Desdemona Wren’s Top 10 Books of 2019 (Let’s face it, 99% of these are gay)

Most of the books I read are either about queer life or by queer authors. So if they do include a romance, which I do generally like to see in stories because I love romantic subplots, the romance is usually queer or they’ve got a queer side romance.

From this list you’ll learn that I’m obsessed with coming of age stories and I read probably way too much YA, but since YA and NA are the genres I usually write for, that makes a lot of sense.

Below my ratings include both stars and rainbows. The stars are my general overall rating of the book (these will all be 5+ stars) and the rainbows are the overall queerness rating (rainbow ratings with a 3 and below only contain queer side romances and not a main romance ALSO rainbow ratings that include a purple heart have canon bisexual characters).

I also include one of my favorite quotes from the book and in lieu of a review, I’m just going to speak briefly about what each book meant to me. That way this blog doesn’t get too long. And if I’m being honest most of these books I never even reviewed because I’m about 40 book reviews behind.

So, without further ado, here is my top 10 reads of 2019 (they’re not all from 2019, I know, but shh).

10. This Time Will be Different by Mia Sugiura

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People talk about starting over after they’ve made a big mistake or a bad choice in life. But you can never really start over. You can’t fully reset. And I don’t think you should. There’s no point in dwelling on the past, but you can acknowledge it and try to make things better. Or try a new way, and know that this time will be different.

Description: Katsuyamas never quit—but seventeen-year-old CJ doesn’t even know where to start. She’s never lived up to her mom’s type A ambition, and she’s perfectly happy just helping her aunt, Hannah, at their family’s flower shop.

She doesn’t buy into Hannah’s romantic ideas about flowers and their hidden meanings, but when it comes to arranging the perfect bouquet, CJ discovers a knack she never knew she had. A skill she might even be proud of.

Then her mom decides to sell the shop—to the family who swindled CJ’s grandparents when thousands of Japanese Americans were sent to internment camps during WWII. Soon a rift threatens to splinter CJ’s family, friends, and their entire Northern California community; and for the first time, CJ has found something she wants to fight for.

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: The reason this book made it onto my list despite only have a queer side character is because the main character, CJ, struggles so much emotionally throughout the book and all of her mistakes and anger really made me identify with her. Also it’s set in San Jose and I’m a sucker for anything set in California.

9. Sadie by Courtney Summers

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“I can’t take another dead girl.”

Description: A missing girl on a journey of revenge. A Serial―like podcast following the clues she’s left behind. And an ending you won’t be able to stop talking about.

Sadie hasn’t had an easy life. Growing up on her own, she’s been raising her sister Mattie in an isolated small town, trying her best to provide a normal life and keep their heads above water.

But when Mattie is found dead, Sadie’s entire world crumbles. After a somewhat botched police investigation, Sadie is determined to bring her sister’s killer to justice and hits the road following a few meager clues to find him.

When West McCray―a radio personality working on a segment about small, forgotten towns in America―overhears Sadie’s story at a local gas station, he becomes obsessed with finding the missing girl. He starts his own podcast as he tracks Sadie’s journey, trying to figure out what happened, hoping to find her before it’s too late.

Courtney Summers has written the breakout book of her career. Sadie is propulsive and harrowing and will keep you riveted until the last page.

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: While there is bisexual representation in this book, the point of Sadie is not romance. The entire point of this book is that it’s literally just from start to finish incredible. It’s told from two differing points of view, one being a podcast, the other being the story Sadie herself tells. This resonated with me because I was a victim of childhood abuse and also sexual trauma. I spent most of this book openly weeping and every time they kept saying “I can’t take another dead girl” I got so scared and the ending literally just ripped my whole heart out.

8. With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo

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“And so at the age of four, I learned someone could cry from a happy memory.”

Description: With her daughter to care for and her abuela to help support, high school senior Emoni Santiago has to make the tough decisions, and do what must be done. The one place she can let her responsibilities go is in the kitchen, where she adds a little something magical to everything she cooks, turning her food into straight-up goodness. Still, she knows she doesn’t have enough time for her school’s new culinary arts class, doesn’t have the money for the class’s trip to Spain — and shouldn’t still be dreaming of someday working in a real kitchen. But even with all the rules she has for her life — and all the rules everyone expects her to play by — once Emoni starts cooking, her only real choice is to let her talent break free.

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: The reason I picked this up was in part, because of the gorgeous cover and also because it is so hard to find books with Black Puerto Rican rep. This story was so beautifully written and Emoni’s passion for cooking and for her daughter was so incredible to me. I just…I wanted a mom who would love me that much.

7. Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian

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“The most important four-letter word in our history will always be LOVE. That’s what we are fighting for. That’s who we are. Love is our legacy.”

Description: It’s 1989 in New York City, and for three teens, the world is changing.

Reza is an Iranian boy who has just moved to the city with his mother to live with his stepfather and stepbrother. He’s terrified that someone will guess the truth he can barely acknowledge about himself. Reza knows he’s gay, but all he knows of gay life are the media’s images of men dying of AIDS.

Judy is an aspiring fashion designer who worships her uncle Stephen, a gay man with AIDS who devotes his time to activism as a member of ACT UP. Judy has never imagined finding romance…until she falls for Reza and they start dating.

Art is Judy’s best friend, their school’s only out and proud teen. He’ll never be who his conservative parents want him to be, so he rebels by documenting the AIDS crisis through his photographs.

As Reza and Art grow closer, Reza struggles to find a way out of his deception that won’t break Judy’s heart–and destroy the most meaningful friendship he’s ever known.

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: How do I even begin to explain how much this book means to queer culture in America? I wept so openly while reading this book. There was so much about the AIDs crisis and the fear the queer community experienced during that time. Honestly this book was just heart-wrenching and so unbelievably important.

6. Reverie by Ryan La Sala

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“Just because something is imagined doesn’t mean it isn’t dangerous.”

“It’s just gay enough to work.”

Description: Inception meets The Magicians in the most imaginative YA debut of the year!

All Kane Montgomery knows for certain is that the police found him half-dead in the river. He can’t remember how he got there, what happened after, and why his life seems so different now. And it’s not just Kane who’s different, the world feels off, reality itself seems different.

As Kane pieces together clues, three almost-strangers claim to be his friends and the only people who can truly tell him what’s going on. But as he and the others are dragged into unimaginable worlds that materialize out of nowhere—the gym warps into a subterranean temple, a historical home nearby blooms into a Victorian romance rife with scandal and sorcery—Kane realizes that nothing in his life is an accident. And when a sinister force threatens to alter reality for good, they will have to do everything they can to stop it before it unravels everything they know.

This wildly imaginative debut explores what happens when the secret worlds that people hide within themselves come to light.

Get your copy here, on Amazon

What this book meant to me: Ryan La Sala basically owns my soul now. Everything about this book was poignant and just full of rich description. Honestly, this has got to be one of my favorite books I’ve ever read in my life. Which is why it’s on my list of top 10 from 2019. Hell, if I had to pick my top 10 of the decade, I’m pretty sure Reverie would make the cut. It is so rare I come across so richly woven queer-centric stories. I recommend this to everyone who loves good writing and questionable villains.

5. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

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“I can’t help it. I’m a Slytherin.”

And I’m the worst kind of Slytherin. I’m the kind who’s so stupidly in love with a Gryffindor, she can’t even function. I’m the Draco from some shitty Drarry fic that the author abandoned after four chapters.”

Description: Leah Burke—girl-band drummer, master of deadpan, and Simon Spier’s best friend from the award-winning Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda—takes center stage in this novel of first love and senior-year angst.

When it comes to drumming, Leah Burke is usually on beat—but real life isn’t always so rhythmic. An anomaly in her friend group, she’s the only child of a young, single mom, and her life is decidedly less privileged. She loves to draw but is too self-conscious to show it. And even though her mom knows she’s bisexual, she hasn’t mustered the courage to tell her friends—not even her openly gay BFF, Simon.

So Leah really doesn’t know what to do when her rock-solid friend group starts to fracture in unexpected ways. With prom and college on the horizon, tensions are running high. It’s hard for Leah to strike the right note while the people she loves are fighting—especially when she realizes she might love one of them more than she ever intended.

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: Leah’s experiences are so close to mine as a fat queer growing up in the deep south that this book has a special place in my heart. I love everything Becky Albertalli has ever written, honestly. Her stories are the kind of gay adventures I wish I’d been able to have growing up and Leah is my soulmate.

4. Slay by Brittney Morris

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“Je viens de la putain de toundra”

Description: By day, seventeen-year-old Kiera Johnson is an honors student, a math tutor, and one of the only Black kids at Jefferson Academy. But at home, she joins hundreds of thousands of Black gamers who duel worldwide as Nubian personas in the secret multiplayer online role-playing card game, SLAY. No one knows Kiera is the game developer, not her friends, her family, not even her boyfriend, Malcolm, who believes video games are partially responsible for the “downfall of the Black man.”

But when a teen in Kansas City is murdered over a dispute in the SLAY world, news of the game reaches mainstream media, and SLAY is labeled a racist, exclusionist, violent hub for thugs and criminals. Even worse, an anonymous troll infiltrates the game, threatening to sue Kiera for “anti-white discrimination.”

Driven to save the only world in which she can be herself, Kiera must preserve her secret identity and harness what it means to be unapologetically Black in a world intimidated by Blackness. But can she protect her game without losing herself in the process?

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: This book takes place in my hometown of Bellevue, WA and everything about it is incredible. I love the story of how Kiera is portrayed and how her creation of Slay gave people of color a place to be who they are in games. This book was very educational for me and it also spoke to a lot of what growing up in Bellevue is like. This book is so important, funny, and has a great story. I’m so glad I picked this up.

3. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

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“The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody.”

Description: Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend Khalil at the hands of a police officer. Khalil was unarmed.

Soon afterward, his death is a national headline. Some are calling him a thug, maybe even a drug dealer and a gangbanger. Protesters are taking to the streets in Khalil’s name. Some cops and the local drug lord try to intimidate Starr and her family. What everyone wants to know is: what really went down that night? And the only person alive who can answer that is Starr.

But what Starr does—or does not—say could upend her community. It could also endanger her life.

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: As soon as I finished reading this book I immediately went home and made my (now ex) boyfriend watch the movie with me. I cried from the very beginning of this book to the very end. It’s not technically a 2019 title, but since I didn’t read it until 2019, I’m putting it on this list. The struggles Starr and her family face throughout this novel completely gutted me and this book is just incredible. The way Angie Thomas tells this story through Starr’s eyes is breathtaking and the writing style stuck with me. It felt less like a book and more like living life through someone else’s eyes.

2. We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia

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“If we’re not all free, none of us are free.”

Description: At the Medio School for Girls, distinguished young women are trained for one of two roles in their polarized society. Depending on her specialization, a graduate will one day run a husband’s household or raise his children, but both are promised a life of comfort and luxury, far from the frequent political uprisings of the lower class. Daniela Vargas is the school’s top student, but her bright future depends upon no one discovering her darkest secret—that her pedigree is a lie. Her parents sacrificed everything to obtain forged identification papers so Dani could rise above her station. Now that her marriage to an important politico’s son is fast approaching, she must keep the truth hidden or be sent back to the fringes of society, where famine and poverty rule supreme.

On her graduation night, Dani seems to be in the clear, despite the surprises that unfold. But nothing prepares her for all the difficult choices she must make, especially when she is asked to spy for a resistance group desperately fighting to bring equality to Medio. Will Dani cling to the privilege her parents fought to win for her, or to give up everything she’s strived for in pursuit of a free Medio—and a chance at a forbidden love?

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: This book was basically everything I wanted out of 2019. Women helping women and falling in love. The enemies/rivals to lovers thing that happened between Carmen and Dani really spoke to my soul and Tehlor Kay Mejia blew me out of the water with her storytelling and world-building. This is honestly one of my favorite books I’ve read in a long time. I cannot wait for the sequel to come out next month!

Honorable Mention: All the Things We Do in the Dark by Saundra Mitchell

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“Everybody else gets to leave a mark on me. Why can’t I leave my own?”

Description: There’s no such thing as a secret.

SOMETHING happened to Ava. The curving scar on her face is proof. But Ava would rather keep that something hidden—buried deep in her heart and her soul.

She has her best friend Syd, and she has her tattoos—a colorful quilt, like a security blanket, over her whole body—and now, suddenly, she has Hailey. Beautiful, sweet Hailey, who seems to like Ava as much as she likes her. And Ava isn’t letting anything get in the way of finally, finally seeking peace. But in the woods on the outskirts of town, the traces of someone else’s secrets lie frozen, awaiting Ava’s discovery—and what Ava finds threatens to topple the carefully-constructed wall of normalcy that she’s spent years building. Secrets leave scars. But when the secret in question is not your own—do you ignore the truth and walk away? Or do you uncover it from its shallow grave, and let it reopen old wounds—wounds that have finally begun to heal?

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: This book hurt me. The experiences of the main character, Ava, are so similar to my own that I experienced a lot of flashbacks to my life as a child and a victim of pedophilia and sexual assault. I understood her so well and the way these things make you feel and shape you into the person you become. This book resonated with me so much I still think about it even though it’s been almost a whole year since I read it. Remembering Jane still tugs at my heartstrings.

*Also this is a special case. I believe the MC, Ava is canonically bisexual, but I think Mitchell preferred not to “label her” which I think is a cop-out so I didn’t mark the MC as canon bi.

1. Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

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“History, huh? Bet we could make some.”

And way too many others to name, but there’s a twitter account that tweets quotes from this book and I’m obsessed with it.

Description: What happens when America’s First Son falls in love with the Prince of Wales?

When his mother became President, Alex Claremont-Diaz was promptly cast as the American equivalent of a young royal. Handsome, charismatic, genius—his image is pure millennial-marketing gold for the White House. There’s only one problem: Alex has a beef with the actual prince, Henry, across the pond. And when the tabloids get hold of a photo involving an Alex-Henry altercation, U.S./British relations take a turn for the worse.

Heads of family, state, and other handlers devise a plan for damage control: staging a truce between the two rivals. What at first begins as a fake, Instragramable friendship grows deeper, and more dangerous, than either Alex or Henry could have imagined. Soon Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret romance with a surprisingly unstuffy Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations and begs the question: Can love save the world after all? Where do we find the courage, and the power, to be the people we are meant to be? And how can we learn to let our true colors shine through? Casey McQuiston’s Red, White & Royal Blue proves: true love isn’t always diplomatic.

Get your copy here, on Amazon.

What this book meant to me: I know this might be a little cliche to all of you, but this book was so unbelievably important to me that nothing else could’ve been number one. I don’t usually read and enjoy M/M books, but I picked this one up on a whim after seeing it advertised everywhere. And honestly? I’m glad I did. Reading a book about someone figuring out they’re bisexual after years of thinking they were straight and then launching into a wholly forbidden relationship with a prince? Yes, please. I loved everything about this book. I loved the sarcastic writing style, the characters, Henry and Alex’s complete inability to process their feelings because they’re both total idiots, and all the girls being like “Wow you’re all idiots.” 2019 and 2020 is going to be the year of all the queer books and Red, White, & Royal Blue is driving the ship.

Coming Home, A Kingdom Hearts Fanfiction

This was the first time in a long time that they had all wound up in the same place. In the same world. Under the same sky.

Kairi lay between them, the ocean roaring beneath them, breaking against the wooden dock. Destiny Islands hadn’t been the same without them. Kairi had tried to make a home for herself in their absence, but she had felt lost. But right now, laying between them, she felt a peace settle over her and knew this was what coming home felt like. What it felt like to truly be home.

None of them spoke, listening to the sound of the ocean, the calming roar of the waves as they curled and broke on the water’s surface, crashing into the shore.

The silence between them was heavy with unanswered questions and unspoken tales of their adventures. These were things they weren’t ready to share, not yet. Instead they were content to just be there, fingers entwined with hers, their eyes closed, hearts open.

Sora was the first to move, emboldened by his adventures, he propped himself up on his elbow. While Riku lay still, his own (mistakes) adventures had left him shy, silent, secretive.

Kairi tilted her head just so, taking in the sight of Sora moving closer to her. He watched her, eyes locked. Her lips twitched upwards in a soft smile that was almost expectant . It had been too long . Sora sighed, sounding so content .

He leaned forward then, and Kairi’s eyes fluttered, mouth watering. Sora chuckled softly at her, untangling his fingers from hers and letting his hand glide featherlight over her stomach. Kairi took in a sharp breath, goosebumps prickling on her skin where he touched her.

Sora moved his hand further, finding where her fingers met Riku’s and pulled them apart. Neither of them protested, watching in silence as Sora laced their fingers together. Riku turned, rolling his whole body over onto it’s side. His head was tilted to the side, long silver hair falling into his face.

Sora smirked, moving himself to sit up better, moving his arm from beneath him and pushing Riku’s hair out of his face, behind his ear. They both glanced down at Kairi then. Her breathing was faster, face flushed as she waited.

Then, without uttering a single word, Sora placed his hand back down to steady himself, and leaned across her to capture Riku’s lips with his own.

They kissed soft and slow, lips meeting again and again as if they were made to fit together. Every time their mouths met, lips moving together, felt like an unspoken promise.

I love you , it said in every tilt of Riku’s head, every gasp from Sora’s lips, every time they moved just a little bit closer.

But it wasn’t enough, they still had so much more to say and to give to one another. To her.

Their hands parted, finding hers again. They held onto her like she was the only thing keeping them from floating away. She held them back, her hands stroking up and down their arms, eyes locked on where their lips were joined.

She felt her stomach flip with excitement and anticipation, her heart racing. She bit her tongue to hide a moan, not ready to let them know just how much this was affecting her.

Riku was first to pull away, panting. He looked properly kissed, lips swollen, hair mussed and falling over his face again. His cheeks were flushed, pupils dilated. He turned his gaze down at Kairi.

Sora was first again, moving away from Riku and pressing his lips to her throat, his tongue pressing against her pulse point. He trailed his tongue along her skin, from her pulse to her jaw, to her ear. She shivered beneath him, gasping when he sucked her earlobe into his mouth. He ran his teeth along the sensitive flesh, coaxing a soft moan from her lips.

Sora locked eyes with Riku, a silent challenge passing between them.

Then Riku descended on her as well. His mouth found her jaw, peppering kisses across her jaw line, then along her cheek to the corner of her eye.

Kairi gasped and giggled, the sensation of both of them pressing kisses to her skin was overwhelming. But she knew it was just the beginning.

Riku’s hand parted from hers to her waist, pushing up the hem of her soft cotton shirt to reveal her navel. Kairi’s breaths came in short pants now, his touch leaving fire in it’s wake. He let the fabric of her shirt settle just beneath her breasts, moving his hand up farther between them, over her collarbone, to rest on her throat.

He could feel her erratic pulse beneath his fingertips, if the smirk forming on his lips was any indication. Kairi’s face flushed a deeper shade of red.

He used two fingers to tilt her head towards him, his hand moving to caress her neck. Kairi raised her own hand up unconsciously, brushing the back of Riku’s hand.

Sora watched the two of them in silence, his gaze sharp and curious.

Riku leaned down then, his gaze locked on Sora’s. Kairi watched them both, the heat and despite that passed between them made her squirm.

Riku kissed her and her eyes fluttered closed. She felt warmth pooling between her legs and she moaned, long and low, into Riku’s mouth, He chuckled, never once moving his lips from hers.

Sora let out a breath, and Kairi could hear him moving next to her. She could feel the fabric of the blanket they had laid out beneath them, stretching and tugging as he resituated. He was driving her to distraction, wondering what he was planning to do.

Riku pressed his thumb into the center of her throat, bringing her attention back to him. She hummed against his mouth in apology, moving her hand away from where his rested on her throat to run her fingers through his hair.

Then she found out why Sora had moved.

He pressed his mouth to her stomach, peppering open mouthed kisses over her skin. Kairi whimpered in surprise, jerking at the sudden feeling of him kissing her there. Sora and Riku laughed at the same time, Sora pressing his hand against her diaphragm to hold her still. Then he descended on her again, nipping at her flesh and causing her to gasp and jerk again. But this time he had a handle on her, pressing her down flat against the dock.

She moaned, breaking her lips away from Riku’s to tilt her head back. Riku growled in frustration, pulling her mouth back to his for another kiss. Kairi couldn’t focus on kissing him back, Sora’s tongue tracing circles around her navel.

She was gasping and panting, pressing her thighs together hard to gain some relief. She pulled at Riku’s hair, ignoring his sharp intake of breath. Her body already knew what was coming next and it wanted it desperately. But knowing Sora and Riku they were going to take their time.

She pulled Riku’s hair again when Sora moved lower, letting his tongue dip beneath the waistband of her shorts.

Riku groaned, dipping his head and biting her throat, hard in warning. She moaned at the feeling of his teeth biting into her flesh and bucked her hips upwards. She had to bite back a please on her lips, teeth coming down hard on her tongue.

She wouldn’t beg.

Sora pulled away from her then and her eyes fluttered open, beginning to protest. But they were both watching her, leaning across her to undress each other. This was the part that always drove her wild.

Watching with wide eyes as Riku pushed his hands into Sora’s shirt, pushing it up slowly, his hands tracing over every inch of Sora’s skin. Sora was driven back on his knees, panting at the feeling of Riku’s hands on his skin. Riku ran the pads of his index fingers over Sora’s nipples, rolling them until they were hard against his fingertips. Sora tilted his head back and moaned, arching his back, pressing his chest into Riku’s hands. Riku hummed in response, ripping the shirt over Sora’s head and pressing his mouth against the other man’s nipples. He sucked and lapped at them until Sora was a mess of moans and gasps, hips jerking upwards.

The sound of Riku’s shirt unzipping was next, Sora watched her while he dragged the zipper down low, exposing Riku’s chest and abdomen. They did this so slowly, Kairi wanted to scream. The had already driven her half crazy with desire, but they weren’t anywhere close to giving in to her. Not yet.

Sora didn’t focus his attentions on Riku’s chest, instead leaning over her to bite and suck at Riku’s abdomen. Kairi watched with interest, Sora’s hands finding the buckle of Riku’s belt and undoing it, yanking the belt from his pants in one swift motion.

Riku laughed in surprise, pressing his hands against Sora’s shoulders to steady himself.

Sora unbuttoned Riku’s trousers, tilting his head back to make eye contact with him as he lowered the zipper and inevitably pulled them down. Kairi watched Riku’s trousers moving lower, barring his skin. Sora left them to settle low on his hips, ignoring Kairi’s frustrated growl.

He pressed his hand into the front of Riku’s pants, cupping him in his hand.

Riku cursed, hips bucking into Sora’s hand, fingernails biting into his shoulders.

Sora rose, pressing his face into Riku’s shoulder, pressing kisses to his throat and chest while his hand worked Riku in his pants. He was whispering things against Riku’s throat, soft encouragements, begging him not to come too soon.

Kairi dug her fingernails into her stomach, her whole body trembling with need from just watching them. She would not touch herself, she had better control than that. Or that was what she told herself.

Riku pushed Sora’s hand away, his eyes shut tight. He was panting, sweat beading on his forehead. He was a million miles away from both of them, focussed on trying to keep himself under control. It had been too long since Sora touched him like that, he’d lost any stamina he’d built up to it.

Sora laughed at him, bringing him back to reality.

Riku growled in response, lunging for the clasp to Sora’s pants. He undid his belt quickly, not bothering to remove it. Instead, he focused on unbuttoning and unzipping Sora’s own pants. Riku was moving quickly now, a man on a mission.

Kairi pressed her fingers into her lower abdomen hard, slipping just beneath the waistband of her shorts. Sora locked eyes with her, watching, daring her to touch herself. She let out a strangled, frustrated noise, tears prickling in her eyes.

She brought both of her hands up, pressing them against her forehead. She squirmed beneath them, rubbing her legs together to try and get some relief.

Then Sora let out a startled gasp, calling her attention back to him and Riku and away from her own frustration. Riku had pulled Sora’s trousers down to his knees, exposing his hard length completely.

Kairi supposed the teasing had gone out the window, the moment Riku had almost come into Sora’s hand. She gripped the fabric of her shirt hard, watching.

Riku reached down, cupping Sora’s balls in his hand, squeezing and twisting them in his hand. Sora’s breath sped up, eyes wide. Then Riku extended himself further, bracing himself with one hand on the other side of her knee.

His mouth was so close to Sora’s cock now. He licked his lips, pressing them against the tip of Sora’s length once before pulling away, a string of precum stuck between them. Sora’s abdominal muscles jerked, making his cock jump in front of Riku.

Riku squeezed Sora’s balls again, his tongue lapping at the tip of his cock. Sora’s hands were clenched into fists by his side. His eyes were closed tight.

Riku released him and pulled away, leaving Sora knelt there, panting with his face flushed. Then, he turned his attention on Kairi. He crawled over top of her, his body hovering just above where she lay and he kissed her soundly. She gasped into his mouth, tongue darting out and tasting Sora on his lips.

Then he pulled away, kneeling between her legs and undoing the button of her shorts. He pulled them down without ceremony, dropping them next to her. She turned away from him then, looking over at Sora.

He was watching them, his cock still hard and throbbing. There was another bead of precum at the tip and Kairi reached her hand up, wanting to brush it off with her thumb. Riku scolded her, gripping both of her wrists in one of his hands and holding them over her head.

She made to protest, but it died on her lips when Riku pushed her panties to the side and slid one finger inside of her. She was so wet, one wasn’t enough, but she didn’t complain. Instead, she arched her back and moaned for him, her arms struggling beneath his grip.

Sora made a noise of frustration, drawing Kairi’s eyes back to him again. He was digging his nails into his thighs, gripping them hard to keep himself from touching his own cock.

Riku said something about patience, pushing another finger into her, moving her panties again to press his thumb into her clit. She moaned loud, hips bucking up into him. The pressure of his thumb on her clit was so delicious she almost came right then.

But just as soon as it came, it was gone again, Riku moved away from her, examining his fingers, wet from being inside of her. At first, she thinks he’s going to bring them to his mouth and lick them clean, but he doesn’t. Instead, he advances on Sora again, pressing his hand down between his legs, fingers circling his opening.

Sora bit down on his tongue, lurching forward slightly, his cock jumping again. Riku pressed a kiss to Sora’s hips, running his teeth along the sensitive skin there. Sora bucked into him, cock brushing the side of Riku’s face, leaving a line of precum from his jaw to his temple.

Riku gasped, hooking his finger and pressing it into Sora.

Sora cursed loudly, arching his back and squeezing his eyes shut tight. He tightened around Riku’s finger, his whole body tensing up at the feeling of him inside.

Riku steadied himself, gripping Sora’s cock in his other hand and closing his mouth around the tip. The noise that came from Sora’s mouth was halfway between a moan and a scream. His hands found Riku’s hair immediately, pulling hard.

Riku flicked his tongue against the head of Sora’s cock, working the base with his hand. He didn’t move his head at all. Instead he hollowed his cheeks and sucked at Sora hard, circling his tongue around him and working his ass all at the same time.

Sora whined and begged when he was close, pulling at Riku’s hair to get him to stop. Riku moved his hands away, but kept his mouth on him, head bobbing finally as he took in as much as he could of Sora’s length.

Sora was cursing loudly, whole body shaking with effort.

Riku stopped, pulling back from Sora with a wet ‘pop’.

Sora sighed in relief, nearly collapsing onto the dock.

Riku turned his hungry eyes onto her. Kairi’s nostrils flared, taking in a deep breath through her nose. Next to them, Sora caught his breath, raising his own eyes to look at her.

They were all a mess right now, of that she was absolutely certain. Sora’s hair was stuck to his forehead, slick with sweat. Riku’s own hair was mussed beyond repair, sticking up at odd angles from where both she and Sora had grabbed it. She could only imagine what she looked like beneath them, half naked and panting, her thighs slick and wet.

Sora moved first, despite the fact that he was still panting heavily. He lay down next to her, pushing her shirt up, past her breasts and exposing them to the ocean air. He took one of them into his mouth, tongue circling around her nipple, flicking against it any time she gasped and moaned.

Riku moved himself between her legs, pulling at her panties. She lifted her hips up to help him, watching over Sora’s head as he pulled them down and off.

Sora moved his hand away from her breasts down between her legs, spreading her apart with his fingers. He teased her there, his fingers circling her clit, but never actually touching her where she needed him.

She groaned, bucking up into his hand to chase her release. Sora merely moved his hand away whenever she tried, catching her nipple between his teeth as a warning. When she gave up, defeated, Sora moved his hand away, dragging her wetness over her stomach and back up to her breasts. He pinched her other nipple between his fingers, and she cried out his name.

Kairi could hardly take any more. This was too much teasing for how long they had been gone, she needed them to fuck her. Hard . No more of this almost but not quite nonsense.

She opened her mouth to tell them so, lifting her head up to look at them. But her breath caught in her throat when Riku dipped his head down between her legs, pressing the tip of his tongue to her clit.

Her whole body shook, every thought she ever had about how long they were taking, leaving her mind. She wrapped her legs around his shoulders and he muttered something, the vibrations of it sending a shock into her system. She was practically screaming now, so loud she was sure she’d alert half the island to what they were doing.

Neither of them shushed her.

Then, when Riku sucked her clit hard, she finally did scream; long and loud and keening as she came undone beneath him. Every muscle in her body tensed all at once, stars exploding behind her eyelids. Her whole body trembled and jerked and squeezed.

When she opened her eyes, both of her boys were staring down at her, a look of awe on their faces. Kairi blushed at the look of them and turned away.

But they weren’t done yet, that much she knew.

She was still panting when Sora pulled her up into his lap, parting her legs. She lay against him, letting him support her whole weight. She felt boneless after that orgasm, her whole body reduced to nothing but static.

Sora looked at her, his eyes questioning. She laughed a little and nuzzled her face into Sora’s neck, kissing him there in response.

Riku settled himself behind her, ripping open a foil packet and reaching around her, gripping Sora in his hands and rolling a condom down his length. Sora’s muscles tensed, cock jumping against her belly.

Behind her Riku pulled his pants lower, the buttons clinking against the dock, and tore open another packet.

She straightened up between them, Sora guiding her over him and easing himself inside of her. He gripped her hips and pulled her close to him, his eyes locking with Riku’s over her shoulder. He nodded at him, pressing his fingers into her ass. She jumped at first, the cold sensation of lubricant making contact with the head of her skin.

Sora whispered reassurances into her ear, his hand smoothing out her hair.

She moaned softly, one of Riku’s fingers pressing inside of her as Sora rocked up into her.

Riku pressed his other hand into her lower back, easing her forward just a little, his finger moving in and out of her slowly. She tensed, clenching around both of them, earning soft moans from them both.

Sora whispered something against her skin, and she felt her stomach flutter, her whole body relaxing again.

Riku pressed a second finger inside of her.

She tensed again, whimpering as he scissored his fingers inside of her. She dug her fingernails into Sora’s back, toes curling.

Sora smoothed his hand over her hair again, capturing his lips with her own. He kissed her soft and slow, the same way he had kissed Riku above her. She moaned into his mouth, bucking her hips against him.

He felt so good inside of her, but it still wasn’t enough .

She voiced her need, begging them both with soft little please, please, please ’s falling from her lips. Riku pulled his fingers from her slowly, replacing them with the tip of his cock. He pushed her forward again, even further so that Sora would have to lay down on his back to accommodate her. He complied readily, laying back and gripping Kairi’s hips to steady her. She braced her hands against Sora’s chest.

Riku buried himself inside of her, his cock twitching at the feeling. Kairi moaned, fingernails cutting into Sora’s skin.

He cursed beneath her, arching his back at the feeling of Riku’s cock sliding in and out of her. It pressed against him, moving along the length of his own cock, inside of her. Beneath her, Sora was paralyzed, her whole weight pressed down against him. He was at her mercy, living for the moments when she rolled her hips against him.

He could feel the pressure building inside of him, the intense pleasure of both Kairi and Riku moving against him. He couldn’t think about anything else other than where they were joined, the feeling of Riku against him, the way Kairi clenched around him every time Riku pushed in and out of her.

He started out slow, the pace almost insulting after how long their had all waited. Then, he gripped Kairi’s hair, pulling her head back and fucked her hard . Sora could feel the punishing pace of Riku’s cock, the way Kairi’s hips rolled and stuttered against him, hardly able to move.

He was so close.

They all knew it wasn’t going to take long, they had hardly controlled themselves during foreplay.

Riku was shouting something above them, Kairi shouting back. Sora’s ears were ringing, his eyes shut so tight he saw stars. He grabbed Kairi at the waist, crushing her against him and fucking up into her. He just needed a little more .

Kairi gasped and moaned and cried against him all at once, her face pressed into his chest.

He felt Riku reach down between them, brushing his hand against Sora’s length, soft, featherlight touches that made his stomach muscles tighten in anticipation. Then he pressed his hand further between them, the pads of his index and middle finger just barely grazing against Kairi’s clit.

The position was awkward, Riku’s hand trapped between them, but it was effective.

Kairi came again with another long keening cry. It was muffled this time from where her face was pressed into his chest. She clenched around both of them, her muscles tight, body shaking once more.

Riku withdrew his hand moving his hips faster still, no longer concerned with her pleasure as she panted between them. His eyes locked with Sora’s, his hand traveling down between them, still slick with Kairi’s cum.

He pressed his finger into Sora, eyes still locked on one another. Sora clenched around him, his muscles tightening. Riku moaned and winced at the feel of him, pressing his finger deeper hooking it inside of him, pressing hard against where Sora needed him most.

Sora came hard, biting his own arm to muffle the shout and Riku followed him down.

“F- fuck ,” Sora whispered beneath them, slick with sweat.

Riku pulled out of her slowly, a hand on her back to steady himself. Then he leaned back on his knees and to catch his breath. Kairi moved next, a bit shakily, pulling herself up and freeing Sora from inside of her. He looked at her gratefully, rolling onto his side and breathing hard.

She pulled her shirt back down over her breasts, but didn’t bother looking for any more of her clothes. She was too tired for that right now.

“Seconded,” Riku responded to Sora’s earlier statement. Kairi smiled, letting herself fall back onto the dock. Sora and Riku both busied themselves with pulling up their trousers then, making themselves look halfway decent just in case someone had overheard them.

“I’ve missed you two,” she said, her voice soft and filled with emotion, “this place just doesn’t feel like home without you here.”

Flash Fiction: Silver & Sunlight

From Mine, 13’s, and Ariel LeAnn’s Asylum Wolves Story.

Darien is the first vampire he’s ever seen. He had no idea they would be so beautiful. Daciana and Areynn had always warned him away from them, the clans in the city didn’t get along with wolves, after all.

But he couldn’t help it. He was curious.

Darien Taylor was by far the most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on. He had long silver hair and pale greyish skin that made him look godlike. Faizeel supposed that was the point of vampires. To look pretty so they could entice their prey to come to them.

Werewolves were different. At least, in Faizeel’s experience. Instead of preying on people they generally preferred animals. Or at least he did when he was hunting. He hadn’t been a wolf long enough to consider humans prey just yet.

Hell, four months ago he was human himself. He wouldn’t want to be eaten by some giant hell beast. So he would stick to moose for now.

“Greetings,” a man’s voice said from beside him. It was low and filled with amusement.

Faizeel nearly jumped out of his skin. When had Darien gotten beside him?

“For a wolf you’re not very observant,” Darien said.

“Wh-what?” Faizeel stammered, completely caught off guard.

Darien rested his hand on the wall beside Faizeel’s face and leaned into him. His eyes were bright red with a hint of black around the iris. “What brings you out here, wolf?” Darien looked him up and down, gaze lingering on his throat a little too long.

“Isn’t your kind nocturnal?” His gaze flicked back up from Fai’s throat to meet his eyes. He bit his lip, a hint of fang poking out.

“I could say the same thing about your kind, bat.” Fai snarled.

Darien straightened up and flashed him an easy smile. “Bat!” He guffawed, almost taken aback. “I suppose I should have expected that.”

Faizeel narrowed his eyes at him and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret though, wolf,” Darien said, exposing his fangs, “Vampires don’t actually turn into bats. Or, at least not all species of vampires. Most turn into mist or wind or something equally as useless. Teleporting would have been so much easier.” He looked wistful.

“There’s more than one species of vampire?” Faizeel asked.

Darien chuckled. “Of course. There are also multiple species of werewolves. Different species evolve in different ways.”

Faizeel hadn’t thought of it that way. Daciana and Areynn had told him there were other wolves out there that were different from them, but he just thought it had to do with what they ate. He never thought there could be an evolutionary thing.

“Your kind of werewolf is severely allergic to both silver and wolfsbane,” Darien continued, “There are species out there immune to both of those with a severe allergy to gold or even the sun depending.”

“I thought a sun allergy was a vampire thing.” Fai said.

Darien smirked at this. “I suppose that is an issue for some vampires, but.” he paused to gesture to the sun high in the sky, “Not all of them.” His gaze settled back on Fai before he continued in a low voice, “You have much to learn, pup.”

Faizeel felt goosebumps erupt on his skin. No one other than Daciana and Areynn had ever called him that before. Something about the way Darien said it made his stomach clench and head rise up in his cheeks.

“You should run along home now,” Darien said, flashing his fangs again, his eyes darting to Faizeel’s throat.

Faizeel’s heart pounded in his chest. Logically he knew he should leave. Vampires and werewolves didn’t mix. He had learned that from TV and books even before he was part of this world. Another part of him desperately wanted to know the feeling of Darien sinking his teeth deep into his neck and draining him dry.

“Do vampires have hypnosis?” Faizeel asked, biting the inside of his cheek, fighting against whatever urge Darien seemed to be pushing on him.

The vampire took in a deep breath, leaning closer. His lips brushed against the shell of Faizeel’s ear. He stroked his fingers over Fai’s arm from his elbow all the way down to his wrist and Fai shivered.

“You were mine the second you started watching me,” Darien whispered.