in response. “Don’t act like I couldn’t kill you if I wanted.” 

Emmanuel laughed again. “You wouldn’t dare. None of you Bhuvanesh do any of your own dirty work. That’s why you have the Maravalle. To do all your killing for you.”

Elrick was up in an instant, unbound with his hand on Emmanuel’s throat. “I am so much stronger than you are, Maravalle,” he said, darkly, tossing Emmanuel down on the couch and mounting him. “You think you could hold me down if I didn’t want you to?” 

He could feel Emmanuel’s cock jerk against his belly through the thin sweatpants the older man wore. 

“You wouldn’t even be alive if I didn’t will it,” Elrick growled. “I could kill you right here, right now with a flick of my wrist. It would mean nothing to me.”

Emmanuel shuddered and groaned. 

“You’re my play thing,” Elrick continued, enjoying the effect he was having on Emmanuel. He reached down between them, palming Emmanuel’s cock. It twitched against his hand and Emmanuel sighed, tilting his head back. 

Elrick’s mouth watered at the sight of Emmanuel’s long slender neck exposed to him. God, this man was going to be the death of him. 

Anyone else would be scared shitless right now, but Emmanuel? He was turned on . Elrick was literally threatening to kill him and he was practically leaking pre-cum into his boxers. 

“It should be illegal for someone to have a throat so…” he gestured vaguely. 

“Just wait until I use it to swallow your cock,” Emmanuel responded, shit eating grin on his face. 

The mouth on him. 

Emmanuel pushed Elrick back down onto the couch, and unbuttoned his jeans, yanking both his jeans and pants off in one go. 

Elrick swallowed hard as Emmanuel drank him in, eyes lingering on his cock as he licked his lips. 

“Is this okay?” Elrick asked, suddenly self-conscious beneath his gaze. “I can…change it if you want.” 

“It’s perfect,” Emmanuel said. “You’re perfect.” He leaned down and kissed him again, soft and slow this time. 

Elrick leaned up into the kiss, sighing into Emmanuel’s mouth. 

Emmanuel rolled beside him on the couch, gripping his length in his hand and using his thumb to spread pre-cum over the tip slowly. 

Elrick sighed and rolled his hips. “Haven’t I had enough teasing for a lifetime?” he asked. 

“Not nearly,” Emmanuel responded, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. 

“God, I hate you,” Elrick complained. 

“You won’t when I finally make you cum all over this nice couch,” Emmanuel responded in kind.

Elrick moaned in response, bucking up into Emmanuel’s hand. “If you don’t hurry up and fuck me I might just cum all over your hand,” he hissed. 

“Do it and I’ll never fuck you again,” Emmanuel threatened. 

A little thrill went through Elrick. So this wasn’t just a one time thing? 

Emmanuel released his length and Elrick groaned, cracking his eyes open to watch him. He was rummaging in the pocket of Lucian’s sweatpants again, pulling out a key, the brand, and another set of keys and tossing them on the table. 

“What are you looking for?” Elrick asked.

“Lube and a condom,” Emmanuel responded, pulling a small tube of it out of his pocket and presenting both it and a condom to Elrick triumphantly. 

“I also have lube, you know,” Elrick responded. “You didn’t have to bring you own.”

“Why would you need lube?” Emmanuel teased. “Aren’t you a virgin or something?”

Elrick snorted. “Hardly.”

Emmanuel smirked, kissing him sweetly. “See? I knew you were a little slut.”

Elrick laughed.

“But I’m about to ruin you for everyone else,” Emmanuel purred, reaching down between his legs and circling his anus with his newly lubed fingers. 

Elrick swallowed, his eyes slipping closed as he concentrated on the feeling of Emmanuel teasing him there . His finger circling and spreading lube between his thighs, massaging him open. 

“You’re so good,” Emmanuel breathed into his ear, leaning up to kiss and nip at his throat. He pressed the tip of his finger inside of him.

Elrick tensed at the unfamiliar sensation, taking a shaky breath. Relax , he willed himself, letting the tension fade from his body. 

Emmanuel kissed his forehead, his cheek, his mouth. He pressed his finger further inside. 

“Am I your first guy?” Emmanuel asked, moving a second lube soaked finger to press against Elrick’s opening. 

“No,” Elrick answered honestly. 

Emmanuel made a contemplative noise, rephrasing his question, “Am I your first guy like this?” He wiggled his finger pointedly.

Elick swallowed, his cheeks flushing red. “Yes,” he answered. 

Emmanuel buried his face in his neck and sighed happily. “I knew you’d wait for me,” he teased. 

“Shut up,” Elrick blushed. “I was—”

“Just let me have this,” Emmanuel said. 

No ,” Elrick responded, but he stopped arguing all the same. 

Emmanuel pressed a second finger inside of him and he gasped, his breath coming faster as he willed himself not to tense up.

The sensation was so foreign to him. He’d never had someone inside of him like this. It was almost overwhelming considering how long he had waited for whatever this flirtation between them was to come to fruition. 

When Emmanuel got the second finger inside of him fully, he spread his two fingers apart, opening Elrick up more. 

The sensation had him bucking his hips and clenching his eyes shut tight. His teeth were set on edge, a thrill of pleasure rushing over him. He hadn’t expected this to be so intense

“Easy there, your highness,” Emmanuel said, “don’t get too excited yet.”

“Don’t call me that when you have your fingers inside of me,” Elrick complained. “Or it’s all I’ll think about the next time someone addresses me like they supposed to.”

“Oh I’m counting on it, highness,” Emmanuel chuckled. 

“I hate you,” Elrick sighed. 

Emmanuel pressed a third finger into him. 

“Jesus,” Elrick shuddered. He hadn’t expected that. It took all of his willpower not to cum right then and there. 

Emmanuel curled his fingers inside of him, spreading him nice and wide. “You like that, my prince?” He asked. “You like feeling me inside you?”

Yes, ” Elrick said without hesitation. 

He had never been with someone so vocal during sex. Most of his partners had been quiet, but Emmanuel talked so much . Elrick was embarrassed by how much he liked it. 

“I think you’re ready so I’m gonna slide my fingers out now, okay?” Emmanuel said, voice low and filled with lust. 

Yes ,” Elrick answered. He’d been waiting for Emmanuel to fuck him for hours. It felt like it took a literal lifetime for them to get to this point. 

Emmanuel slid his fingers out slowly, standing up from the couch to shimmy out of his sister’s sweatpants and pull his shirt over his head, tossing them both to the floor. 

He was bigger than Elrick expected, thicker too. 

“Is there a problem, my prince?” Emmanuel asked playfully. 

“Of course not,” Elrick answered. “I’m just surprised is all. Sit down so I can fuck you.”

Emmanuel chuckled softly. “You won’t be fucking anyone,” he teased. “I’ll be fucking you.” He lowered himself back down onto the couch, unwrapping the condom sliding it down over his length. 

“Come on, then.” he said, helping Elrick into his lap. 

“Finally,” Elrick sighed, gripping the base of Emmanuel’s cock as he lowered himself down onto it slowly. He pressed his forehead into the older man’s throat as he took in his length. 

“You can bite if you need to,” Emmanuel whispered against his ear. “I know how overwhelming this can be the first time. I’ve bottomed before.” 

Elrick moaned wantonly against his throat. “I hope you’ll bottom for me sometime.” 

Emmanuel chuckled warmly. “Not a chance, your highness.” 

Elrick groaned and sank down on him completely, pressing his face into Emmanuel’s shoulder, sucking gently at his skin. 

Emmanuel gripped his hips and moaned loud into his ear, fucking up into him in short, tight strokes. 

Elrick made a sobbing noise, digging his nails into the couch behind Emmanuel’s back. 

“Bite me,” Emmanuel said. 

“I’m not supposed to,” Elrick responded, pulling away to study Emmanuel’s face. 

“You’re also not supposed to be fucking someone you’re not betrothed to,” Emmanuel said, smirking. “And yet here we are.” He thrust up into him again, gripping his hips harder and building a rhythm. 

“I…” Elrick blushed, “Do you really want me to bite you?” 

“Yes,” Emmanuel said. “The idea of you sinking your sharp ass teeth into my throat is fucking hot , dude.”

Elrick shivered. “You might pass out from blood loss,” he said.

“I’m a necromancer, Elrick,” Emmanuel deadpanned. “And a Maravalle at that. I think I’ll be fine .” 

“You can’t raise yourself from the dead, idiot,” Elrick responded. 

“Yeah, well. My sister is right downstairs,” Emmanuel chuckled. 

“I do not want to have to explain to your sister why you passed out naked in my apartment from blood loss,” Elrick groaned. 

“She’s bonded to you,” Emmanuel responded. “It’s not like she could tell anyone.”

“Yes, but she would know. And I don’t know if you’ve met your sister, but I would never hear the end of it,” Elrick complained. 

“Alright,” Emmanuel said, grabbing Elrick by the back of the neck and flinking him face down onto the couch. “If you’re not gonna bite me…” he trailed off, pushing Elrick’s face down into the couch cushions. “I’m gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop.”

He pushed himself back inside of Elrick, not bothering to let the younger man adjust this time. He snapped his hips quickly, fucking him hard and fast. 

Elrick bit the couch cushion to keep himself from screaming. He wouldn’t dare give Emmanuel the satisfaction of seeing him so undone by his cock. 

“Is this better, Your highness?” Emmanuel hissed, his long body draped over him as he fucked him into the couch. “Is this what you wanted?” Emmanuel’s hands were on either side of Elrick’s head as he fucked into him hard

The feeling was indescribable. Emmanuel’s cock filled him so completely that every thrust sent waves of immeasurable pleasure through his entire body. 

He was half out of his mind, head turned as he gasped for breath. Broken, needy moans escaped his lips and he gripped the couch for dear life. The way he was bent beneath Emmanuel was starting to hurt , but he didn’t dare try to readjust. He could take a little pain in exchange for all the pleasure. 

Emmanuel pressed down on his lower back, bending him further down into the couch cushions, his cock hitting exactly where Elrick needed him. 

Elrick whined, his toes curling. “Yes, yes, yes ,” he panted. “ Yes .” He arched up into Emmanuel, pressing needly little kisses to the older man’s wrist. 

“You feel so good,” Emmanuel groaned, his thrusts falling out of rhythm as he got close. 

Elrick smirked into the couch. “I thought you said you were going to fuck me until I begged you to stop,” he teased. “And you’re already close.” 

“Shut up you little shit,” Emmanuel panted, grabbing a fistful of Elrick’s hair and pulling him up off the couch. “I can finish whenever I want.”

“Yes, but I thought you wanted to pleasure me,” Elrick goaded. 

“You’re such an insufferable little asshole,” Emmanuel moaned, gripping Elrick’s thigh and stilling his hips. He was breathing heavily, his whole body trembling. 

“Are you tired already?” Elrick smirked, “I’m so disappointed .” 

Emmanuel growled and reached around him, pulling him back so he was almost flush against Emmanuel’s chest. He wrapped his hand around Elrick’s cock, jerking him off as he fucked up into him slow and shallow. 

The angle was awkward, but Elrick was hardly paying much attention to that. He bucked up into Emmanuel’s hand. He’d been close before he started teasing Emmanuel about not lasting, but now he was—

His hips jerked violently as he came over Emmanuel’s hand after barely even a handful of strokes. 

Emmanuel groaned into his ear. “You were close this whole time making me feel bad for not being able to keep up with you. God you’re such a little shit.” He moved his hand from Elrick’s cock wiped his cum on his belly. Then, he reached up and gripped Elrick’s throat, squeezing just enough to make his head spin as he began to move his hips again.

Elrick made a noise of protest, still overstimulated from his orgasm. 

“No,” Emmanuel said. “You don’t get to protest. You’re the one who came first.”

Elrick whined pitifully, rolling his hips lazily against Emmanuel’s cock. 

“God you’re so hot like this. All sleepy and spent,” Emmanuel gasped, pressing sloppy open-mouthed kisses against Elrick’s back and shoulders. 

Elrick made a soft keening noise in reply. His head was still spinning from his orgasm, stars floating behind his eyelids. He’d never come so hard before in his life

Emmanuel wrapped his arm around his waist, his thrusts picking up again as Elrick started to come down from his high. 

“You’re such a mess,” Emmanuel moaned, fucking him harder. His thrusts became erratic and out of sync again. “God, I’m close.”

“Then finish,” Elrick said. 

“What? No more teasing?” Emmanuel gasped, hips jerking. He finished with a long, low grown against Elrick’s back. 

“No teasing necessary, it seems,” Elrick answered, smirking at him over his shoulder. 

“Shut up and get off of me,” Emmanuel laughed. 

Elrick complied, standing up from the couch. His stomach was covered in cum from where Emmanuel has used it as his own personal cum rag. Not to mention his ass was dripping with lube. He also still had Maravalle brands burned into his stomach and chest. He’d almost forgotten about those. 

How long had they been doing this? He didn’t even want to know. 

“I need to shower immediately,” Elrick said, gathering his long hair up into a messy high bun. “You can…stay if you want. I have a guest room or…”

Emmanuel stood up from the couch, joints cracking as he stretched. “Of course I’m staying, you idiot,” he leaned down to press a quick, chaste kiss to Elrick’s lips. “And I’ll be sleeping in your bed. I don’t know what you thought this was, but I actually like you, Bhuvanesh.”

Elrick stared up at him. “Okay,” he said. 

“Is that all you have to say?” Emmanuel asked. 

“If you wanted me to tell you, I like you too, I’m not going to,” Elrick smirked, grabbing a hair tie from his coffee table and using it to hold his hair in place. 

“Then I don’t have to stay here,” Emmanuel threatened. 

“You’re right, you don’t,” Elrick said, turning and sort of walking, sort of waddling to the bathroom. 

Emmanuel followed after him. “Come on, man,” he said. “I told you I liked you. And you can’t return the favor?”

“No,” Elrick responded, disappearing into his bathroom and turning his shower on. 

“Because it’s not true?” Emmanuel asked, voice quiet. 

“No,” Elrick said, smiling sadly at him.. “Because it is .” He left the ‘and I’m supposed to marry someone else’ unsaid.

Unfaithfully Yours

CW: Cheating, branding, rough sex, NSFW

i. oh no, he’s hot.

Elrick Bhuvanesh was seventeen-years-old the first time he sat on his father’s throne. 

Today he would be tested on his ability to command. He was also to grant Emmanuel Maravalle, the middle high-born Maravalle child, the ability to induct others into the magical realm. 

This would be the first bout of magic not related to self-transformation he’d be allowed to complete on his own. The Key Keeper ceremony was a simple one, but the job was so important to the magical realm he was practically vibrating with excitement at the idea of performing it.

He had, of course, seen his father do it hundreds of times, but this time he was allowed to do it alone

“Your highness,” his single guard addressed him, pulling him from his thoughts. 

“Yes?” Elrick asked, eyeing the man. 

He was short and buff with dark skin and glittering emerald eyes, a tell-tale family trait of the low-blood Maravalles. 

“Emmanuel Maravalle has arrived, shall I bring him in?” The guard asked.

Elrick nodded curtly.

“As you wish, my prince,” the Maravalle said, retreating from the throne.

When the guard entered again, Emmanuel in tow, Elrick had to bite his tongue to curb his very real reaction to the high-born Maravalle. 

He was incredibly tall and waifishly thin with a broad chest and long dreadlocked hair that spilled over his shoulders. He was probably the most gorgeous man Elrick had ever seen. 

The lower-caste Maravalle walked Emmanuel to the center of the room, standing aside as Emmanuel lowered himself to his knees, head bowed with one arm crossed over his chest. 

“My prince,” Emmanuel said in a voice so deep and melodic, it gave Elrick chills. 

“Maravalle,” Elrick said, voice wavering. 

The edges of Emmanuel’s lips quirked upward into a little smirk at the sound. 

Something that did not go unnoticed by Elrick. This one was going to be trouble , he could tell. 

“Shall I rise, my prince?” Emmanuel asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Elrick narrowed his eyes. “You’ll rise when you are commanded to rise,” he snapped, trying to sound authoritative. 

Emmanuel’s infuriating little smirk grew larger. 

“As you command, my prince,” Emmanuel said, his tone teasing. 

On the throne, Elrick shifted, a strange, but not altogether unpleasant feeling coming over him. He should not be attracted to the disrespect this Maravalle was showing him. And yet.

“But I cannot kneel before you all day,” Emmanuel teased, licking his lips. “Unless that is what you desire.” He raised his gaze, to look at Elrick, eyes dancing with amusement. 

Elrick’s mouth opened in surprise, his stomach doing somersaults. No one, not even his betrothed, had ever spoken to him like this. He knew he should punish Emmanuel for his insolence and for embarrassing him in front of a low-born Maravalle guard, but…

He liked being spoken to like that. 

“Rise then, Maravalle,” Elrick commanded, irritated. “Let’s get this over with.”

“You want to be rid of me already?” Emmanuel asked, rising to his full height. “I’m hurt.”

Elrick chose not to respond, rising slowly from the throne and walking toward Emmanuel with purpose. “Give me your hand,” he commanded. 

Emmanuel did as he was bid, offering him his hand, palm up.

Elrick tried not to stare at the length of his fingers or the sheer size of Emmanuel’s hand compared to his own. He also definitely did not stop breathing, nor was his heart racing wildly in his chest. He was the picture of grace and ease as he reached forward, pressing a single razor sharp fingernail into Emmanuel’s palm until the older man’s blood bubbled forth. 

“Say your oath,” Elrick said, “bind yourself to the magical realm as its servant for all the rest of your days.” He released Emmanuel’s palm, waving his hand in the space between them to produce the Key Keeper alter. “Bind your blood to the keepers before you.”

Emmanuel lowered his hand to the altar, pressing his palm flat against it. 

“I bind myself to the magical realm, to magic itself, as a keeper of secrets and the keys to the kingdom. I give myself as a servant, willing magic to use me as it pleases for the good of the realm,” Emmanuel recited. 

The altar glowed beneath his touch, accepting his bloodied handprint into the catalogue of Key Keepers that was kept by the realm. 

“And so you are bound,” Elrick said. 

Emmanuel raised his eyes from the altar, lifting his hand and turning it over. “Consano,” he said, healing the wound Elrick had given him. The skin of his palm smooth again.

“Great job,” Emmanuel smiled, reaching out to pat Elrick on the shoulder. “I would never have known this was your first time.”

Elrick glanced at where Emmanuel’s hand was on his arm, literally touching him. Other than family members, touching like this was now allowed. Even something so innocent as this. 

Emmanuel had to have known that, but he did it anyway

“Emmanuel,” Elrick said, his voice a low rumble of warning. 

“Elrick,” Emmanuel responded in kind. 

A soft, breathy gasp escaped his lips. No one outside of his parents and Adorara had ever called him by his first name. 

Emmanuel chuckled. “Are you surprised by my disrespect, my prince?” he teased.

Elrick’s mouth went dry. He had no idea how to respond. Etiquette dictated that he should punish Emmanuel for this, but…

“Why hasn’t the low-born reprimanded you?” Elrick demanded, eyeing the low-born Maravalle curiously. 

“Is that what you want?” Emmanuel questioned. “For Adrien to reprimand me?” 

Elrick turned his gaze back up to Emmanuel. 

“Have I offended you so greatly that you would have someone of my own blood remove me from your presence?” Emmanuel pressed.

Elrick watched him, in silence for a long moment. 

“No,” he admitted. 

“Then what do you want, your highness?” 

“For you to answer my question,” Elrick snapped. “Why has the low born not…put a stop to this?” He wasn’t comfortable in engaging in this type of behavior with a supervisor present. 

“I bribed him,” Emmanuel said, shifting nervously. “Is that okay?”

“Why?” Elrick asked, surprised. 

“Have you seen yourself?” Emmanuel asked, gesturing to Elrick’s body. 

Elrick narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What were you expecting to…get out of this? Bribing our supervisor?” 

Emmanuel shrugged. “ You . I wanted to see you.”

“Why me?” Elrick asked. “Of everyone else you could’ve—”

“Do you remember when we first met?” Emmanuel interrupted. 

Elrick blinked up at him in surprise. “No,” he answered honestly. He honestly thought this was the first time they had ever met each other. 

“It was when you and Lucian met formally for the first time,” Emmanuel said. “You probably don’t remember it because we were all so young. I think you and Lucian were seven at the time, but I remember.”

“What does this have to do with—” Emmanuel pressed one of his long, slender fingers to Elrick’s lips to quiet him. 

“Lucian had been so nervous about meeting you. Meeting the royal you’re supposed to be bound to for eternity or until one of you dies is not an easy thing to do,” Emmanuel continued. “We’d heard things about you and your family all our lives. How dangerous and calculating you all were, but…you were different.”

Elrick shifted in front of him, still silenced by Emmanuel’s finger pressed to his lips. Normally, this slight would be punishable by death, but Elrick had never been as uptight as his family tried to raise him to be. 

“Lucian couldn’t see it then,” Emmanuel said. “I’m not sure she can even see it now, but I noticed. You’re not at all like your family. And I wanted the chance to see… you .” He lowered his hand from Elrick’s lips, indicating that the other man could speak again if he wanted to. 

“And?” Elrick asked. “Did I surprise you?”

“Yes,” Emmanuel admitted. 

Elrick wanted to ask how, he wanted to know what Emmanuel had expected him to react to the things he’d said to him, but the giant door to the throne room opened with a loud creaking noise and the two of them jumped apart. 

ii. here we go again

Elrick Bhuvanesh was nineteen and in his second year of university when he saw Emmanuel again. 

After their brief encounter a few years ago, Elrick had tried to put Emmanuel out of his mind, but there was no denying the raw attraction between them. He’d never have someone pay him so much attention. 

So, seeing him there in the lobby of his apartment building had been a surprise to say the least. 

“Emmanuel,” Elrick said, approaching him. 

The days of adult supervision were behind them now, since he’d turned eighteen and moved to Manhattan. Now he and Emmanuel could be completely alone without anyone to bribe. The idea of that thrilled him more than it should have.

“Elrick,” Emmanuel said, surprised. “What are you doing here?” 

“I…live here,” Elrick responded, as if it should have been obvious. This was the best magic friendly building on the Upper East Side. Plus, his family owned it.

“Oh, uh,” Emmanuel glanced around the building nervously. “I guess I should’ve expected that.”

Emmanuel seemed so different than the last time they’d met. He was more anxious and twitchy, his eyes scanning the lobby around them. 

“Who are you looking for?” Elrick asked. 

“My sister. And her roommate. I’m helping them move in today,” Emmanuel answered, distracted. 

“Luciana is moving here?” Elrick questioned, scanning the lobby as well. 

Emmanuel stilled for a moment, his gaze finally settling on Elrick’s face. He raised his eyebrow as if to ask ‘you expected her to live somewhere else’?

Elrick was annoyed at himself for even asking. Of course Lucian would be living here. “Who is her roommate?” he asked, changing the subject. “Another Maravalle?”

Emmanuel looked uncomfortable and he chewed the inside of his cheek nervously. “Do you remember the last time we saw each other?” he asked. “When I became a Key Keeper? Officially.”

“I…” Elrick went still. Of course he remembered, their conversation had been so strange and sexually charged, but he didn’t know if he should just…tell Emmanuel that or if he should play coy. 

Emmanuel didn’t wait for his answer. Instead, he stepped into Elrick’s space, his hand coming up to grip his chin forcefully. “Take me upstairs,” Emmanuel whispered. 

Elrick made a pitiful, needy sound. He’d been thinking about this moment since Emmanuel left the palace that day. What could have happened between them if they’d had more time alone. 

Emmanuel chuckled down at him. “Could you at least try to act like a high blood? I know I’m hot, but damn. I’m nothing compared to you or your betrothed.” 

“Don’t command me to take you upstairs and mention Adorara in the same breath,” Elrick snapped.

“I’m not commanding anything of you, my prince. I wouldn’t dream of giving a high blood orders. Not me, a lowly Maravalle,” Emmanuel purred.

“Don’t act so innocent,” Elrick snorted. “Not when you’ve already disrespected me so openly.”

“Oh, but you like it when I disrespect you, Elrick ,” Emmanuel teased. “Or you wouldn’t let me do it so much.”

“Don’t tell me what I like,” Elrick said softly, a little thrill going through his body at the sound of his name on Emmanuel’s lips. 

Emmanuel hummed thoughtfully. “How about you don’t act like you’re the one in control here, Bhuvanesh.” 

Elrick swallowed hard, biting back a low, needy groan. He shouldn’t be acting like this, especially not in public. There were royals and low-class magical creatures alike lounging around the lobby. Any of them could see them, standing there so close together, Emmanuel gripping his chin and smirking down at him. 

He could have Emmanuel killed for this. For treating him so familiarly. For even uttering his common name. He was supposed to address him by his title. Always . Unless it was impossible to do so without giving them away to the mortal realm. Even then, he should only use his first name. To debase him so completely was dangerous.

“See?” Emmanuel smirked. “Told you, you liked it.”

Elrick huffed, pushing Emmanuel’s hand away and taking a step back. “You’re playing with fire, Maravalle.” 

Emmanuel honest-to-God chuckled at him, crossing his long, spindly arms over his broad chest. “Then walk away, your highness,” he shrugged. “Makes no difference to me.”

Elrick clenched his fists by his side, closing his eyes tight for a for moments and taking several deep breaths to calm down. It wasn’t every day he was so…bothered by a middle blood. Emmanuel had been under his skin for several years now, though. And he didn’t think that was going to change anytime soon. 

He fished his keys out of his pocket and removed his spare, stepping forward and back into Emmanuel’s space. He pressed the spare key into Emmanuel’s palm. “Tell Luciana I say hello,” he said, glaring up at Emmanuel, daring him to disobey. 

Instead, the older man smirked, his hand closing around the key. “I am going to eat you alive,” he purred. 

Elrick took a deep, shaky breath, eyelids fluttering. “I look forward to it.” 

iii. a midnight visitor

Emmanuel made him wait for hours

Elrick shouldn’t be annoyed by that, considering he said he was helping Luciana move…but he was. If Emmanuel had all that time to waste teasing him in the lobby, surely he had time to come up here and make good on his promises. 

When Emmanuel did finally decide to grace Elrick with his presence, it was well past midnight and Elrick had given up on him showing up altogether. He assumed at that point, Emmanuel had just been fucking with him and he’d get his spare key back in the mail. 

Then he would proceed to pretend nothing had ever happened between them to save himself the embarrassment of having to explain to his mother the reason he wanted to have Emmanuel Maravalle murdered. 

Emmanuel did not knock. He used the spare key and entered Elrick’s apartment like he belonged there. He was newly showered, smelling of grapefruit and rose infused soap. The scent was so strong, Elrick could smell him from across the room. 

He wrinkled his nose. 

Emmanuel eyed him with an amused expression, closing his front door behind him and stepping into Elrick’s enormous living room. “Have you been waiting for me all this time?” he asked. 

Elrick narrowed his eyes, leaning back against his overstuffed couch. “No,” he said, petulant as ever. “I have other things to worry about than whether or not you were going to grace me with your presence this evening.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Emmanuel smirked, making his way over to the couch. He was dressed in a loose-fitting green v-neck and what appeared to be his sister Luciana’s sweatpants considering how tight and short they were on his legs. 

“Are you wearing your sister’s sweatpants?” Elrick asked, changing the subject. 

“I am,” Emmanuel said, doing a little spin before he plopped down on the couch right next to Elrick. “Do you like them?” 

“Why?” Elrick questioned, preferring not to answer Emmanuel’s question. Of course he liked them. They fit him well despite being a little too short. They also left…very little to the imagination. 

“I literally helped my sister move into her new apartment today. Which means I was carrying boxes from the street to the elevator and into her apartment. Sooo…” he trailed off, smirking. “I didn’t think you’d want me to come up here all covered in sweat.” He leaned a little closer to Elrick. “I thought you’d want us to get all sweaty together.”

“What exactly do you think is going to happen here?” Elrick asked, backing away from Emmanuel and studying his face. 

“Are you really asking me that right now, Elrick?” Emmanuel sighed, reaching out to stroke his hand over Elrick’s cheek. “Haven’t we played enough games?” 

Elrick leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering closed. “Can’t you let me at least…pretend to resist you?” 

“No,” Emmanuel whispered, so close Elrick could feel his breath on his lips. “We’re done with that. I’ve been waiting almost two whole years to do this. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Elrick scoffed, eyes opening again. “Like you made me wait for hou —”

“Shut up , Elrick,” Emmanuel groaned, grabbing his face and crashing their mouths together.

Elrick immediately panicked, pushing Emmanuel away. 

Emmanuel looked surprised. “Oh my god,” he said, holding up his hands apologetically. “I’m sorry. I thought…did I misread this entire situation? I didn’t mean to…you invited me up here…I…”

“No! I want this…you just…” Elrick stammered. “My teeth , Emmanuel. I could hurt you!” 

“Is that all?” Emmanuel deadpanned.

“I don’t…I don’t want to make you bleed,” Elrick gasped. It was something he worried about constantly. Considering his first few kisses hadn’t exactly gone…according to plan. 

Emmanuel sighed with relief, smirking mischievously. “What if I want you to hurt me?” He closed the space between them again, peppering Elrick’s face with kisses. “Your teeth don’t scare me. I fully expect you to use them.” 

“I could kill you,” Elrick argued. 

“I’m a Maravalle,” Emmanuel said. “I’m impossible to kill.” 

“But…” 

Emmanuel put his finger over Elrick’s lips to silence him. “Do you want to keep making excuses, or do you want to have some fun?” 

Elrick didn’t respond, instead he pulled Emmanuel back toward him, kissing him roughly.

Emmanuel hummed happily into his mouth, pushing the younger man back on the couch until he lay on top of him.  

Elrick readjusted himself beneath him, trying to get into a more comfortable position so he wasn’t bent at an odd angle. When he couldn’t quite lay like he wanted, he whined pitifully. 

“God,” Emmanuel breathed, pulling away and grabbing Elrick by his hips, adjusting him so Emmanuel knelt between his legs. “You’re such a needy little slut.” 

Elrick’s mouth fell open in surprise. No one had ever called him something like that.

“Don’t act so surprised,” Emmanuel smirked, pinning Elrick’s arms over his head as he leaned down to kiss him again. “I told you I was going to demolish you,” he said between kisses. “I’m going to fuck you so good you’re ruined for everyone else.” 

He bucked his hips against Elrick abruptly, making the younger man gasp into his mouth. 

“I’m going to make you mine, Elrick Bhuvanesh,” Emmanuel growled, pulling away from his lips to nip at his throat. “I am going to be all you think about.” 

“You already are ,” Elrick admitted, moaning as Emmanuel sucked on his throat hard , rolling the flesh between his teeth. “If you’re trying to mark me, you’ll have to bite harder than that.” 

“Do you want me to mark you?” Emmanuel asked, peppering kisses along Elrick’s jaw. “I have an iron brand I could burn into your skin if that’s what you’re into.”

Elrick shivered violently beneath him and curled his toes. 

Emmanuel chuckled. “Do you want me to hurt you?” he whispered, nipping at his pointed ear. 

Please ,” Elrick begged. 

“I knew I was going to enjoy this,” Emmanuel responded, hastily pulling Elrick’s shirt over his head and using it to loosely bind his hands above his head. Then, he pulled an iron brand of the Maravalle’s family crest out of his pocket.

“I didn’t know you lot had those,” Elrick admitted. “Aren’t iron brands outlawed?” 

“I’m the magical realm, sure,” Emmanuel said, “But humans have no idea the fae even exist. So they aren’t bound by your laws.”

He lowered the brand to Elrick’s stomach, the iron hovering just barely above his skin. 

Elrick could already feel the heat of the metal against his skin. The muscles in his stomach jerked involuntarily. 

“Tell me to knock it the fuck off if I actually hurt you, yeah?” Emmanuel instructed. 

“Yeah,” Elrick nodded, watching as Emmanuel pressed the brand hard against his skin. 

Elrick wasn’t sure what he expected to feel. He’d been burned by iron before, sometimes it was unavoidable and the pain was almost always excruciating. And it took nearly an entire day for it to heal completely, but this was different. 

The pain was still there, biting into his skin. He could literally smell his flesh cooking beneath it, but it was somehow less severe than the last time he’d unwittingly burned himself on an iron sword. 

“Was that okay?” Emmanuel asked, moving the brand away from his skin. 

“Do it again,” Elrick pleaded immediately. 

Emmanuel branded his chest this time and Elrick didn’t think he’d ever been more turned on than he was in that moment. 

“Are you okay, Elrick?” Emmanuel asked. 

Elrick was more than okay. He was…euphoric. His head was clouded with lust and endorphins and Emmanuel goddamn Maravalle was marking him with his family crest. 

“I’ve imagined this so much,” Elrick said, opening his eyes to look at Emmanuel. “Ever since that day two years ago.”

“And what do I do to you when you imagine this?” Emmanuel asked, pocketing the brand and leaning down to press soft kisses to Elrick’s chest. 

“You’ve already surpassed my imagination,” Elrick admitted.

Emmanuel hummed softly, nipping at Elrick’s belly. “Surely there’s something you want me to do that I haven’t already done.” 

Elrick took a shaky breath, his face flushing with embarrassment. “Having you here…” he began, voice shaky. “Is more than enough for me.”

“God, you’re such sappy little shit, aren’t you?” Emmanuel growled, biting his stomach harder, right next to the brand he’d burned into his skin. 

Elrick whined and rolled his hips.

“Tell me what you want, or I’m going to roll you over right now and fuck you so hard you’ll be sobbing when I’m done,” Emmanuel growled.

Elrick smirked down at him. “What if that’s exactly what I want?” 

Emmanuel moaned. “You’re such a little shit, you know that?” he asked. 

“But you like it,” Elrick retorted. 

“Don’t tell me what I like,” Emmanuel smirked, grabbing his hips and flipping him over to lay on his stomach as if he weighed nothing at all. 

Elrick gasped in surprise. “Are all you Maravalle’s this strong or just you?” 

Emmanuel laughed, loud and full-bellied. “ Please , Elrick. You weigh 90 pounds. My grandmother could throw you across the room and she has a bad back.”

Elrick glared back at him. “I weigh well over that and you know it. I’m not scrawny , Emmanuel.”

Emmanuel raked his eyes over Elrick’s body. “Coulda fooled me,” he said.

Elrick rolled his eyes. “Shut up and fuck me ,” he barked. 

Emmanuel sat back on his haunches. “I think you’re forgetting who is in charge here,” he smirked. “Lest you forget, I’m the one on top of you .”

“Only because I’ve allowed it,” Elrick growled in response. “Don’t act like I couldn’t kill you if I wanted.” 

Emmanuel laughed again. “You wouldn’t dare. None of you Bhuvanesh do any of your own dirty work. That’s why you have the Maravalle. To do all your killing for you.”

Elrick was up in an instant, unbound with his hand on Emmanuel’s throat. “I am so much stronger than you are, Maravalle,” he said, darkly, tossing Emmanuel down on the couch and mounting him. “You think you could hold me down if I didn’t want you to?” 

He could feel Emmanuel’s cock jerk against his belly through the thin sweatpants the older man wore. 

“You wouldn’t even be alive if I didn’t will it,” Elrick growled. “I could kill you right here, right now with a flick of my wrist. It would mean nothing to me.”

Emmanuel shuddered and groaned. 

“You’re my play thing,” Elrick continued, enjoying the effect he was having on Emmanuel. He reached down between them, palming Emmanuel’s cock. It twitched against his hand and Emmanuel sighed, tilting his head back. 

Elrick’s mouth watered at the sight of Emmanuel’s long slender neck exposed to him. God, this man was going to be the death of him. 

Anyone else would be scared shitless right now, but Emmanuel? He was turned on . Elrick was literally threatening to kill him and he was practically leaking pre-cum into his boxers. 

“It should be illegal for someone to have a throat so…” he gestured vaguely. 

“Just wait until I use it to swallow your cock,” Emmanuel responded, shit eating grin on his face. 

The mouth on him. 

Emmanuel pushed Elrick back down onto the couch, and unbuttoned his jeans, yanking both his jeans and pants off in one go. 

Elrick swallowed hard as Emmanuel drank him in, eyes lingering on his cock as he licked his lips. 

“Is this okay?” Elrick asked, suddenly self-conscious beneath his gaze. “I can…change it if you want.” 

“It’s perfect,” Emmanuel said. “You’re perfect.” He leaned down and kissed him again, soft and slow this time. 

Elrick leaned up into the kiss, sighing into Emmanuel’s mouth. 

Emmanuel rolled beside him on the couch, gripping his length in his hand and using his thumb to spread pre-cum over the tip slowly. 

Elrick sighed and rolled his hips. “Haven’t I had enough teasing for a lifetime?” he asked. 

“Not nearly,” Emmanuel responded, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. 

“God, I hate you,” Elrick complained. 

“You won’t when I finally make you cum all over this nice couch,” Emmanuel responded in kind.

Elrick moaned in response, bucking up into Emmanuel’s hand. “If you don’t hurry up and fuck me I might just cum all over your hand,” he hissed. 

“Do it and I’ll never fuck you again,” Emmanuel threatened. 

A little thrill went through Elrick. So this wasn’t just a one time thing? 

Emmanuel released his length and Elrick groaned, cracking his eyes open to watch him. He was rummaging in the pocket of Lucian’s sweatpants again, pulling out a key, the brand, and another set of keys and tossing them on the table. 

“What are you looking for?” Elrick asked.

“Lube and a condom,” Emmanuel responded, pulling a small tube of it out of his pocket and presenting both it and a condom to Elrick triumphantly. 

“I also have lube, you know,” Elrick responded. “You didn’t have to bring you own.”

“Why would you need lube?” Emmanuel teased. “Aren’t you a virgin or something?”

Elrick snorted. “Hardly.”

Emmanuel smirked, kissing him sweetly. “See? I knew you were a little slut.”

Elrick laughed.

“But I’m about to ruin you for everyone else,” Emmanuel purred, reaching down between his legs and circling his anus with his newly lubed fingers. 

Elrick swallowed, his eyes slipping closed as he concentrated on the feeling of Emmanuel teasing him there . His finger circling and spreading lube between his thighs, massaging him open. 

“You’re so good,” Emmanuel breathed into his ear, leaning up to kiss and nip at his throat. He pressed the tip of his finger inside of him.

Elrick tensed at the unfamiliar sensation, taking a shaky breath. Relax , he willed himself, letting the tension fade from his body. 

Emmanuel kissed his forehead, his cheek, his mouth. He pressed his finger further inside. 

“Am I your first guy?” Emmanuel asked, moving a second lube soaked finger to press against Elrick’s opening. 

“No,” Elrick answered honestly. 

Emmanuel made a contemplative noise, rephrasing his question, “Am I your first guy like this?” He wiggled his finger pointedly.

Elick swallowed, his cheeks flushing red. “Yes,” he answered. 

Emmanuel buried his face in his neck and sighed happily. “I knew you’d wait for me,” he teased. 

“Shut up,” Elrick blushed. “I was—”

“Just let me have this,” Emmanuel said. 

No ,” Elrick responded, but he stopped arguing all the same. 

Emmanuel pressed a second finger inside of him and he gasped, his breath coming faster as he willed himself not to tense up.

The sensation was so foreign to him. He’d never had someone inside of him like this. It was almost overwhelming considering how long he had waited for whatever this flirtation between them was to come to fruition. 

When Emmanuel got the second finger inside of him fully, he spread his two fingers apart, opening Elrick up more. 

The sensation had him bucking his hips and clenching his eyes shut tight. His teeth were set on edge, a thrill of pleasure rushing over him. He hadn’t expected this to be so intense

“Easy there, your highness,” Emmanuel said, “don’t get too excited yet.”

“Don’t call me that when you have your fingers inside of me,” Elrick complained. “Or it’s all I’ll think about the next time someone addresses me like they supposed to.”

“Oh I’m counting on it, highness,” Emmanuel chuckled. 

“I hate you,” Elrick sighed. 

Emmanuel pressed a third finger into him. 

“Jesus,” Elrick shuddered. He hadn’t expected that. It took all of his willpower not to cum right then and there. 

Emmanuel curled his fingers inside of him, spreading him nice and wide. “You like that, my prince?” He asked. “You like feeling me inside you?”

Yes, ” Elrick said without hesitation. 

He had never been with someone so vocal during sex. Most of his partners had been quiet, but Emmanuel talked so much . Elrick was embarrassed by how much he liked it. 

“I think you’re ready so I’m gonna slide my fingers out now, okay?” Emmanuel said, voice low and filled with lust. 

Yes ,” Elrick answered. He’d been waiting for Emmanuel to fuck him for hours. It felt like it took a literal lifetime for them to get to this point. 

Emmanuel slid his fingers out slowly, standing up from the couch to shimmy out of his sister’s sweatpants and pull his shirt over his head, tossing them both to the floor. 

He was bigger than Elrick expected, thicker too. 

“Is there a problem, my prince?” Emmanuel asked playfully. 

“Of course not,” Elrick answered. “I’m just surprised is all. Sit down so I can fuck you.”

Emmanuel chuckled softly. “You won’t be fucking anyone,” he teased. “I’ll be fucking you.” He lowered himself back down onto the couch, unwrapping the condom sliding it down over his length. 

“Come on, then.” he said, helping Elrick into his lap. 

“Finally,” Elrick sighed, gripping the base of Emmanuel’s cock as he lowered himself down onto it slowly. He pressed his forehead into the older man’s throat as he took in his length. 

“You can bite if you need to,” Emmanuel whispered against his ear. “I know how overwhelming this can be the first time. I’ve bottomed before.” 

Elrick moaned wantonly against his throat. “I hope you’ll bottom for me sometime.” 

Emmanuel chuckled warmly. “Not a chance, your highness.” 

Elrick groaned and sank down on him completely, pressing his face into Emmanuel’s shoulder, sucking gently at his skin. 

Emmanuel gripped his hips and moaned loud into his ear, fucking up into him in short, tight strokes. 

Elrick made a sobbing noise, digging his nails into the couch behind Emmanuel’s back. 

“Bite me,” Emmanuel said. 

“I’m not supposed to,” Elrick responded, pulling away to study Emmanuel’s face. 

“You’re also not supposed to be fucking someone you’re not betrothed to,” Emmanuel said, smirking. “And yet here we are.” He thrust up into him again, gripping his hips harder and building a rhythm. 

“I…” Elrick blushed, “Do you really want me to bite you?” 

“Yes,” Emmanuel said. “The idea of you sinking your sharp ass teeth into my throat is fucking hot , dude.”

Elrick shivered. “You might pass out from blood loss,” he said.

“I’m a necromancer, Elrick,” Emmanuel deadpanned. “And a Maravalle at that. I think I’ll be fine .” 

“You can’t raise yourself from the dead, idiot,” Elrick responded. 

“Yeah, well. My sister is right downstairs,” Emmanuel chuckled. 

“I do not want to have to explain to your sister why you passed out naked in my apartment from blood loss,” Elrick groaned. 

“She’s bonded to you,” Emmanuel responded. “It’s not like she could tell anyone.”

“Yes, but she would know. And I don’t know if you’ve met your sister, but I would never hear the end of it,” Elrick complained. 

“Alright,” Emmanuel said, grabbing Elrick by the back of the neck and flinking him face down onto the couch. “If you’re not gonna bite me…” he trailed off, pushing Elrick’s face down into the couch cushions. “I’m gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop.”

He pushed himself back inside of Elrick, not bothering to let the younger man adjust this time. He snapped his hips quickly, fucking him hard and fast. 

Elrick bit the couch cushion to keep himself from screaming. He wouldn’t dare give Emmanuel the satisfaction of seeing him so undone by his cock. 

“Is this better, Your highness?” Emmanuel hissed, his long body draped over him as he fucked him into the couch. “Is this what you wanted?” Emmanuel’s hands were on either side of Elrick’s head as he fucked into him hard

The feeling was indescribable. Emmanuel’s cock filled him so completely that every thrust sent waves of immeasurable pleasure through his entire body. 

He was half out of his mind, head turned as he gasped for breath. Broken, needy moans escaped his lips and he gripped the couch for dear life. The way he was bent beneath Emmanuel was starting to hurt , but he didn’t dare try to readjust. He could take a little pain in exchange for all the pleasure. 

Emmanuel pressed down on his lower back, bending him further down into the couch cushions, his cock hitting exactly where Elrick needed him. 

Elrick whined, his toes curling. “Yes, yes, yes ,” he panted. “ Yes .” He arched up into Emmanuel, pressing needly little kisses to the older man’s wrist. 

“You feel so good,” Emmanuel groaned, his thrusts falling out of rhythm as he got close. 

Elrick smirked into the couch. “I thought you said you were going to fuck me until I begged you to stop,” he teased. “And you’re already close.” 

“Shut up you little shit,” Emmanuel panted, grabbing a fistful of Elrick’s hair and pulling him up off the couch. “I can finish whenever I want.”

“Yes, but I thought you wanted to pleasure me,” Elrick goaded. 

“You’re such an insufferable little asshole,” Emmanuel moaned, gripping Elrick’s thigh and stilling his hips. He was breathing heavily, his whole body trembling. 

“Are you tired already?” Elrick smirked, “I’m so disappointed .” 

Emmanuel growled and reached around him, pulling him back so he was almost flush against Emmanuel’s chest. He wrapped his hand around Elrick’s cock, jerking him off as he fucked up into him slow and shallow. 

The angle was awkward, but Elrick was hardly paying much attention to that. He bucked up into Emmanuel’s hand. He’d been close before he started teasing Emmanuel about not lasting, but now he was—

His hips jerked violently as he came over Emmanuel’s hand after barely even a handful of strokes. 

Emmanuel groaned into his ear. “You were close this whole time making me feel bad for not being able to keep up with you. God you’re such a little shit.” He moved his hand from Elrick’s cock wiped his cum on his belly. Then, he reached up and gripped Elrick’s throat, squeezing just enough to make his head spin as he began to move his hips again.

Elrick made a noise of protest, still overstimulated from his orgasm. 

“No,” Emmanuel said. “You don’t get to protest. You’re the one who came first.”

Elrick whined pitifully, rolling his hips lazily against Emmanuel’s cock. 

“God you’re so hot like this. All sleepy and spent,” Emmanuel gasped, pressing sloppy open-mouthed kisses against Elrick’s back and shoulders. 

Elrick made a soft keening noise in reply. His head was still spinning from his orgasm, stars floating behind his eyelids. He’d never come so hard before in his life

Emmanuel wrapped his arm around his waist, his thrusts picking up again as Elrick started to come down from his high. 

“You’re such a mess,” Emmanuel moaned, fucking him harder. His thrusts became erratic and out of sync again. “God, I’m close.”

“Then finish,” Elrick said. 

“What? No more teasing?” Emmanuel gasped, hips jerking. He finished with a long, low grown against Elrick’s back. 

“No teasing necessary, it seems,” Elrick answered, smirking at him over his shoulder. 

“Shut up and get off of me,” Emmanuel laughed. 

Elrick complied, standing up from the couch. His stomach was covered in cum from where Emmanuel has used it as his own personal cum rag. Not to mention his ass was dripping with lube. He also still had Maravalle brands burned into his stomach and chest. He’d almost forgotten about those. 

How long had they been doing this? He didn’t even want to know. 

“I need to shower immediately,” Elrick said, gathering his long hair up into a messy high bun. “You can…stay if you want. I have a guest room or…”

Emmanuel stood up from the couch, joints cracking as he stretched. “Of course I’m staying, you idiot,” he leaned down to press a quick, chaste kiss to Elrick’s lips. “And I’ll be sleeping in your bed. I don’t know what you thought this was, but I actually like you, Bhuvanesh.”

Elrick stared up at him. “Okay,” he said. 

“Is that all you have to say?” Emmanuel asked. 

“If you wanted me to tell you, I like you too, I’m not going to,” Elrick smirked, grabbing a hair tie from his coffee table and using it to hold his hair in place. 

“Then I don’t have to stay here,” Emmanuel threatened. 

“You’re right, you don’t,” Elrick said, turning and sort of walking, sort of waddling to the bathroom. 

Emmanuel followed after him. “Come on, man,” he said. “I told you I liked you. And you can’t return the favor?”

“No,” Elrick responded, disappearing into his bathroom and turning his shower on. 

“Because it’s not true?” Emmanuel asked, voice quiet. 

“No,” Elrick said, smiling sadly at him.. “Because it is .” He left the ‘and I’m supposed to marry someone else’ unsaid.

Red Wine

Her large pink plastic earrings clicked against her sunglasses as she walked fast into the room holding a huge bottle of red wine.  The other agents that had been in the room stopped talking for a minute and gazed over at her, some of them even allowing their jaws to drop open.

What!?” She shrieked, grabbing a corkscrew from one of the kitchen drawers and twisting it into the cork at the top of the bottle.  

“Dess…” Someone said from near her, sounding concerned.

“Not now, Kura,” Dess responded harshly, reaching up and ripping the short black wig off of her head and tossing it onto the granite counter top.  

“Is everything alright?” Kura asked, obviously oblivious to Desdemona’s foul mood.  Dess growled, yanking the cork out of the bottle and taking a big swig.  The liquid went down hot, but not burning hot like other liquors.  

“Did your mission go okay?” Kura asked, jumping a little when Dess slammed the bottle back down on the counter top.  

“Does it look like my mission went okay?” Desdemona shrieked, her brown hair falling out of its place on top of her head.  Kura swallowed hard, looking around at the others who were now busying themselves with whatever they currently had in front of them.

“Uh,” Kura said nervously, backing away from the extremely pissed off woman in front of her.  

Huh!?” Dess shrieked, spit flying from her mouth as she reached for the bottle again, taking another long swig.  

“No,” the girl squeaked, turning around and running out of the room.

“Pssh,” Dess said watching her run out before taking another swig from the bottle.

“Now that wasn’t very nice,” a male voice sounded from behind her, Dess whirled around and faced John, the most annoying agent ever to make it into AFTER.

“John,” she said, trying to sound annoyed, but it came out more surprised.  She swallowed, her throat feeling a little dry, probably due to the alcohol.  

“I think you should go and apologize,” John said, reaching out and taking the bottle of wine out of her hand.  Dess growled at him and reached out to take it back.  He held it away from her with a smirk on his face.  She snorted and crossed her arms across her chest, grinding her teeth together in annoyance.

“And if I don’t?” She asked, eyes narrowing.

“I’ll dump your whole bottle of wine here,” he said, bringing it to his lips to take a sip from the bottle before continuing, “Mmm,” he said, swishing the liquid around in his mouth, “And it tastes expensive.”  Dess just rolled her eyes.

“Why should I care?” She said, leaning closer to him, breath reeking of alcohol (and not just red wine), “I stole it.” John smirked again.

“Tch, tch, tch,” he said, wagging his finger in her face, “What am I going to do with you? You’ve been so naughty today.”  Dess blinked, arching her eyebrow and willing herself not to blush at John’s obvious sexual tone.

“Pssh,” she said, clicking her tongue, “Like you’d do anything, you’re not my dad.” Dess reached out and grabbed the bottle out of John’s hand, walking past him slow, hips swaying and practically daring him to do something about her being naughty.

“Don’t tempt me,” he warned her, eyes practically glued to her perfectly peach shaped behind.

“Like, this?” She asked, taking another swig from the bottle and heading for the stairs.  When she got to the bottom of the staircase she turned back over her shoulder and blew him a kiss.  

“Told you,” she called back to him, “you’re not man enough to handle me.”  John took in a deep breath through his nostrils, rushing to the staircase behind her.  The look on Desdemona’s face when he stopped next to her was priceless.

“And I told you not to tempt me,” he growled, grabbing the bottle and tossing it almost casually over his shoulder.  Desdemona watched, mouth agape as the wine bottle shattered against the red carpet.

“That’s gonna st—” She shrieked as John grabbed her and flung her over his shoulder, climbing the stairs to the girl’s rooms.  

“I need to teach you some manners,” he hissed, stomping down the hall and yanking open the door to her bedroom.  Once inside, he slammed the door behind him, tossing her onto the bed roughly.  She screamed, grabbing at her white comforter.  

“I just made this bed!” She screamed, grabbing one of her fluffy feather pillows and throwing it at him.  John said nothing, advancing on her and pinning her beneath him.  

“I think someone needs a spanking,” he said, flipping her over beneath him effortlessly as if she were a rag doll.  

“Let go of me!” Dess screamed against the bed, struggling to free herself.

“No,” John said, sniggering a little as he pulled his hand back and brought it down to hit her rump hard.  Dess screamed again, begging him to stop.

“Are you going to apologize to Kura?” He asked.

“God no!” she responded, he smacked her rump hard again.  She screamed, hand clutching at the comforter.

“Are you?” he asked.

“Fine!” She yelled, “Fine I’ll tell her I’m sorry!”

“And?” He asked, smacking her again, but softer and more playful this time.

“AND!?” She shrieked, there was more that he wanted her to do?

“What about me?” He asked, “Are you going to tell me that you’re sorry?”

“In your dreams!” She responded, he chuckled and smacked her butt again, so hard that it echoed off the walls.  She screamed, tears coming to her eyes.

“You seem to be forgetting the kind of position you’re in right now, Dess,” he said, hitting her butt just soft enough so it would bounce slightly.

“Fine,” she whimpered, “I’m sorry, will you please stop now?” John chuckled again, leaning down so he was right next to her ear.

“Do you really want me to stop, Dess?” He asked, his breath hitting against her cheek softly.  She took in a sharp breath, body tensing beneath him.

“I have to apologize to Kura….” She whispered, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Do you really want to do that?” he whispered, brushing her hair away from her neck softly.  Beneath him, she shivered at this touch.

“I don’t know,” she said, whimpering softly as he kissed her neck. “m…maybe…”

“Are you sure?” He asked, kissing her neck again, this time sucking a little.

“You wanted me to,” she muttered as he reached beneath her, grabbing one of her breasts and squeezing gently.  

“Well, we’re kind of busy right now, aren’t we?” He asked, nibbling on her earlobe.  Dess moaned loudly.

“Yes,” she hissed.  Maybe this time…her mind trailed off, remembering the last time John had her in a position like this, bent over a table in the computer room.  He left before he could do anything that time.  

“Don’t stop this time,” she mewled.  

“I’m not going to,” he said seductively, moving off of her a little so he could force her onto her back.

“Promise me,” she begged as he practically tore her shirt off of her and tossed it onto the floor.

“Does it seem like I’m going to stop?” He asked, pulling her up into a sitting position and kissing her roughly.  She moaned into his mouth as he squeezed one of her breasts with one hand and undid her bra with the other.

“Don’t stop,” she breathed as he pulled away to take her bra off.  He chuckled a little bit.

“I’m not going to, Dess,” he whispered, kissing her collar bone gently before moving lower to take one of her nipples into his mouth.  

“A…ah,” Dess moaned, spreading her legs a little bit.

“Wet already?” He asked before touching his tongue to her other nipple, teasing it a little before taking that one into his mouth as well, running his tongue over it in circular motions.  Dess gripped the sheets and moaned even louder.

“You like that?” He asked, amused.

“Don’t. Stop,” she gasped.  He smirked, taking her other nipple into his mouth and licking it in the same circular motion.  Dess moaned again, reaching down and pushing her already short leather miniskirt up and rubbing her clit through her white lacey panties.

“Now, now, now,” John said, pulling back from her breasts, “That’s my job.”  Dess sighed softly as he moved her hand, unzipping her skirt and slowly pulling it down over her legs.  When he got to her feet, he stopped for a moment, contemplating.

“What?” Dess asked, sitting up a little and looking at him, “Why’d you stop?” 

“I think I like the shoes better on,” he whispered, pulling her skirt off the rest of the way and letting it fall to the floor.

“Shoe fetish?” She asked, amused.  John smirked at her, but didn’t answer, instead he spread her legs, fitting himself between them and started to plant soft kisses against her stomach.

“A..ah…” she breathed, tangling her fingers in his hair.  He kept kissing lower, rubbing his thumb against her clit softly.

“Harder,” she pleaded, bucking her hips, but he did not comply, teasing her.  She moaned louder the lower he got, her loudest moan being when he reached the top of her panties.   

He stopped for a minute, watching as she arched her back and bucked her hips again.  Then he started kissing even lower, planting a soft kiss against her through her panties.  Dess took in a sharp breath, back arching, hands gripping against her blanket.  

“You like that?” He asked, teasing her a little by flicking his tongue against her clit through her panties.  She mewled loudly, hips bucking.

“Please,” she begged, opening her legs wider.  He smirked, pulling her panties to the side before flicking his tongue against her bare clit.  She hissed beneath him, biting her lip and spreading her legs as wide as they could go.  

“Mmm,” he said, pulling away from her and yanking her panties off and over her sexy red and black stiletto heels.  

“J…John” she whimpered as he let her panties slide from his hand onto the floor.

“God, you’re so sexy” he whispered, gazing down at her body. 

“I…I’m ready,” she whispered, body tensing slightly at the idea of having sex for the first time.

“Shh, Dess,” he whispered back, pulling his shirt off and undoing his belt before leaning down and pressing his chest against hers.  She gasped, wrapping her arms around him. “You’ve got to relax,” he said against her throat, planting soft kisses.

“Mmph,” she whimpered, body relaxing a little.  John sighed, kissing against her shoulder and reaching down to undo his pants.  Dess tensed again as he kicked his shoes off and pulled his pants down a little ways.

“Dess,” he warned, “relax.”

“I’m scared,” she said as he pulled his pants down to his knees and pressed himself against her softly.  She whimpered a little, feeling him press against her through his cloth boxers.  

“Shh,” he told her, leaning and kissing her forehead gently, “it’s okay, Dess.” She whimpered a little when he pulled back and kicked his jeans off before pulling his boxers off slowly.  Dess swallowed as she watched him drop the boxers into the floor with the rest of their clothes.

“Ready?” He asked, pressing himself gently against her entrance.  She whimpered, gasping and tensing beneath him.

“Shh, Dess,” he said, leaning down to kiss her inner thigh.  She signed softly as he sucked on her skin.

“I want it,” she begged, “please.”  He stopped for a moment, looking up at her and smiling softly and slipping just the tip inside of her.  She whimpered and gasped.

“S…stop,” she begged, “for a second…please…i…it hurts.”  He stopped and waited for a few seconds before slipping farther inside of her.  She whimpered again, tears springing into her eyes.  He stopped again.

“Nnn…” she whimpered, “Keep going…” He pushed in deeper, stopping every time she made a noise like she was in pain.  

“Are you okay?” He asked, finally, almost breathless.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered, “it feels so…good…” He smiled, pulling out of her a little ways before going back in.  Beneath him, she moaned, wrapping her legs around his waist, heels digging into his back just slightly.  He bit his lip, thrusting a little faster inside of her.

“John,” she practically screamed, moving her hips in time with his thrusts.

“You’re so tight,” he whispered.  She moaned his name again, rocking her hips harder into him, heels digging into his back harder.  He wasn’t sure how much longer…he sighed, pressing his face into her shoulder and biting down on her skin.  She called his name again as he pulled out, coming on her stomach.

Dess sighed a little, watching as John reached for some Kleenex from her bed side table, wiping his cum off of her.  

“You don’t have to…” she whispered and he just smiled at her, wiping the rest of his cum off before leaning down and kissing her cheek.  She giggled a little bit, smiling softly.

“I…” she started, biting her lip.  

“What?” John asked, laying down next to her and brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

“Thanks…” she said, blushing a little at how stupid she must’ve sounded just then.  John laughed, gathering her into his arms and kissing her forehead.

“I love you, Dess,” he said softly, “I….I know it took me awhile to say it…” he started, but trailed off when Dess pressed her fingers to his lips.

“It’s okay,” she told him, “If it’s any consolation, I probably said it too soon.”  He smiled down at her, kissing the tips of her fingers.

“You were perfect, by the way,” she told him, snuggling her face into his chest.  He laughed a little bit.

“But you didn’t…” he started, but she hushed him again, this time with a kiss.  

“We’ll worry about that later,” she said, “right now…all I want is…” she kissed him again before snuggling her face into his shoulder.  He hugged her tighter, naked bodies pressed together tightly.

“I love you too, by the way,” she said, a little late.  He chuckled, running his fingers through her hair.  

“It’s okay,” he said, “I pretty much already knew.”

Star Wars: Zero Gravity (NSFW)

Pairing: Anakin/Padme 

Rating: M

Summary: A short zero grav smut drabble I wrote a few years ago.


They had been fighting when she followed him into his training chamber. She was a politician, a queen, he couldn’t expect her to be around more than she already was. He was always off on missions, it was difficult to be together. 

Inside the chamber, they continued their raised voices, Anakin was almost consumed by his emotions. He flipped the switch on the wall, removing the gravity from the chamber. 

“What are you doing?” She yelled, feeling her feet leave the ground, her skirt floating around her legs. Anakin grinned at her. 

“Sweeping you off your feet,” He says with a disarming grin. She glares at him.

“I’m still mad at you,” she says, crossing her arms as she floats helplessly through the air. But she couldn’t stop the smile that came as she watched Anakin float in zero gravity. 

“We don’t have time to be angry,” Anakin said, kicking off the wall and making his way towards her, flying through the room. They collided with one another and she yelped as he attempted to kiss her. 

His lips found hers easy enough and she laughed as they spun upside down, floating above the floor. He pulled her close to him, kisses becoming more passionate and insistent despite their laughter. 

Anakin tried desperately to keep the two of them together, his hands traveling across her back, and trying and failing to hike up her long skirt. For her part, Padme continued to laugh, but helped him by kicking away and slowly, whilst still spinning and flying in zero gravity, stripped off her clothing.

Anakin watched with interest as his wife struggled to remove her layers of skirts, shirts, and a variety of other things before she stared at him with a coy smile clad in nothing but her undergarments.

“You’re still clothed,” Padme said, sounding disappointed.  There were so few times she and Anakin got to enjoy each other like this.  She laughed when Anakin began to hastily strip his clothing off as well, turning every which direction as he tried to remove his boots.  

When he was naked before her, she eyed his body appreciatively.  Years of Jedi training had made him muscular and toned.  He watched her with a combination of lust and adoration in his eyes and she removed her last two garments, letting them float around them amongst the heap of other clothing.

Anakin held up his hand then, pulling Padme towards him.  Her body felt warm, her skin covered in goosebumps, and she could feel herself moving through space.  So there were other uses for The Force.  She smirked wickedly as he pressed his body against hers.

She lay her head against his chest, bringing her legs up to wrap around his waist.  She was closer to him than she had been previously, and neither were spinning.  She could still feel the power of the force over her, gently, but still present.  She supposed this was the only way they could do this without incident.  

He held her to him, his hands stroking over her ass and legs as she locked her ankles behind him.  Her body felt so lightweight and free, it was almost strange.

He slid into her with ease, and she felt the push and pull of his ability.  She felt like the tide, caught between Anakin and The Force as he made love to her.  He used one of his hands to pull her head back from his chest, pressing his lips to hers.

She felt lost in the sensations of him, of floating, of being pulled against his body.  He was sweating, moaning against her mouth, while she stayed still for him, her moans coming out in short pants of breath as he kissed her.

“Close,” he whispers to her and she’s so lost in the feeling of him she almost doesn’t recognize what the meaning of that word is.  She moves one of her hands from the back of his neck down her stomach and strokes herself so she can come with him.

And she does, body trembling and jerking as he moans her name against her throat.  Her body feels warm, boneless, and sated as he empties himself inside of her.  And she kisses him, short and chase as he comes down from his orgasm, her walls still fluttering around him from the aftershocks of her own.

“I love you,” he says against her lips.  She doesn’t even remember what they were fighting about.

v e r b a t i m

“close your eyes,” you tell me.
I’m so nervous I can’t stop trembling.

You never stopped there
they said you USED me
but I don’t want to listen to reason
I’m too stubborn for their truths.

You hold my hand
tell me to run away
{with you,} for you
I can’t say what you’ve said to me.
it’s all lies.

I write so the drugs will pass me by
YOU USED ME.

Say she isn’t angry now,
but my head is splitting and I can’t
FEEL anymore.
I’ve heard you lie so many times.

“Just you,” you say to me;
and like a SPOILED child I believed you.
You tell me “you’re amazing.”
but you don’t know them IMPACT of the words.

You’d tell me anything to use me again,
but as I see this far ahead the threats just aren’t WORTH it.
not with what you have to offer.

You pay me off
like I’m so cheap you can use me over and over.

It’s funny how you think you can trust them,
they’d rat you out in an instant while I struggle with these secrets.

For you I have been beaten and bruised,
yet you still laugh at my iniquity.
YOU WERE PART OF IT TOO.

Tell me why you are so clean,
tell me why you aren’t bleeding.

I feel so heavy, like lead.
the pressure is overwhelming.
I CAN’T BREATHE.

I’ve waited so long for a moment I can’t even remember,
It was everything and nothing to me
why can’t I remember how it felt?

You tell me I’m crazy,
but you’ve NEVER seen these words.
I can’t let go of this anger and pain…
everyone would be so suspicious of what happened.

Even when I speak to you I can’t get it out.
you have the NERVE to ask me why I’m crying
you knew I could never make it.

You tell me I’m being “overly dramatic”
but when there’s so much inside that I can’t get out

TELL ME
that you wouldn’t die too.

s o m a n y t h i n g s l e f t u n s a i d;
you’d think I was speaking in another language.
this is how I speak.

In your stupidity you don’t know how much it hurts
I never lied to you when I told you it was d i f f e r e n t for me. 

Video Game Mockaries: Dating My Daughter Part 4

NSFW Warning

There are no words to describe how I feel in the wake of posting this. So many new fans have risen from the ashes to yell at us for not posting the next part of this debauchery. 

I’m Des, that’s 13 and this is Jack Ass. 

Dedicated to kuresoto

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Me: I hope you remember how much I care about you
Thirteen: ??
Me: Because I’m bout to fuck your shit up, nerd.
Thirteen:  Oh noOOOO IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN 
Me: Where do we go?
Thirteen: Jesus. Nowhere is good.
Thirteen:  Like what could possibly even happen in the bathroom?
Thirteen: That we want to see 
Thirteen: We know the bedroom is basically Ground Zero and we’ve exhausted the couch. So to speak. 
Thirteen:  Like what would a good, non-creepy dad do? NONE OF THESE THINGS.
Me:  I mean maybe Lolita has to pee? 
Thirteen: Why do we need to be there for it though. (Fuckin. Was watersports on the kink list? …did I ask that? I feel like I did.) 
Me: Or poop? She did eat a lot of pizza. (You did, and it is not).
Thirteen:  so much she cOULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE AHAHAHA 
Thirteen:  Okay well. I guess it’s…slightly…less terrifying…than Ground Zero.

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Me: We’ve somehow ended up back on the couch. Even though I chose bathroom. 
Thirteen: Ugh. It IS getting creepy how they keep insistently referring to it as a date. 
Thirteen: Like I talk with my mom about making plans for a date so we can go hit up thrift stores and shit but like. We only say that like, once. 
Me: I feel like this is more acceptable between you and your mom since you know…you’ve seen each other like almost every day since your birth.

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Lolita: Or thirty. Please tell me you have matches?
Thirteen: Or, forever. Just stay there. We’ll leave. You can keep the dildo pile.

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Me: WHAT IS THAT HAND DOING? 
Thirteen: Nothing natural or human.
Me: PLEASE TELL ME HE’S NOT GOING TO TAKE HER HAND AND LEAD HER TO THE BATHROOM.
Thirteen: Can’t you just say “oh yeah, right down the hall, first door you see” or something? 
Thirteen: THIS DOES NOT NEED TO BE A GROUP EVENT.
Thirteen: I know it’s basic politeness and literally everyone does that but it sort of makes me snort every time someone asks if they may use the bathroom. 
Thirteen: Like someone’s going to go “NO YOU MAY NOT PISS ON THESE PREMISES” 
Me:  CUSTOMERS ONLY.
Thirteen:  Especially in a situation like this where they’re FAMILY (which cannot be overemphasized) and in one of their homes. 
Thirteen:  Like, you’d ASSUME yes, your family will allow you that much, sheesh.
Me: OH HE MOST CERTAINLY WILL.

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Thirteen: Oh, good.
Thirteen: Also shit girl
Thirteen: How fucking long is that fucking hair
Thirteen: It’s like ass-length, AND pulled up nearly on top of her head 
Me: It’s 5’6 but she’s only 5’3 
Thirteen: LOL
Thirteen: I like that “mmm”. Like she’s carefully contemplating the bathroom. 
Thirteen: “mm yes, solid structure, continuing the all-white theme (seriously even the TOWELS are white fucking hell, COLOR IS A THING), hideous fake-marble slab floor…” 
Thirteen: “all in all, a solid 3/10”

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Me: …
Thirteen: …you apparently intend to watch while she pisses, maybe? 
Me: Or maybe the shower is to small to fuck in? 
Thirteen: I dunno, she’s pretty tiny. Though her tits will take up half of it.

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Me: As soon as I clicked next
Me: Santiago said “What the fuck”
Me: And it was completely unrelated to this, but still somehow exactly how I feel.
Thirteen: …..why does he not have a door to his bathroom

w
h
y

Thirteen: Are we SURE there weren’t any bathroom-related kinks on the list because…
Thirteen: Also…how fucking stupid is Humbert that it doesn’t occur to him that the lack of a door MIGHT be an issue
Me: I mean he thinks his Italian neighbor Paolo is a pizza delivery guy
Thirteen: Okay, fair
Thirteen: So I guess we can just assume he pisses in front of everyone all the time and thinks that and the clapping spectators is totally normal.

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Humbert: *sweats* bathrooms don’t come with doors, sweetie. That is simply not how things are done.

Thirteen:  Humbert may or may not be an alien 
Thirteen: Or he’s simply a filthy degenerate pervert, and we know which one it is.
Thirteen: The awkward-ass pose of her legs is bugging the shit out of me.
Thirteen: And I’m assuming this den of horrors is tiny as hell but man, that speaker there keeps cracking me up since it’s in such close proximity to the mysterious doorless bathroom.
Thirteen: I think his entire home is the size of my bedroom. Or my snake’s terrarium.

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Me: FFFUFUFUCK SHE TURNED AROUND REAL QUICK.
Thirteen:  I imagine her just whirling around like a spinning top with a “fWIP” sound 
Me: THAT’S BASICALLY HOW IT HAPPENED. 
Me: PRETTY SURE I EVEN SAW HER TITS WOBBLE. 
Thirteen: I was just going to ask how she kept her balance with her giant fuckin tiddies because her ass is NOT big enough to counterbalance that much silicon.

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Me: NO SHIT. WHAT HAPPENED TO IT, HUMBERT? 
Thirteen: Did it get broke in one of your disgusting sex parties or did you remove it to make said sex parties easier? Haha just kidding, you’re way too much of a moron to have sex parties. And not nearly smart enough to lure that many ten-year-olds home. 
Me: EXPLAIN YOURSELF YOU CREEPY OLD MAN.

Blah blah blah this whole bathroom door shit continues on and on about how Lolita is just like “How can you live like this” and Humbert is like “I haven’t been laid in years” (not really, but stars and storms we were all thinking it). He really only said the rent was cheap and there was a nice shower. Leading to Lolita asking the hard hitting questions:

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Humbert: Well honey, obviously I’d just leer at her while she pees. What ELSE would I do?

Thirteen: Seriously, though. I cannot believe there is not some kind of fetish associated with this. Why the fuck else would his bathroom inexplicably have no door? 
Thirteen: If that’s NOT a kink thing, it is just so bizarrely RANDOM. 
Thirteen: PS: what if you dad is gay, Lolita? WHAT THEN?
Thirteen: (then he’d be in a better game with a better daughter and be hitting on other gay dads, that’s what).
Me: (Preferably gothic gay dads).

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Me: *SLAPS SELF IN THE FACE* 
Thirteen: Humbert 
Thirteen: Why 
Thirteen: Would you even think that 
Thirteen: She clearly meant a ~GIRL~ girl, like “a girl I want to impress and preferably fuck”.Why is your first thought your daughter
Thirteen: (I know why, because you’re disgusting, but humor me.)

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Me: *TRIES TO CLIMB OUT OF THE WINDOW*
Thirteen: Yeah you’d like him to be thinking about you wouldn’t you you atrocious trollop?
Me: She’s trying to be smooth. Trying to find out if he’s seeing anybody.
Me: I see right through you, Lolita.
Me: Oldest trick in the book.
Thirteen: I guess just asking if he’s seeing anybody outright (like, say, when she mentioned her mom has a boyfriend) wouldn’t be creepy enough. Gotta subtly hit on him so he doesn’t think she’s just interested in his life. 
Thirteen: And man, they have not talked about themselves at ALL for a long-estranged parent-child pair. 
Thirteen: I know it’s because they have no personality except “revolting” but still. 
Me: *sighs wistfully*  If this were Amanda and Alphonse they would have already started making bacon and she’d be telling him all about her classes at college and Lucien would be there making veggie bacon and Damien would be braiding her hair. And everything would be good and just in the world. 
Thirteen: And it would be The Cutest Thing. 
Me: AND THEY WOULD HAVE DOORS ON THE BATHROOMS. 
Thirteen: WHAT A FUCKING CONCEPT.
Thirteen: Shit Damien probably has like, six bathrooms in his beautiful-ass goth mansion 
Me: *Swoons over Damien briefly before returning to the train wreck that is my life*
Thirteen: Right. Yes. This. -mournful sigh-

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Humbert: But I’ll be listening…waiting.

Thirteen:  Well you would
Thirteen: If you had one
Thirteen: I feel like “there’s not a fucking door” should have been mentioned when she asked to use the bathroom in the first place, by the way. Not that you’d know, Humbert, since nobody ever visits you.

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Thirteen: …
Thirteen: Lolita, stop agreeing with me, you shameless tramp.

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Me: I feel like this isn’t something you should have to say to your father? Like maybe it should be obvious to absolutely everyone that he wouldn’t peek? Just saying?????? 
Thirteen: Jesus, okay, look. I, admittedly, have a bladder of iron, but I fucking promise you I would be entirely capable of not peeing around someone who I was worried might fucking peek on me.
Thirteen: Because that is fucking vile.
Thirteen: Lolita you little cockwomble, you are absolutely into this. Stop playing coy.

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Me: Jump out of a nearby window 
Me: run out into traffic 
Me: eat glass 
Thirteen: All of the above is also a choice for extra credit.
Me: Call Paolo a guido until he beats the shit out of you. 
Thirteen: I mean at least if he does that then his creepy slut daughter will be hitting up some guy she isn’t fucking related to.
Me: I don’t know man, maybe watching her father get beaten up by fake delivery drivers who deliver Italian-style frozen pizza to her door is like her kink or something. 
Thirteen: I mean, I’m assuming Paolo would at least put him out of commission if not kill him 
Thirteen: So she’d have to jump him for lack of other options (with functional lungs) 
Me: Necrophelia? 
Thirteen: 
Thirteen: Well, that is a fair risk to consider.

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Me: *THROWS HANDS UP IN THE AIR*
Thirteen: WHY IS THIS A CHOICE?
Thirteen: Jesus this game makes me feel like I need to go to church and I am literally a Satanist
Thirteen: And nothing has happened yet.
Me: OBVIOUSLY DON’T PEEK, HUMBERT. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU NEED ME TO BE YOUR CONSCIENCE FOR WHATEVER REASON. 
Thirteen: I feel like we’re the two halves of his conscience (both of us are “good” because lbr you can’t get much worse) shrieking into the void that is his skull and trying desperately to avoid absolute disaster.
Me: And ultimately failing. 
Thirteen: The hell of it is that we know it’s futile but we still have to try.

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Lolita: No dad – IF THAT EVEN IS YOUR REAL NAME everything is definitely not okay. Now that I don’t have to pee so bad I can’t think straight, let’s go to fucking LOWE’S AND GET A FUCKING DOOR.

Thirteen:  Shit at this rate I’d accept a piece of plywood awkwardly leaned against the wall.
Thirteen:Also, what the fuck? 
Thirteen: Was he expecting her to share details of how delightful her piss was or was not? 
Thirteen: Who asks that 
Thirteen: (Except a creepy weirdo getting a boner about girls peeing).

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Me: IT DOESN’T HAVE A DOOR, LOLITA.

Lolita: Except for the lack of door. And hideous floor. And blindingly white color scheme. And generally being smaller than a closet. Also, the six cameras I found hidden in there. Besides that, it’s great.

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Me: -_-. They’re gonna have shower sex aren’t they? 
Thirteen: I’m still convinced her tits will take up half or more of the shower, so does it count if one of them isn’t technically IN the shower? 
Me: If Bill Clinton has taught me anything. It’s that, if it isn’t all the way it ain’t sex.

Blah blah blah. Semantics. Bullshit. Dumb shitty boring dialogue. Lolita suggests they continue their date. I question my sanity. Thirteen questions if she ever cared about me at all. We’re still somehow on day one. This is some sort of alternate universe where days last 172 hours and not having doors is trendy.

Thirteen: Also, white is the BEST color for everything! Except floors. Those come in “ugly blond wood” or “fake-ass marble”.

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Me: There’s only one option left.
Thirteen: Die? 
Thirteen: I will also accept “murder-suicide”. 
Thirteen: You can decide if I mean in-game or out. 
Me: I’m too far away to murder you. And yes, I would still say that even if I was sitting right next to you. 
Thirteen: Shit. Welp. 
Thirteen: Ground Zero it is, then. 

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Me: did…did her boobs get bigger
Thirteen: Shit, I dunno, probably. I’m too mesmerized by her weird hair which is both floating and sitting at a weird angle. 
Thirteen: And like. Literally nobody talks like this. 
Thirteen: I’ve never had anyone ask me that when they see my room. 
Thirteen: But mostly they coo over how cool it is because I have a personality, unlike Humbert. 
Me: Unless you’re me and you immediately demand to hold a snake and also where the cat is. 
Thirteen: Nah, that’s pretty common too actually. 
Thirteen: It basically falls into gushing over the skulls, or asking what lives in the terrariums and maybe if they’re friendly enough to be held. 
Me: I knew I should have asked “So this is where you sleep huh??” Then suggestive eyebrow waggle and laid down on your bed with a rose between my teeth. 
Thirteen: That’s what you get for not planning ahead. 
Thirteen: Is Lolita going to ask next if he does anything…else…there while “coincidentally” squishing her tits together?

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Me: No, but this is just as bad.

Humbert: Want to…try it out?

Thirteen: I like him better when he’s being a fucking moron.

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Lolita: By “it” I mean your dick. And by “jump” I mean insert into my vagina.

Thirteen: That, or she’s back to being twelve (or, well, younger) again.
Thirteen: Anyway sure go on I’m sure Humbert would love to watch you black your eyes with your tits. 
Me: A new kind of fetish. 
Thirteen: I mean, I’d like to watch stupid twats beat themselves up but I don’t get off on it so I guess that doesn’t count.

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Humbert: What are you? Twel-OH

Thirteen: I guaran-damn-tee you do not have ANY interest in jumping or running or any other bouncy movement until you strap your gazongas down, girl.
Thirteen: And if you did you’d get over it REAL QUICK
Thirteen: And I know beating on the shit dialogue is basically a dead, buried, rotted, and exhumed horse at this point but who immediately (or ever) asks to jump on someone’s bed
Thirteen: Who?

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Me: 
Humbert: 
Me: 
Humbert: 
Me: *DRAWS SWORD* THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
Thirteen:
 He’s just trying to clarify to figure out if she’s young enough for him (I mean I’d be surprised if he knew his own daughter’s age tbh)
Thirteen: (Intro text be damned)

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Me: I read that as “You say you’re good in bed” and I was like “Fuck did the game glitch? Is this what happens when you peek on her peeing?” 
Thirteen: I really do not need to have Humbert pop a boner over Lolita’s bouncing titties, game. Please stop this.

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Me: I say we let her jump. Maybe she’ll knock herself out with those giant tits. 
Thirteen: Man, I’m leaning no just because fuck you, hussy, you may NOT jump on the bed like a fucktard. What if your 100-lb ass breaks it? She likes us too much anyway. 
Me: But what if discipline is her thing? 
Thirteen: Yeah, but like, isn’t it worth it just ot not let her get her way for once? Then we can pointedly not punish her later.
Thirteen: Also, she’s gross and I hate her. 
Me: Alright. No Lolitas jumpin on the bed.

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Me: She got so mad she dislocated her jaw.
Thirteen: Because it’s stupid and you’re stupid. 
Thirteen: Alternately: BECAUSE I’M YOUR DAD AND I SAY SO!

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Me: SO THE TRUTH COMES OUT.
Thirteen: With your stupid, fat ass. 
Thirteen: Now go lock yourself in the bathroom and cry
Thirteen: OH WAIT.

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Humbert: Yes.

Me: Yes.
Thirteen: Yes.
Thirteen: Absolutely.
Thirteen: We are in agreement, you’ve been voted off the island. Before your fat, fat ass sinks it.

In-game Humbert says no. Lolita goes back to her self-absorbed begging. “Lemme jump. Daddy lemme jump.” She will not take no for an answer.

OH WAIT. SHIT WE HAVE ONE LESS GREEN POINT. YES! WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT!

Thirteen: -FISTPUMP- WOOOO
Thirteen: My instincts were correct!

Humbert still fucking lets her jump on the bed. I guess this was going to happen whether we wanted it to or not. 

Thirteen: Well yes. Gotta watch them fake-ass tiddies bounce. 
Thirteen: Why doesn’t she have her OWN bed to jump on? Or does she actually live in a cardboard box?

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Thirteen: I am mesmerized by her teeth. I wonder how many rows of them she has.

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Lolita: No daddy, I like it dirrty 😉

Thirteen: Now hold that pose, sexbot.

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Me: His bed is also white. I don’t know why I’m surprised. 
Thirteen: Man her proportions are hilarious. How does she not topple over like, constantly? 
Thirteen: And what is that? A blank mint-green canvas?
Thirteen: Is that your attempt at decorating, Humbert? 
Me: Modern art some hipster in a coffee shop sold him because he said it would make him seem intelligent. 
Thirteen: Except he probably said it in a way so that Humbert only understood like 25% of the words because he’s as thick as pig shit. 
Thirteen: Anyway hurry up and break your spine you stupid child so we can kick your gross ass out.

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Me: What is this? An apartment for ants? 
Thirteen: I’m telling you, Kaa has better digs than this. She technically has TWO bedrooms. 
Thirteen: And if she had a bathroom it would have a door. 
Thirteen: Well, if snakes could use doors, anyway.

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Me: She’s just calmly floating in the air. 
Thirteen: Well she is a succubus. 
Me: Quick, Lo. Make your head turn all the way around next. Vomit split pea soup. Do something interesting. 
Thirteen: At the very least, speak in tongues or refer to yourself as Legion.

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Me: OH REALLY? COULD HAVE FOOLED ME. 
Thirteen: VRRROOOMMM HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE.
Thirteen: We know you’re a kid on account of the fact that you’re like twelve, Lolita. This is not news. 
Me: It’s VIRGIN airline’s newest addition. Sexbot plane 3.0. 
Thirteen: Virgin my ass. 
Thirteen: Hell, my ass is a metric fuckload more virginal than this thing is. 
Me: MY ass is probably a metric fuckload more virginal that that thing is. 
Thirteen: I wish I knew a slutty gay dude to claim HIS ass was more virginal, but alas. 
Me: I know several, but none I can call out tag on Tumblr :P.

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Me: NO STOP GET BACK UP WHAT ARE YOU DOING. 
Thirteen: STOP POSING LIKE THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
Thirteen: also wow he has a solid rock bed
Thirteen: that’s…different
Thirteen: …and apparently one massive pillow.
Me: QUICK KILL HER AND SHE’LL ASCEND TO GOD MODE AND HOPEFULLY HAVE MORE SENSE THAN THIS. 
Thirteen: Do we REALLY want to give her MORE power?

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Me: …no.
Thirteen: No, Lolita, we’re not spitroasting you, so fucking stop it. 
Me: Her legs do kinda look like hot dogs.
Thirteen: I mean her entire body looks like a poorly put-together meat golem so
Thirteen: They might BE hot dogs.

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Me: 

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Thirteen: I swear to all the gods, if this leads to some kind of tickle or wrestling match
Thirteen: I didn’t really have an ending for that I just really hope it doesn’t
Thirteen: I also just now noticed her shorts are crawling right up her ass
Thirteen: Nice classy clothing to wear to meet your dad.

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Me: ….WHY DID THE CAMERA ANGLE CHANGE? 
Thirteen: Clearly Humbert is moving in for the kill 
Thirteen: I like how the railing looks alarmingly like a baby crib 
Thirteen: Also, cameo from the dildo pile 
Me: It’s subliminal messaging. The game wants us to know on some level she’s nowhere near 18. 
Thirteen: I knew that the second it said she was eighteen 
Thirteen: Also, nice “smell my armpit” pose.

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Me: *sighs* here we go. 
Thirteen: -hopefully- …to smother her? 
Me: I love how have to click it too. It’s like the game is reminding me “HEY YOU. YOU ASKED FOR THIS. PICK UP THE PILLOW AND FROLIC LIKE THE DISGUSTING OLD MAN YOU ARE”. 
Thirteen: Why can’t we be a stuffy old coot? This game is ruining ~MY IMMERSION~. 
Thirteen: Though I mean she’d just seduce us into being fun (“fun” means “disgusting”) then.

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Humbert: Smother you. And maybe also take you to the hospital since your arm seems to be permanently glued to your head.

Thirteen: Her spine is broken as fuck, too.
Thirteen: I’m pretty flexible and that twist makes MY back ache. 
Me: Oho. you’re flexible hm? (fuck what have I become?)
Thirteen: Now now, don’t try to distract me with flirting. You started this and by the gods we’re going to finish it. 
Me: We’re not even past day one. We’re going to die here. 
Thirteen: I refuse to die trying to finish some gross incest game. 
Thirteen: Let me die with dignity. Probably while trying to make an angsty elf love me.

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Thirteen: …smother you.

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Me: I’m not even sure how she can tell that’s a pillow. 
Thirteen: Pillow, giant marshmallow, nondescript possibly-untextured shape, whatever. 
Thirteen: And I feel like, if you could write worth a damn, something like “what are you–DO NOT” would make more sense and not make her seem like a bumblefuck
Thirteen: But then again I’m glad she’s not screaming “NO DADDY NO”
Thirteen: So

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Me: This is what happens when I don’t skip. ACTUAL TORTURE. I don’t care about any of this shit. 
Thirteen: Man she is committed to that pose

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Me: IF THIS IS THE ONLY OPTION WHY THE EVER LOVING FILLET-O-FUCK DO I EVEN HAVE TO FUCKING CHOOSE IT!?!?!?! 
Thirteen: …with a shovel!

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Me: *CHOKES ON LAUGHTER* WHAT EVEN IS THIS POSE??
Me: HOW ARE YOU EVEN SURPRISED? 
Thirteen: He is SO trying to smother her. 
Me: YOU SAW HIM GRAB THE PILLOW. 
Thirteen: Alas, he is a fucking moron. 
Me: TIME TO DIE, LITTLE GIRL. 

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Me: Ah yes, I too make a prime dick sucking face when I’m hit in the cheek with a pillow. 
Thirteen: I’m pretty sure it hasn’t even touched her yet. She’s just prepping early. 
Thirteen: What the FUCK is going on in the foreground though 
Thirteen: That blobby, vaguely boxlike shape?
Me: Another pillow? 
Thirteen: Fuck, who knows. 
Thirteen: Certainly not the guy who made this. He thinks the only color is white.

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Me: OH SUCK IT UP, LOLITA. YOU DON’T EVEN LOOK HURT. 
Thirteen: Sure, got smacked in the face, so you completely change positions and clench your shoulder while making a stupid bitchy pouty face. 
Me: Makes perfect sense.

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Thirteen: Much like an uninvited cock up the ass.

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Thirteen: I think she wins some kind of award for having the most epic wedgie ever. It’s so epic it’s making her ass do things I don’t think a human ass was meant to do. 
Me: Her panties/ass cheek spreaders have bravely gone where no panties have gone before. 
Thirteen: Godspeed to those doomed souls. 
Thirteen: Then again, how the fuck horrible were you in life to be reincarnated as the panties of this little harlot. 
Thirteen: So maybe it’s deserved.

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Me: Her tits have now eaten her shorts.
Thirteen: Her smile is creepy and dead-eyed no matter what. It’s kind of impressive, really. 
Me: It’s the wedgie. It’s possessed her. 
Thirteen: Or her eldritch abomination nature creeping through the facade. Either/or.

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Me: IT. JUST. KEEPS. GETTING. WORSE. 
Thirteen: Her tits look like literal grapefruits. And possibly are
Thirteen: And her mane appears to have vanished into the ether.

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Me: Idk what the fuck that face means, but I’m betting she just farted. 
Thirteen: Or shit herself. Whichever. 
Me: Wouldn’t put it past her. Especially considering the BATHROOM DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING DOOR.
Thirteen:  I was just going to say “probably because she’s been holding it since the doorless bathroom incident”.
Me: Great minds :P.
Thirteen: I mean they really only gave us one avenue to pursue there :P.
Thirteen: With the mysterious doorless bathroom 
Me:  With the suspiciously nice shower.
Thirteen: Allegedly

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Me: Can you not tell from her face that she shit herself? And/or needs to sneeze? And/or is having some sort of orgasm? And/or the possession is wearing off? 
Thirteen: I’m going to go for “all of the above”.

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Me: SUDDENLY 
Thirteen: Are you pregnant, young lady? 
Thirteen: Whatever, is it time for her to fuck off now? 
Me: *hopeful*  Is the day finally over???

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Me: I…feel like this…might be a trap. 
Thirteen: Just close your eyes so daddy can grab dem titties. 
Me: I just fucking snorted so loud Santiago woke up and asked me what just happened. 
Thirteen: Nothing that belongs in the realm of anything good and holy, tbh.

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Me: Fresh air is a HELL OF A DRUG.
Thirteen: Is she jet-lagged or literally sick? Jesus. Also, Humbert, for fuck’s sake stop hoverhanding yourself. 
Thirteen: I know you’re disgusting but if you’re not going to change that then just accept it. 
Me: He’s preparing his hands to grab dem titties. 
Thirteen: I didn’t know it was that big of an event. But then, I guess they are the first titties he’s touched since his mother’s.

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Me: AUGH NO I JUST WANT THIS DAY TO BE OVER! 
Thirteen: Humbert you absolute assmaster it is 4:34 AM over here let me fucking sleep.
Thirteen: She’s jet-lagged or pregnant or whatever! Leave her alone!

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Me: FUCK YEAH. SHE’S ASLEEP. AND POSSIBLY MASTURBATING. I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T CARE. HAHA IT’S OVER! DOBBY IS FREE! 
Thirteen: I hope she died. And her tits continue to freak me out. 
Me: I mean look at that face. That is not the face of an alive person. 
Thirteen: That’s not the anything of an alive person. Or a human, for that matter.

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Humbert: Time to put my dick in her mouth.

Thirteen: Hell, she clearly prepped for it before inexplicably passing out.

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Me: *CHOCOBO NIGHTS FLASHBACKS* 
Thirteen: OH GODS SAME
Thirteen: I THOUGHT I’D BLOCKED THAT OUT.
Thirteen: LOLITA WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO NUDE CHOCOBO NIGHT RIDING?
Me: LET ME SHOVE SOME CHOCOBO GREENS UP THAT PUSSY.
Thirteen: THEN CHOCOBO COCK. WE’VE FINALLY DISCOVERED WHAT THE BESTIALITY BIT IS! 
Me: And if she’s not pregnant now, she’s gonna be real soon. 
Thirteen: I’m 97% certain this is now the origin story of the Chocobo Nights bitch, before she realized her love for giant chicken cock and started her ranch. 
Me: Sally Jane “Call me Chickabo” Johnson. 
Thirteen: Obviously, she tried to leave her old life as Lolita behind. WHY? ONE CAN ONLY PONDER (and play this to find out). Spoilers: it involves fucking her dad.

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Me: OH FUCK. ME. I WISH YOU COULD HAVE SEEN THIS SHITTY EYE OPENING ANIMATION I JUST WITNESSED. GO BACK TO SLEEP LOLITA FUCK. I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THIS. DAY ONE WAS OVER. YOU ALL SAW IT. 
Thirteen: -SHRIEKS-
Thirteen: THOSE EYES ARE NOT OF THIS WORLD.

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Me: UP SHUT YOUR FUCK AND GO BACK TO SLEEP. 
Thirteen: HE FUCKING VANISHED INTO THE HELLPIT FROM WHENCE YOU BOTH SPAWNED. BEGONE, SHE-DEMON.

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Me: WHO WALKS LIKE THIS???? 
Thirteen: Oh look she magically has shoes again. And who ANYTHINGS like she does?

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Me: She looks so much like a twelve-year-old here like.
Thirteen: Just jerkin’ off on the couch
Thirteen: Okay but like
Thirteen: From what I understand of the layout of this shoebox 
Thirteen: There is like, NOWHERE you can’t see. Because it’s the size of a smallish closet with no real walls. 
Thirteen: Like? Bitch, use your eyes??

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Me: WHO ????????????? POSES ???????? LIKE ????? THIS ?????? 
Thirteen: Sexbot Pose #7 loaded.
Thirteen: And hello again, dildo pile 
Thirteen: Nice to see you’re still popping in for cameos.

Blah blah blah “It’s almost 6pm” and Lolita suddenly has to go. Where? I don’t know. To Paolo’s apartment to get fucked presumably. Then this happens:

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Thirteen: I’m gonna presume from her expression that he just got his dick out 
Me: *Say no to this from Hamilton plays in the background* *INSISTENTLY

Humbert: You can stay the night… -zip- …if you want… -waggles dick at her-

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Humbert: WELL FUCK GUESS I GOTTA GET OFF THE SOFA. *DICK STILL IN HAND* EYY BB U WAN DIS DICK?

Thirteen: I am unusually terrified what getting off the sofa means…

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Me: Here’s hoping Elena is her girlfriend
Me: and they’re exclusive. 
Thirteen: Hell, I’m just hoping she’s not related to Elena.

Elena left 15 messages, Lolita is holding her phone weird. The screen goes black. It’s still day one. My life is a lie. How can a day be this long. Holy fuck. 

Thirteen: oh my goooddddsssss.

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Me: I’m p sure you have been kidnapped at least a little 
Thirteen: Your super-creepy pedo dad who you’re trying to seduce

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Me: Elena seems like she’s got a good head on her shoulders. Lolita! be Elena.
Thirteen: No fucking shit, sweetcheeks. You took after dad there. (By which I mean you’re a fuckwit.) 
Thirteen: Why is Elena in this? She seems too normal and not-moronic. 
Me: They’re probably gonna kill her.

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Me: YOU KEEP SAYING THAT WORD. 
Thirteen: Yep guess you have time to fuck off forever okay bye? BYE!

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Me: OH THANK THE STARS ABOVE. 
Thirteen: YES
Thirteen: YES PLEASE 
Thirteen: JESUS HOPSCOTCH CHRIST PLEASE!

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Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT, TAMMY! 

Lolita: …but it was also, like, super creepy, so let’s never talk again, okay?

Thirteen: Oh wait wait wait I think I figured out the Elena thing. She was Lolita’s backup plan to get out quick if things got creepy, but then Lolita never contacted her at their agreed-time to confirm she was okay. You girls are about as organized as a senior citizen orgy.

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Me: baby girl *cringes* 
Thirteen: STOP IT I CALL MY CAT BABY GIRL LITERALLY FIGHT ME
Thirteen: YOU CANNOT MAKE THAT CREEPY I WILL MURDER YOU.

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Me: NOPe. gET OUT.

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Me: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THIS????
Thirteen: Go. AWAY.
Thirteen: FOREVEr, PREFERABLY 
Thirteen: AND TELL YOUR WHORE MOM SHE RAISED A TERRIBLE LITTLE DISASTER!

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Me: GOOD, GET OUT!
Thirteen: ALRIGHT WELP BYE THEN!

Lolita says she’ll call Humbert sometime this week to set up another date. Again with that terrible godforsaken word. And he, being the pathetic pedophile he is, eagerly awaits her call. Then this:

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Me:NO
Me: STOP
Thirteen: jESUS NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN!
Thirteen: How do they make a simple hug so CREEPY?

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Me: THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? DID HE FINALLY BUY A DOOR FOR THE BATHROOM?? 
Thirteen: I’m concerned with why that handle is so high considering Humbert is like eight feet tall or something.

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Me: OH FFFFFFFFFUUUUCCCKCKKK NOOOOOO!!
Thirteen: -SCREECHING- END. END, DAMN YOU. 
Thirteen: I HAVE SHIT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
Thirteen: PLEASE END WITHIN THE NEXT YEAR.

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Me: WHAT TTHE FUCK THE FUCKING FADE IN THIS SHIT JUST DID WAS FUCKING JARRING AS FUCK. 
Thirteen: I don’t know if it’s the sleep deprivation but Elena is actually semi-cute. dost mine eyes deceive me? 
Me: I don’t know man, I lost the ability to see 9 years ago. 
Thirteen: I mean they probably are since it’s 5 FUCKING AM

Blah blah blah a total repeat of the phone conversation. Elena was worried was gonna call the police or some shit. There’s a PARTY????? FUCK NO ELENA SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN. ABORT. ABORT. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU GIANT VAGINA????

Thirteen: ugh I am nOT FUCKING PREPARED FOR THIS OKAY?
Thirteen: FUCK THIS. I AM STOPPING THIS ON ACCOUNT OF NEEDING TO SLEEP BECAUSE I AM ACTUALLY DOING SHIT TODAY
Thirteen: FUCK YOU LOLITA!
Me: I FUCKING GIVE UP. IT’S DAY TWO. THERE’S NO DAY COUNTER. 
Thirteen: GOOD NIGHT. -SLAMS PALMS ONTO DESK, LEAVES- 
Me: GOOD NIGHT.

To be…continued??

Video Game Mockaries: Dating My Daughter Part 3

NSFW Warning

Here we are, continuing on our journey of self-hatred and terror. 

Once again with 13​ by my side, we will prevail. 

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Thirteen: Man it’d be cool if we had the technology to identify someone before seeing them in person.
Thirteen: Also, what the fuck?
Thirteen: You’re EXPECTING your daughter, and she just totally doesn’t resemble what you remember of her at all?
Thirteen: I think this just stopped being as creepy because this is clearly some other random girl. 
Me:  Pretending to be his biological daughter to get a free place to stay. 
Thirteen:  Yep. And dick, inevitably. And probably the dildo collection. 
Thirteen:  His REAL daughter got lost, met a cute girl, and ended up running away with her. 
Me:  And they all lived gaily ever after. 
Thirteen:  And far far away from her incestuous pedo dad.

Blah blah blah more talking still in the same hallway. Awkward conversation is awkward. Until FINALLY:

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Thirteen:  So why is she standing like she had her hip explode anyway?
Me:  She’s protecting her hip from attack. 
Thirteen:  That’s not the bit you wanna protect hon 
Thirteen:  It’s a little lower.

Blah blah blah Humbert just says the exact same thing like 900 times. She calls him dad, we both die a little on the inside. 

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Me:  How about: golly gee dad, how come you’re crowding me up against the door and staring at my tits? 
Thirteen:  The cartoon bear on her giant tiddies is a nice touch. 
Me:  It’s Whinnie the Pedo Trap 
Me:  Oh wait that wasn’t Lolita talking this whole time. 
Me:  That was Humbert. 
Me:  Haha it’s even in a different color and I should have noticed this and I feel dumb. 
Thirteen:  Oh I was too busy trying to translate tiddy bear’s heart. 
Me:  I was too busy being visually assaulted by bright white and bright red simultaneously. 
Thirteen:  Yeah this place must be hell to keep clean based on all the fucking bright white. And that was BEFORE she got here. Gods know it’s going to be much filthier now.
Thirteen:  Also, I am SO uncomfortable with how short she is. I mean, sure, petite women exist and are great but it’s NOT helping the “she is 12 with a boob job” vibes.
Thirteen: Which I suppose is the point. 

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Me:  She pretty much looks exactly like my 13 year old niece is said niece had blonde hair. And giant plastic surgery tits. This is hard to look at, not gonna lie. 
Thirteen:  Nice that she’s stuck in Sexbot Pose #5 now, thrusting her familial tiddies at us as much as possible. 
Thirteen:  Seriously, who holds their arm like that? I just tried and it was not comfortable.
Me:  ow. You’re right

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Me:  I just wish they would fucking stop talking. 
Me:  Every click is more and more of this boring bullshit. 
Thirteen:  It could be worse.
Thirteen: Just remember that.
Thirteen:  Soon you’ll wish for boring.

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Thirteen:  Yes yes you want to jizz all over her pudgy chipmunk face we get it shut up.

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Me:  auggghhh.
Thirteen:  Eeeaaauuughhhh.

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Me: Well fuck what do we pick? 
Thirteen:  I mean my choice is “touch her as little as possible”.
Thirteen:  But are we going for “try to do this ‘correctly'”, “intentional sabotage by being as gross as Humbert really is”, or “AVOID INCEST AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE POR FAVOR”? 
Me:  We’re going for minimal self-sabotage morbid curiousity while also not trying to be a shitty father. 
Thirteen:  I’m not sure how to do that, man.
Thirteen: Considering what we have to work with. 
Me:  Man I think we should just shake her hand. That seems fatherly. 
Thirteen:  He’s so gonna grab her tit. 
Thirteen:  (Well, probably not, but you know he WANTS to.) 
Me:  LET’S FIND OUT.

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Me:  I’m pretty sure we got 0 points. We’re the best at this game. 
Thirteen:  I think someone put her jaw on wrong. It keeps looking weird. Well her lower lip does. 
Thirteen:  Is there a “bad” end where we don’t fuck our daughter?
Thirteen: Let’s try for that one.

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Me:  This handshake has gone on too long now. 
Thirteen:  Watch even seemingly innocuous actions become creepy as fuck through the magic of this…thing!

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Thirteen:  Everything occurring here, yes 
Me:  Yes.

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Me: WELL YOU’RE SOL LOLITA BECAUSE I’M PUTTING ON DAD CHARM AND DAD-ZONING YOU. 
Thirteen:  AND IT’S TERRIBLE THAT WE SHOULD EVEN HAVE TO DO THAT BY THE WAY YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE SUCCUBUS.
Me:  PUT YOUR SHORTS BACK ON AND LET’S GO GET SOME ICE CREAM AND WATCH A BALL GAME.

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Me: STOP TRYING TO MAKE SENSE, HUMBERT. I HATE YOU. 
Thirteen: “Most people hate physical contact”????? 
Thirteen: Here I was under the impression that people who hate physical contact are the outliers.
Thirteen: Wow I’m normal
Thirteen: Who knew
Thirteen: (Not me) 
Me:  I mean. Okay, but. Listen, if I was a person who enjoyed physical contact. Which I’m not. But if I was, I would basically be like “NOT YOU HUMBERT. NOT. YOU.” And just tell him I hate physical contact. Though, at 27, I doubt I’m his type. 
Thirteen:  LOL Okay fine, I guess he does have a skewed perspective.
Thirteen: Shit like this is why I got into goth fashion. Cover yourself in spikes and the pervs can’t get you as easy.
Thirteen: #lifehacks

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Me: ….
Thirteen: Yeah I bet you do, strumpet. Special hugs.

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Me:  GET IN THE CAR LET ME DRIVE YOU BACK TO THE AIRPORT. GO TO A BALL GAME WITH YOUR MOTHER. BYE LOLITA. 
Thirteen:  BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH.
Me:  A BAD TOUCH ON MY EYEBALLS. 
Thirteen:  YES.
Thirteen:  I NEED AN ADULT.

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Me: Please no.
Thirteen: ….BAD TOUCH.
Thirteen:  Humbert you will do NO SUCH THING.

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Me:  I guess we finally get an explanation as to why she’s been out of touch for 10 years. 
Thirteen:  What? She wanted her tiddies to pop out so she could seduce him easier? 
Thirteen:  (This word game I’m playing just accepted “poon” and I feel dirty.)

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Me:  I say Humbert takes some responsibility. What do you think? 
Thirteen:  Yeah, sure. Man up and accept what a dumbass you are, Humbert.

Blah blah blah Humbert feels bad about not calling. Continues to call her honey. Blah blah blah excuses about when she left the country. Blah blah blah. Something heartwarming happens and still manages to be creepy. All leading to this:

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Thirteen:  YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW YOU DISGUSTING HARLOT.
Me:  I EXPECTED YOUR MOTHER TO RAISE YOU BETTER THAN THIS. 
Thirteen:  jesus where IS her mom?
Thirteen:  why is she not stopping her child from DOING TERRIBLE THINGS?
Me:  I don’t know. I guess we’re her mothers now. Don’t worry child, we’ll stop you from getting dicked by your old man. And by that I mean, we’ll kill him. And you if you don’t stop being so thirsty.

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Me:  Okay Lolita. Take it down a notch. 
Me:  Or eleven. 
Thirteen:  I’m not adopting this vile hellspawn. 
Thirteen:  She’s at least as much to blame as him.
Thirteen:  So yeah, cleanse them with fire, etc.
Me:  Brandish your sage knife. 
Thirteen:  GONNA SAGE THIS GROSS SHIT OUT OF YOU BITCHES.

Blah blah blah Humbert wants her to be there too. Blah blah blah fatherly bullshit. Blah blah blah. 

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Me:  Do we hug her or not? 
Me:  I don’t wanna play into this little harlot’s trap. 
Thirteen:  Yeah I mean, it’s a good Dadly thing to do but…
Thirteen:  That’s what this vile creature wants.
Me:  …I’ll hug her. One time. For .00001 seconds. 
Thirteen:  Awkwardly as fuck so she never wants another.

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Me: I AM DISGUSTED 
Me:  BLOCKED BLOCKED BLOCKED 
Me: YOU’RE ALL BLOCKED 
Thirteen: EW EW EW LET GO OF THAT TARTED UP TWELVE YEAR OLD RIGHT THIS INSTANT HUMBERT.
Thirteen: BAD TOUCH
Thirteen: LEGITIMATELY 

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Me:  If his couch is black, I’m leaving. 
Thirteen:  Ugh her sexbot pose is creeping me out more and more. This thing is Not Right.

Blah blah blah Lolita agrees. Some awkward fumbling. The screen goes black. And then: 

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Me:  I vote go to another room. 
Thirteen:  And never come back 
Me:  Kickflip into the sun. 
Thirteen:  It’s where he belongs tbh.
Me:  I ACCIDENTALLY HIT COMPLIMENT TRYING TO GO BACK TO THE WINDOW 
Thirteen:  AUGH 
Me:  OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?

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Thirteen:  ABORT ABORT ABORT.
Me:  DONALD TRUMP IS THAT YOU?

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Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo 
Thirteen:  AAAAAUUUGGGHHHH.

And then we’re back at the choice screen with a third green point :/. I don’t like where this is going. I choose talk to her. There’s a conversation. Then: 

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Me:  Which is creepier? “How is your mother I divorced ten years ago?” or “Are you alone 😉 😉 *nudge nudge*”? 
Thirteen:  “How is your mom” is less creepy I think?
Thirteen: That’s just nice chit-chat right?
Thirteen: Catching up on her life in a non-gross way.

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Me:  Brad sounds top notch, why not go and fuck him? 
Thirteen:  Probably already did, that’s why she’s moved on to greener (grosser) pastures.

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Me:  Way to not be creepy. Humbert. 
Thirteen:  He cccooould make sure she doesn’t have any bad impressions of him? In a good, dadly way?
Thirteen: Or he’s a creeper which is the correct answer. 
Humbert: Does your mom ever mention *blushes prettily and looks away* how big my dick is? 

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Me:  WOAAAH. BURN. 
Thirteen:  I mean she’s not wrong, as long as Brad doesn’t fuck kids. Especially his kids. 
Me: Yeah Humbert did set the bar pretty low.

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Me:  *SLAMS MOUSE DOWN HARD ON SHE’S RIGHT*  
Thirteen:  YES GOOD.
Thirteen:  HUMBERT YOU DIDN’T EVEN CALL YOUR DAUGHTER AND KEEP STARING AT HER TITS YOU’RE ACTUALLY THE WORST!

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Thirteen:  Also she probably freaked out when you named your daughter Lolita
Thirteen: Just saying.
Me:  YEAH HUMBERT. THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE FOR A CHANGE.

Humbert: *teary eyed* but I’ve changed and I can be a better father! You’ll see, LOLITA! 

Me: Presumably once he has his dick in you. 
Thirteen: That’s how you dad, right? 
Thirteen: fuck up your relationship with your wife, get divorced, make it better by fucking your daughter who reminds you of her?
Me:  Stick your dick in it, it’s diddly dang daddy done.

Lolita foolishly believes his claims. Humbert calls this a date again. Lolita is not at all freaked out by this. And we have 4 green points suddenly. 

Thirteen:  Of course she’s not freaked out.
Thirteen:  This is clearly her goal.

Now they’re watching a fucking movie. 

Thirteen:  How many sex scenes does it have?
Thirteen: Is it literally a FUCKING movie?

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Me:  I don’t know. We apparently get to choose. 
Thirteen:  Uuuuuhhhhh comedy seems safest?
Thirteen: And man she has creepy teeth. 
Me:  BETTER TO EAT DICK WITH, MY DEAR.

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Me:  She looks like she’s seen something she can’t unsee. 
Me:  Is this where the optional beastiality comes in?
Me: The comedy movie?
Me: Have we opened a whole can of worms now? 
Thirteen: Oh, so it’s worms, then
Thirteen: Not a dog after all 
Me: Ba dum tiss.
Thirteen:  We’re funny.
Thirteen: To someone. Somewhere. Maybe. 
Me: kuresoto​ likes us. 

Me: OH FUCK HOLY HELL.
Thirteen: SHIT. WHAT?
Me: I WENT TO SAVE MY GAME AND OVERWRITE THE OLD SAVE AND THIS HAPPENED. 

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Thirteen:  -SCREECH-
Thirteen: ALSO HER ANATOMY IS FUCKED AS HELL.
Me:  DON’T LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT OR YOU’LL GO INSANE 
Thirteen:  DON’T WORRY MY FIRST REACTION WAS TO SHIELD MY EYES.

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Me:  OH LOOK SOMETHING WAS FUNNY AHAHAHA HA…HAHAH…. 
Thirteen:  THAT SHIT WAS NOT HILARIOUS YOU SMUG LITTLE FUCK
Thirteen: IT WAS VILE
Thirteen: VILE

Lolita goes in about French for like nine clicks. Humbert is glad she liked the movie. I’m just glad I’m not looking at a deformed naked sim. Now we’re gonna do something else. We have six green points now for some reason.

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Me:  The only thing we haven’t done it gone to another room. 
Thirteen:  Ugh how do we make this gross harlot dislike us
Thirteen: Welp 
Thirteen: One choice left I suppose 
Humbert: Bye bitch. Gonna go take a dump. Entertain yourself for a few hours.
Thirteen: LMAO 
Thirteen: Gods, I hope so.

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Me: THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED AT ALL. 
Thirteen: NO IT DOES NOT NEED TO BE A GROUP EVENT 
Thirteen: I THINK WE NEED SOME SPACE
Thirteen: IT’S NOT ME IT’S YOU (AND YOUR DISGUSTING PROCLIVITIES) 
Me:  GO TAKE A DUMP, HUMBERT. 
Thirteen:  ALONE. UNTIL SHE LEAVES.

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Me: GO TO THE BATHROOM, HUMBERT. 
Thirteen: OH GODS ALL OF THESE OPTIONS ARE TERRIFYING.
Me: KITCHEN HAS KNIVES SO WE CAN KILL HIM. 
Thirteen: I WAS GOING TO SUGGEST THAT (it seems least terrifying)

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Me: *WIDE EYES AND ACTUAL IRL SCREAMING* PEDO SENSES TINGLING.
Thirteen: JESUS YOU VILE CREATURE STOP STICKING YOUR TITS OUT CONSTANTLY
Thirteen: I AM CONCERNED FOR YOUR SPINE 
Me:  UNSTUFF YOUR BRA AND PUT THOSE CHICKEN CUTLETS BACK IN THE BEDSIDE DRAWER WHERE THEY BELONG.

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Me: *screams in rage*
Thirteen:  for cock

Now instead of cooking they’re apparently going to go get something to eat which seems much safer. Oh wait. 

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Thirteen: Jesus. Pizza? Maybe our utter awkwardness at 1) not asking if she was hungry earlier, or before dragging her into the kitchen combined with 2) specifically moving to the kitchen to order pizza will turn her off.
Thirteen: Plus, maybe she’s allergic to pizza. 
Me:  We are in accordance.

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Lolita: SO YOU DO KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE. I KNEW YOU NEVER LOVED ME. 
Thirteen:  IT’S TRUE CHILD WE HATE YOU TIME TO LEAVE.

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Me:  WHY IS THIS EVEN AN OPTION 
Me:  AND WHY ARE YOU CALLING THE DELIVERY GUY DIRECTLY 
Thirteen: Obviously that’s how pizza works
Thirteen: there’s no places that make it 
Thirteen: just fleets of delivery guys who produce it magically, pulling it from somewhere unknown 
Thirteen:  some have suggested: their asses

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Me: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
Thirteen: Great camera work. On the other hand, the vile she-demon is mostly off-screen with her creepy, soulless smile. But then again, she appears to be looking at Humbert’s crotch.

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Me: None of this is even relevant idgaf. 
Thirteen: White Wall Simulator: The Game! 
Me: Dude I’m pretty sure even that would be more entertaining than this. We could like, paint it white again. Watch the paint dry. In real time. For ten hours. 
Thirteen: Diligently watch to make sure nothing mars its perfect whiteness.
Me: And not bone down on our obviously not 18-year-old daughter. 
Thirteen: The most important part of it, one could argue

The delivery guy comes. They’re at a table. Dildos in the background on a desk next to a shitty laptop. 

Thirteen:  Oh we moved to the dildo room, that’s good something…
Thirteen: Runaway just came on my media player and I am Uncomfortable.

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Me: AND THIS IS AN OPTION. AGAIN HUMBERT, WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WERE YOU GOING TO DO? 
Thirteen: Is her shirt fucking glued to her ribcage or something?
Me: Yes.
Thirteen: *in background, disgusted*  (oooooh, she’s a little runaway / daddy’s girl learned fast, all those things he couldn’t say)

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Me: *THROWS COMPUTER OUT WINDOW*
Thirteen: We return to White Wall Simulator: The Game, already in progress.
Me: THAT IS OBVIOUSLY A DOOR, HUMBERT. 
Thirteen: He gets confused.

It was obviously the delivery guy. Humbert still cocks the entire thing up and it’s like 15 more clicks before he even takes his head out of his ass long enough to open the fucking door. 

Thirteen:  At this rate I’m surprised he managed to find the right hole on his wife. So the good news is he’s just making it easier for us to try and prevent this atrocity from happening.

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Me: OH LOOK. PLANET OF THE APES. 
Thirteen: LOL
Thirteen: That is totally some dude with a frozen pizza
Thirteen: The “delivery guy” is just his neighbor isn’t he?
Thirteen: And he’s tired of trying to convince Humbert he doesn’t even WORK in a pizza place
Thirteen: So he just brings a frozen pizza over.
Me: Sorry Paolo, you look vaguely Italian and vaguely ape-like so you obviously deliver pizza. 
Thirteen:  I just noticed that box says “Italian style” and I am just laughing my ass off over here.

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Me: This is STILL going on 
Thirteen: Also that’s a great way to hold a pizza if you want all the toppings ooze into one corner
Thirteen: Furthering my theory that it’s frozen.

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Me: WHY ARE YOU INVITING HIM IN, HUMBERT? JUST TAKE THE FUCKING PIZZA. 
Thirteen:  What the fuck???
Thirteen: Are you going to pay him with Lolita?? 
Humbert: EY YO LO. I AIN’T GOT NO CASHOLA ON ME SO I NEED YOU TO GIVE PAOLO HERE A BLOWIE. 
Thirteen: Thanks, now I’m trying not to wake the house up with my hyena shrieking 
Me: You’re welcome.

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Paolo: That is is completely un-fucking-orthodox of you to invite me into your fucking apartment. Also I’m your neighbor and this pizza is frozen. 
Paolo: Also, what’s with the jailbait hooker? 
Paolo: Also nice stilts, sir. 
Thirteen: Seriously this camera is fucked.

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Me: *SLIDES OUT OF CHAIR ONTO FLOOR* *RUBS DIRT INTO EYES* *SCREAMS FOR DEATH TO COME AT ME BRO*
Paolo: …you know, for jailbait. I am calling the cops the second I get out of this pedo den. 

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Me: Paolo’s face is really unsettling. 
Thirteen: Such is his fate, being in this…thing.

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Me: OH STARS IT GOT WORSE.
Thirteen: Paolo your face is…doing…something terrible. I think your eyebrows might be trying to escape. 
Me: I love how we just silently agreed to call him Paolo. 
Thirteen:  Well it was that or we call him “delivery guy” which 1) is too long and 2) he isn’t anyway.

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Me: AUGH PAOLO STOP BEING GROSS AND TERRIBLE AND LEAVE. WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?
Thirteen: Because Humbert invited him in to perv over Lolita, obviously.
Me: So he can swoop in and save her and do a fatherly fakeout by shoving his dick down her throat in place of Paolo’s Italian Sausage. 
Thirteen: Jesus, probably. 
Thirteen: You’re really dodging a bullet, Paolo. She likes dads. Namely, her own. Also, dogs, probably.

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Me: Gettin a little defensive there Humbert. 
Thirteen: He thought twice about the blowjob payment. 
Thirteen: Seriously though how tall is this cockwaffle? 
Thirteen: Or is he just surrounded by the shortest people he could find.

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Me: f u c k i n g  w h y 
Thirteen: Seriously man don’t do it, bitch is  n a s t y 
Me: DON’T STICK YOUR REAL ITALIAN SAUSAGE IN CRAZY, PAOLO.

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Me: DUDE. JUST DON’T INVITE YOUR WEIRD PIZZA DELIVERY GUYS INSIDE. 
Thirteen: Even if they ARE your neighbors just giving you a frozen pizza to shut you up.

Lolita seems to think he was a nice guy. Humbert gets all pissy about it. Calls Paolo a douche. 

“Those are the worst type honey. They have no respect for Women.” Blah blah blah. 

She’s so ~naive~. 

PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE’S TWELVE. AND NOT REALLY 18 AT ALL. 

Are you sure she wasn’t 2 when you last saw her, Humbert? Hm????

Thirteen: It would better explain why he didn’t recognize her at all. 
Thirteen: And like she’s not used to that bullshit with THOSE ta-tas. Well, except they’re fake.

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Me: * soul slowly slips from body*
Thirteen: eeeaaauuuggh never mind come back Paolo.

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Me: PLEASE STOP TALKING.
Thirteen: I wish you would both explode you disgusting creatures.

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Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN. “I WAS GOOD, WASN’T IT?” WHAT DID YOU DO, HUMBERT? 
Thirteen: -SCREECH- I’M GLAD WE MISSED IT.

Apparently there’s still more shit to do even after all this fucking time. 

*Break for working adults to go to sleep*

To be continued…

Video Game Mockaries: Dating My Daughter – Part 2

Hello again, everyone. I’ve returned from my venture out into the world and have devoured my rose petal ice cream only to return to this immediately when I come home. With 13 as my co-pilot and kuresoto, our number one fan. 

Me: *clears throat and cracks knuckles* let’s McFucking do this. 
Thirteen: I would say I am mentally prepared but I am not.
Thirteen: Bring it on.

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Me:  I love how “Father-daughter” is in quotations 
Thirteen:  I’ll just assume Humbert is already perving over her.

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Me:  UM. I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. 
Thirteen:  “Don’t act like a perv” IS NOT ADVICE THAT SHOULD EVER BE NECESSARY FOR THIS SCENARIO.
Me:  I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT THIS IS GOING TO BE LIKE. I’M TOO AFRAID TO “CLICK ANYWHERE TO CONTINUE” 
Thirteen:  Jesus, same. And I’m not even fucking playing it. 
Me: *CLOSES EYES AND CLICKS SOMEWHERE ON THE SCREEN*

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Me:  I stared at this for like…three minutes.
Me: What is that?
Me: are those hands? 
Thirteen: I think we’re looking at a POV looking down at his hands in his lap
Thirteen: And apparently he’s wearing skinny jeans.
Thirteen: Or has very hairy legs. 
Me:  Wait…is his leg bent? 
Thirteen:  Yes, I think. One foot tucked behind his ankle. 
Me: A++ art.

Okay so he just keeps going on and on about being nervous this part is boring as fuck.

Then this motherfucker has this long internal monologue about how there’s no reason to be nervous, bringing us here:

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Me:  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, HUMBERT? 
Thirteen:  I like how he’s hoverhanding his own hands
Thirteen: Even he doesn’t want to touch himself.

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Me:  You’d think he would have asked for like a picture or something? This is his fucking…daughter. 
Thirteen:  Yeah I mean you’d think they’d exchange that shit when she first made contact. 
Thirteen:  But I guess we can’t have the gross “surprise” of his boner popping up because she’s ~so hot~. 
Me:  AUGH. Of COURSE THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. 
Thirteen:  What else did you expect? 
Me:  For me to never ever be playing a “game” like this. 
Thirteen:  Well, yes.

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Me: Yeah, you’d like that. Wouldn’t you, Humbert?
Thirteen:  I hate myself for immediately thinking “~and bad girls need to be punished!~” 
Me:  I think we need to consider getting you professional help for your apparent internet addiction. 
Thirteen:  No I’m just a terrible person.

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Me:  Has…has he been saying all of this out loud? 
Thirteen:  Pfft hahahaahah 
Thirteen:  Apparently so.
Me:  I’m just imagining some old lady sitting next to him and clutching her purse tighter next to her. 
Thirteen:  Dude, same, old lady. Same.

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Me:  I wish he’d stop calling it that. At this point he’s still talking out loud and the old lady is getting her ass up to leave. 
Thirteen:  I wouldn’t even mind the “date” thing except I know it’s inevitably leading up to its disgusting, sticky conclusion. 
Me:  With optional bestiality.
Thirteen:  Oh yes
Thirteen: Of course
Thirteen: Can’t forget that shit
Thirteen: No matter how hard I try.

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Me:  THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS STILL AT HOME? WHAT THE FUCK. 
Thirteen:  Admiring his dildo pile 
Me:  This whole time I thought he was waiting at the airport or some shit. No he’s just staring at his giant pile of dildos. 
Me:  And ominous shadow in his TV. 
Thirteen:  Perhaps it’s a Shadowman come to claim him. But unlikely. Even they want nothing to do with this. 
Me:  They’re probably drawing straws to get to see who had to drag his ass down to hell.

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Me: door. bells.
Thirteen:  It Begins.

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Me:  It did this weird shaky animation and I was like what is happening.
Thirteen:  When did we move from dildo room to the kitchen 
Me:  After the earthquake. 
Thirteen:  And man that is one obnoxious-looking kitchen 
Thirteen:  I’d hate to try and navigate it during Thanksgiving or some shit.
Me:  I mean he does live alone. Not even his only daughter wanted to see him on holidays. So I assume he spends thanksgiving like looking at daddy daughter porn or some shit. 
Thirteen:  And eating week-old KFC.
Me:  Because grease makes great lube. 
Thirteen:  Plus who can get enough of the erotic scent of fried chicken?

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Me:  I wanna punch him in the face. 
Thirteen:  Lazy, perhaps. Disgusting, yes. An ass, absolutely.

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Me:  Ah yes. Door bells. This is obviously how it’s said. 
Thirteen:  Onomatopoeias are myths invented by the liberals. 
Me: Let her in, man. 
Thirteen:  Or don’t!
Thirteen: And save everyone!

Then Humbert is useless and it takes him like 900 more years to open the door. He keeps having dumb conversations with himself about how he hopes his daughter likes his house or some other dumb shit like how nervous he is. 

Thirteen:  Unfortunately, she did not just walk off. 

And then: 

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Me:  Woe I must venture through the valley of the shadow of incest in order to let in this man’s daughter. 
Thirteen:  Godspeed, you crazy motherfucker.

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Me:  OH MY GOD HUMBERT IS THERE A WORLD IN WHICH YOU’RE NOT USELESS. 
Thirteen:  Probably the same one where he isn’t disgusting.
Thirteen: So
Thirteen: no 
Me:  LOCAL MAN CONTINUES TO MONOLOGUE INSTEAD OF LETTING HIS DAUGHTER INTO HIS HOUSE AND SHE GETS KIDNAPPED BY LOCAL HOOLIGANS. THE END. 
Thirteen:  STRANGELY, IT TURNS OUT BETTER FOR HER.

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Me:  THIS GIRL IS TWELVE.
Thirteen:  The Lolita theme fits then! 
Thirteen:  Oh but, ~she’s 18~! Totally legal! 
Thirteen:  Jesus that face is creepy and chipmunky. 
Me:  Plus her body looks all sorts of deformed. Also where is her luggage?
Thirteen:  what do you think her “boobs” are?
Me: WELP. FULL SPEED AHEAD, I GUESS. 

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Me:  noooooo you’re not. 
Thirteen:  I wanted to say “I bet you are, Lolita” but since we actually named them that it’s not even a joke.
Me:  Nothing is funny and everything hurts. 
Thirteen:  And just think, we choose this. And by “we” I mean “you”. 
Me:  Well. You didn’t even try to stop me so. 
Thirteen:  Okay fair
Thirteen: But still
Thirteen: Like you would have listened.
Me:  I wouldn’t have. You’re right. 
Thirteen:  …also, does this look like a hotel to you? Because it does to me. 
Me:  Yes, it does look like a creepy pedo hotel. 
Thirteen:  Man, she probably caught the eye of every one of his pedo neighbors.
Me:   Quick, Humbert! Piss on her! Claim your property 
Thirteen:  Is that on the fetish list? 
Me:  I just thought “Unfortunately no” and idk what that says about me as a person. 
Thirteen:  Well, it would be better than the bestiality. Mildly. 

So they awkwardly converse in the hallway for a while. She introduces herself as his daughter. Blah blah blah more bullshit about “Wow look at how much you’ve grown”. I’m sorry for being so rude blah blah blah. 

To be continued…