Don’t @ Me: The story of Helena Bram.

This year for NaNoWriMo I’m writing my very first YA novel. I’ve only done New Adult before this with main characters ranging from 19-24, but Helena Bram is 15.

I like to tell the stories of people who are a little older because 19-24 is where I did most of my own self-discovery. It’s when I went off to college and when I finally left my parents and family behind, but I realize that’s not normal. Most people do their self-discovery in their teen years.

But since I was preoccupied by being abused and not being able to really form my own opinions or sense of self, I sort of missed out on that. I think the only thing I really knew about who I was around this time, was that I wasn’t straight and also that I was deeply unhappy.

Enter Helena Bram. Helena is a 15-year-old nomad from Buffalo, New York who lives with her mother. Her father split a long time ago and she never hears from him, not even on her birthday.

This vaguely looks like her if she were a lot older and a lot prettier (also you can tell this game was made by a man and that says a lot)

At the beginning of the story, her mother has moved the two of them across the state of Tennessee from Memphis to Knoxville where she’s the “new girl” again. She hasn’t been able to put roots down anywhere, nor does she have any friends.

The only thing she does have is a strange and wonderful connection to Best Buy. She waxes poetic about how it’s the only constant in her life other than the fact her mother will uproot them or her father will always forget her birthday. All Best Buys no matter where you are, stay exactly the same.

It is in irrefutable truth.

The Best Buy in Knoxville is no different than the Best Buy in Memphis and that’s the sort of stability she craves in her life. As she browses the store, though, she happens upon a table she’s never seen before. Not in any Best Buy she’s loitered in across the East Coast.

That’s when she discovers Twitter. In 2023. When she’s stuck in 2005.

She becomes obsessed with the possibility of it, seeing into the future through a flat brick of a phone and she spends far too much time in Best Buy talking to people she doesn’t know and ultimately falling in love with a celebrity.

For a long time this is all she has.

Until she meets Celine.

This is, of course, a coming of age F/F novel written partially about my own childhood, but with elements of science fiction and fantasy in an otherwise mind-numbingly normal world.

I really hope I can pull this off.

Tomorrow I’ll be posting the first 2,000 words I’ve written over on my Patreon, for my $1 subscribers.

If you haven’t become my Patron yet, I’d recommend joining. Since I will also be posting Chapter 2 & 3 of Rhinoverse this month for my $5 Patrons.

This Site Uses Referral Links

Here is your periodic reminder that I use Amazon Referral links on my site. So any of the book links you click, whether they’re mine or someone elses, are referral links.

This is helpful to boost my site SEO, find new readers, and also be useful in the eyes of Amazon.

When I move my blog in the next month to my actual site domain, there will be a dedicated little blurb at the bottom of the page stating this so I won’t have to do a blog every now and then about it, but until then this is how we do it.

Mainly because charges like $500 a year for custom CSS/Widgets. It’s total bullshit.

But I use referral links! So if you buy stuff I get like 10 cents in my Amazon Associates account. But it’ll probably get taken because of fees or something.

5 years in 5 months

She awoke with a fragile heart, lashes fluttering in the darkness, bleary and still sleep-eyed.  Her chest felt hollow, broken, and fragile in so many ways.  Her tongue dry, throat raw, eyes burning with the sting of so many tears.  She slid out of the bed, placing her feet on the hardwood floor, swaying some before catching her balance.

Her body felt heavy, as if she were covered with a lead apron as she walked to her bedroom door.  Everything around her seemed to move slowly and almost backward.  If only time really could move backwards.

Her heart throbbed in her chest, broken.  A constant reminder of the night’s events.  A reminder that she would rather be dead then opening her bedroom door and heading to the bathroom to begin her normal morning routine.  Nothing felt normal anymore.  It all felt as if it were upside down, as if she were walking on the ceiling, weighted to it by agony and despair.

She opened the shower curtain, turning the water on and trying to ignore the burning, aching feeling in her chest.  She had so much to do today, so many things that she didn’t even want to start.  Work, school, volunteer work, meetings, friends…friends.  Her heart ached in her chest and tears sprung in her eyes.  She clutched at the fabric of her shirt and whimpered.

Friends.  The word played in her head as a harsh whisper, over and over again.  Her heart pounded and bile rose up in her throat, constricting, choking.

Five months had passed.  Five whole months and she still held onto the idea, the fantasy, the lies he fed her.  Since June she had thought they were still in love.  Truly, madly, deeply because that was how he lead her.  But by September she knew that love wasn’t real.  Five years of love still inhabited her heart, pouring out in beautiful words and promises that he ignored.

Yet, he still lied to her until September.  He still used her, manipulated her into being so broken she went to someone unlikely for comfort, companionship, friendship.  And she found it in one night of desperation.  A 41 minute phone call full of tears and hiccups and apologies.

But she still loved him, without conditions and freely.  His lies, manipulations, and broken promises didn’t change what was in her heart as much as she needed it to.  How could she possibly love someone who lied, cheated and left her broken in so many different ways.  Apparently, just to make her happy and keep her begging, loneliness and childishness at bay.  Hidden behind his comfort and humanity.

“I was just doing you a favor,” he whispers, so harsh he’s almost spitting it, “I don’t love you.”

And she falls again, cutting deep and broken standing beneath the hot water of she shower.  She tries to shake the feeling, rising in her stomach, her chest, from her lips, but it escapes in five damned words.

“I will always love you.”

Pompeii: Chapter 2 (This is my most viewed fic on AO3)


Summary: There’s something very wrong with Pompeii and it isn’t just accurate predictions.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who

Notes: I know it took a long time to update, but I post blurbs once a week on my blog so if you really wanted to keep up with it you could read it there. Keroseneandgin WordPress.

Part XII – Twelve

He wasn’t quite sure how Rose Tyler ended up in this previous self’s TARDIS. He knew for fact what happened between them and what happened to Donna and obviously Rose looked way too young to have been in the time line where he had seen her again after Bad Wolf Bay. So, of course, he needed answers.

How could Rose possibly have been in Pompeii if not with his younger self and Donna? And how could she not even recognize his younger self? That was the most intriguing part of this. Because he knew how he was in his pin striped form and he would have never brought Donna to a place where another of his incarnations would have been. He swore he’d never do that again since Rose tried to bring about the end of the world in the late ’80s.

Of course he had later on when he had gone quite mad in his most recent form. Which led to quite a few interesting occurrences. The most interesting of which had been with River Song. He sighed at that thought. River Song had been a brilliant woman and she always knew what would happen next. He had been so lost without her for so many years after her death. He had been lost without Rose too.

He followed them from a distance, keeping to the shadows and watching as his younger self and Donna tried to talk to Rose. Of course, he had royally cocked that up and sent Rose running off into the middle of the night again, but they had to fix this somehow didn’t they? After all, he was still here and he could still remember Rose standing on that beach looking beautiful and his hearts aching when she kissed his clone.

That was one of the hardest things he had done. Giving Rose Tyler up to, well, himself on that beach so long ago. But without a doubt in his mind he knew even now she was happy. Or at least she would be as soon as he figured out how to get her out of Pompeii before they all died.

Part XIII – The Beach

Rose searched frantically for where The Doctor had parked his TARDIS earlier that day, but it was so dark she couldn’t see anything. She searched the pockets of her jacket to try and find a torch but to no avail. When it got too dark to see her hands in front of her face she turned around.

By now she knew her Doctor would be searching for her in the city and would undoubtedly be angry she had been gone so long. Especially considering the tremors from the volcano she had been feeling throughout the day.

The people of Pompeii were terrified in those few moments but seemed oblivious to the tremors afterword. As if someone had been reassuring them nothing bad would come of it. She knew it would only get worse. Until the people of Pompeii all died. Unable to be saved, even for The Doctor.

“Doctor?” she called out in the semi-lit streets of the bazaar. A few people stared at her. It was getting late and she knew she would have to find somewhere to stay soon if she wanted to get some rest. And since she couldn’t find her Doctor’s TARDIS the only other place she could think to stay was where she had met Donna and…she swallowed hard at the thought…The Doctor.

She couldn’t remember the way back to the house she had escaped the wrong TARDIS at, much to her dismay. So she wandered around for awhile, calling out to The Doctor (hoping at least one of them would show up) until her voice was hoarse and she was very nearly at the end of her rope.

She sobbed softly and sank to the ground next to an unfamiliar house behind some wooden crates. That’s when she heard it. People screaming, running through the streets and loud trembling footsteps. It sounded like a giant. Was volcano day happening already?

She stood to her feet quickly as the footsteps grew closer. She could barely make out the voices as she came from behind the crates to see what the commotion was. She didn’t even have time to process the situation when someone grabbed her hand, lacing fingers with hers and whispered loudly, “Run“.

And she did.

Part XIV – “Run”

He remembered doing this with her once before. Not quite with the same hand, but at least on the very same side of him. He lost that hand after his regeneration fighting the sycorax. It had been his favorite hand then, but this hand was becoming a very favorite of his now.

She held onto him tightly but didn’t even glance at him once. She kept her eyes trained forward so she wouldn’t trip and fall over the various obstacles in their way. He hoped that in every regeneration he had her hand would still fit perfectly in his.

The “monster” behind them, which was actually an “alien” called a Pyrovile was gaining on them. He heard Donna shout next to him, threatening to murder him in cold blood once they were finally safe again. He smiled, glancing over at her and then back at his Rose. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy.

Rose was smiling and laughing in-between breaths as they ran, the creature still gaining. He had almost forgotten how much she loved the dangerous bits of being with him. He felt his hearts warm and he smiled widely as they rounded the corner, creature crashing behind them.

“Get down!” He heard Quintus shout, throwing a bucket of water over their heads and onto the creature. It screamed and fell to the ground with a loud thump.

“Guess you can kill me then, Donna,” The Doctor said with a laugh, turning to his red headed companion only to realize she wasn’t there.

“Donna?” He asked, searching around frantically and tugging Rose along with him, not willing to let go of his pink and yellow human.

How long had she been missing?

Part XV – He Loves a Red Head, Our Doctor

“What the–” The red headed companion, Donna practically shrieked when Amy forced her into the “lair” of The Sisterhood. Amy bit her lip and stared at Donna. This was another one of his companions, another red headed companion. She wasn’t really sure how she felt about this. The Doctor didn’t talk about his past very much, but she found herself more than just a little jealous. And when was he going to tell her that his last self was so bloody hot? Especially for an older man. Well, not that much older than she was now…or he didn’t look that much older anyhow. She smirked to herself and licked her lips.

“Who the heck are you lot?” the red head asked, hands on her hips, bringing Amy’s attention away from the extremely attractive Doctor and back to reality, “If you think you can just kidnap me and not explain what the bloody hell is going on…” she continued, voice rising with every word. Amy sucked in a breath and grabbed her by the arm before anyone else could react and hauled her away from the watchful eyes of her sisters.

“Play along, okay?” Amy whispered harshly, trying to remain in character as much as possible, “I know about The Doctor.” Donna pulled away from her quickly and rolled her eyes.

“Of course you lot do,” she said, “I saw what your new seer did in that house, predicting the return of Rose. Givin’ him hope, then things go all pear shaped.”

“Rose?” Amy whispered, trying desperately to keep her voice down. Donna met her eyes and pursed her lips, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Rose,” she responded in a sassy tone, “you seers should already know about her, though. If any of you lot are worth anythin’.” Amy swallowed, and glanced at the other women in The Sisterhood. The rest of them seemed to understand, but she stood there, uncertain. She didn’t want them finding out she didn’t exactly belong, but this Donna was seriously getting close to blowing her cover. She needed to ask The Doctor about her and soon because she was not about to inhale those vapors and turn any more of herself into stone.

Part XVI – Rose Water

“Amy?” Rory answered before unceremoniously being flung to the ground of the TARDIS as The Doctor fiddled with something on the console. He let out a noise somewhere between a yelp and a frustrated yell as The Doctor shouted his apologies in the background.

“I need to talk to The Doctor,” Amy hissed immediately, voice barely above a whisper. Rory sighed.

“What no, ‘how are you doing Rory?’ or ‘I miss you’ or–” Amy growled.

“It’s an emergency, but I love you stupid face, now let me talk to The Doctor!” Rory smirked a little at the phone then before shouting to The Doctor that Amy was on the phone.

“Busy!” He shouted back, rushing around the console and checking the monitor.

“Amy says NOW ,” Rory said, using his best intimidation voice and tapping his foot impatiently. The Doctor glanced up from the console almost immediately and flipped a few levers before grabbing the phone from Rory.

“Hello, Pond,” The Doctor said brightly. Rory could hear slightly louder whisper-yelling coming from the phone as his wife admonished The Doctor for trying to put her off. He smirked and so did The Doctor as Amy very nearly tore him a new one.

Amy got quiet again, and Rory couldn’t quite hear what she was saying, but he watched curiously. The Doctor’s smirk faded, his eyes got glassy and his face paled. Rory had only seen him like that a handful of times and he could feel his heart rate speed up. Amy was in trouble, he knew it. Amy was in trouble and they couldn’t even land the TARDIS to help her.

When The Doctor finally spoke again, after a long moment of tortured silence, Rory was sweating.

“Rose…” He whispered, moving his mouth as if it couldn’t quite fit around the word. Rory raised his eyebrows, of all the things he expected The Doctor to say, he wasn’t quite expecting that.

“Sh-she was…” He watched The Doctor swallow hard and heard Amy demand he speak quicker from the receiver. He swallowed again, moving the phone to his other ear and trying very hard not to meet Rory’s gaze.

“Rose was…a friend…she was like you and Rory she uh, she traveled with me a long time ago.” The Doctor paused as Amy asked something else.

“Donna…” he said softly, eyes glassy, “she traveled with me too.” Amy demanded he tell her why Rose was so important. He turned his back to Rory then, voice soft as he answered.

“She’s Rose,” he responded sounding almost heartbroken, “my Rose.”

Part XVII – I Wont Leave Her

“I don’t mean to alarm you, Doc,” Jack began, walking close behind him on the beach away from where they had parked the TARDIS, “but we’re running out of time, that volcano is going to blow tomorrow morning and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. We have mere hours to find Rose, figure out what’s wrong with the TARDIS and get out of here.”

“You don’t think I know that?” He asked grumpily, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket, “The TARDIS wont budge and I can’t find Rose without her. We all might very well die here.” He turned and locked eyes with Jack in the darkness then.

“I know,” Jack said, acceptance in his tone.

“Good,” The Doctor replied solemnly, “because I wont leave her.” Jack smiled sadly at his statement and nodded even though The Doctor had already turned away from him.

“I wont either, Doc,” Jack whispered.

Part XVIII – Water Pistol

“Nobody here but us girls,” The Doctor said, looking pointedly at her and Donna to let her know now was the time to escape while he was distracting them. She watched him for a few more moments, not quite sure what happened to make him change, but knowing now wasn’t the time to question it. She grabbed Donna’s wrist then and tried to sneak out of the room, but one of the sisterhood caught her other hand.

She tried to yank it away, turning over her shoulder, ready to fight the woman off. But when she turned, the look on the woman’s face stopped her. She swallowed, letting go of Donna and staring at the woman’s sad expression.

“Rose Tyler,” she whispered softly before letting her eyes flick up to a very annoyed look on Donna’s face. The Doctor was still talking to the sisterhood, keeping their attention while she and Donna stood still, uncertain of what to do now they had been found out.

“Don’t you want to know how I know your name?” the woman whispered, same sad look on her face. She shook her head and let out a quiet breathy laugh.

“I’ve seen what you lot can do, thanks,” Rose said, finally freeing her hand from the woman’s tight grasp. This time the woman laughed softly.

“No,” She said, peeling back her shawl and showing them that she barely turned to stone, “I don’t have-” she made air quotes and Donna and Rose exchanged confused glances-“the sight.”

“Then how are you here?” She asked, gesturing at the sisterhood, “with them?” The woman sighed and shook her head, glancing back over at where things had begun to go a little pear shaped for The Doctor. The sisterhood was getting tired of his antics and it looked like something bad was about to happen.

“Later,” The woman said, fitting herself between Donna and Rose, “now we run.” She grabbed both their hands and they ran out of the room, sparing one last glance back at The Doctor, who defeated that creepy priestess with a water pistol.

She and Donna both laughed in awe, eyes meeting as they exclaimed, “I bloody love him!”

Part XIX – Nine

“Okay,” Rose said breathlessly when they stopped running just outside of the city where it met the beach, “tell us who you are.” Amy stared at the two women, lowering her hood and opening her mouth to speak just as the ground rumbled beneath them. The three women flailed a bit, nearly losing their balance.

When the tremor had passed, Amy opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by another voice with a heavy Northern accent.

“Rose?” The voice asked, almost shocked. Rose turned towards the voice, breaking out into a huge grin, her tongue stuck between her teeth. Amy and Donna turned, narrowing their eyes at a man dressed in a letter jacket over a jumper followed closely by a very attractive looking man in a trench coat.

“Oh, Rose,” the man said, moving faster toward their group, arms stretched towards her. Donna spoke first.

“Oi!” She said loudly, effectively stopping the man in his tracks, “and just who do you think you are?” She stepped in front of Rose protectively and ignored her noise of protest. Amy smirked.

“Who are you?” The man answered back, so much sass in his tone Amy couldn’t stop her smirk from growing wider.

“I asked you first big ears,” Donna retorted, hands on his hips. The man behind him sniggered, earning a glare from the man in leather.

“Oh, big ears,” the man said sarcastically, gesturing wildly around him, “Haven’t heard that one before, your wit astounds me.” Donna snorted.

“Tell me,” Donna said, gesturing to the man’s ears, “can you fly with those things?” This time Rose giggled from behind Donna, trying hard to muffle the sound.

The man opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the man behind him in the trench coat.

“As much as I’m enjoying this,” he said, stepping forward and taking Donna’s hand, “We don’t have time for a sass off,” he brought Donna’s knuckles to his lips, “Jack Harkness,” he said smoothly with a handsome grin.

“Oh stop it,” the other man said, exasperated. Donna grinned at him, ignoring the other man’s annoyed glare.

“Donna Noble,” she responded.

“That is a very lovely name, Donna Noble,” Jack said, wrinkling his nose a bit and staring down at her wrist before releasing her hand, “A bit out of the ordinary for Pompeii…” he trailed off, staring at her other arm as if he was looking for something.

“Doctor…” He said, voice tinged with worry. Amy glanced around then, looking for the man who she saw moments ago with the water pistol, but he wasn’t there.

“I know, Jack,” the man in leather responded, gazing at Donna with a neutral expression on his face. Amy’s eyes widened in realization just as her cell phone buzzed loudly against her hip.

to be continued

Secret Oblivion: Chapter 9 (I never liked long stories…I say, having written 8 novels)

Secret Oblivion

-Chapter Nine-

Disclaimer: I own not Harry Potter, but own I do the OC: Hannah Pettigrew. My friend owns the OC that will come along later. (OC used with permission)

Summary: When Hannah becomes a death eater she peers into her future to see what will become of her life. When she sees Sirius become hurt, she vows to never let that happen, but will she remember the images in time to save everyone? SB/OC SS/OC JP/LP

A/N: Time to try and fix a few things. I never intended her to go back to Sirius, so time to have a little fun.

– 0 –

“Your Eyes Open”

Hannah sighed, she had no intention of actually meeting Sirius, and she suspected it to be a trick, so she went back to Snape. She knocked on the door gently and Snape opened it.

“Hannah,” Snape said. He seemed a little surprised. She hugged him, and he invited her into the house.

“Sirius called me…” She said softly. Snape looked at her, expecting more of the story.

“And?” He asked pushing her on.

“He wanted…um to meet me he said he was sorry, but I don’t believe it Snape…” Snape gave her a reassuring smile and put his hand on her shoulder.

“So you came back here? Why?”

“I don’t believe him, I think it’s a trick…I don’t need that right now.”

“Why do you think it’s a trick?”

“He saw my mark Snape, I told you that!” Snape drew back from her.

“Hannah! Hannah no need to get angry…” Hannah let out a long drawn out sigh and stared at him. He could tell she was about to cry. He could see the tears shimmering on the brim of her eye it was like a dam was about to break on a defenseless city. His similes scared him.

“I’m not angry,” She said pathetically. The tears broke the dam and fell from her eyes. She shook with anger and Snape was afraid to touch her. He stood motionless as she tried in every attempt to stop her tears from falling. Snape didn’t dare utter a word; she had to settle this for herself. Her breathing got sharper, but he didn’t bother asking her if she was okay.

After awhile she stared up at Snape, tears were still falling, but hate had formed in her eyes. It was an unforgivable hate. She still shook with anger; it was magnifying the effect. He took an involuntary step back and gulped. He didn’t understand why he had to be afraid of her.

You don’t have to be afraid of her Snape,” His mind shot back at him. Oh yes he did. He wasn’t as strong as she was. Wait? Why did he think this? He had never gone up against Hannah in hand to hand combat! How did he know if she was stronger or if he was? Maybe she just was stronger than he was. Maybe there was never a doubt in his mind.

His mind started screaming at him to draw his wand, but he couldn’t, not on Hannah. She was his friend when no one else was. She made him smile when he was depressed. Needless to say, she had been his angel countless times.

“Hannah…” He spoke softly. She stared at him; the hatred was still present in her eyes. “Open your eyes Hannah…”

– 0 –

Sirius took a seat and looked out for Hannah for what seemed like decades. She wasn’t coming he was sure of it. Somehow he regretted calling. He didn’t want to have anything to do with a Death eater. Maybe he had been hard on her about that, but he had to be didn’t he? She had started following he-who-must-not-be-named. That was unforgivable wasn’t it?

“So, Mr. Black,” The bartender said. He sighed without looking up. He waved his hand, the bartender smiled. “You sure Mr. Black?”

“Yes, I’m sure. The regular is fine now just do your job.”

“Jeez, Mr. Black, you don’t have tah be so rude!” Sirius only rolled his eyes and went back to what he was doing.

Soon someone sat across from him; he looked up to see some random woman. She smiled at him. Her lips were painted a brilliant red and she was wearing some revealing clothing. Sirius raised his eyebrow and a laugh tickled his throat.

“The town whore I presume?” He asked curtly. She narrowed her eyes at him, but she still didn’t leave.

“I am not the town whore,” she protested weakly. Sirius rolled his eyes and tried to wave her off. She didn’t leave.

“Go, I’m waiting for someone!” He waved his hand seriously and she laughed, leaning across the table and placing her head in her hands.

“You’ve been waitin’ for her all night Mr. Black.”

“My, my, aren’t we little miss observant?” The woman rolled her eyes, but still stayed in the same position. Anyone who wasn’t Sirius could see she was trying to get him to look down her shirt. Sirius wasn’t interested. The woman raised her eyebrow and sighed.

“I guess so,” she said dully, drawing back off the table and sitting up straight in the chair. She stood and left, going back to the bar. Sirius was relieved to see her go. She was very bothersome. He tapped his fingers impatiently on the table, and the bartender brought him his drink. He sighed heavily, took a few sips then flung the money on the table and left. He couldn’t stand being there without Hannah. She had always made him laugh, since there first year at Hogwarts. Now everything just seemed so far away, they seemed worlds apart.

He laughed remembering one of their best times at Hogwarts…

It had been around Christmas time and neither him nor Hannah were going home that year. Since they were in different houses they usually had to sneak out to see each other. One night, Sirius took James, who has also stayed for the long break, and his invisibility cloak to see Hannah.

Why don’t you just tell her you like her?” James whispered harshly into Sirius’ ear.

Hannah is my friend,” Sirius protested firmly. James sighed and has been about to say more before they tripped on something.

Watch yourselves boys,” Hannah had told them with a smart wink. They both only laughed and took of the cloak. That night they had talked for hours on end about nothing in particular, but after James had fallen asleep in the grass on the grounds Hannah and Sirius had gotten closer to beat the cold. It was the first time he had slept next to her like that, and it was also the first time he kissed her.

He shook the memories from his head, got up and left. He sighed; he kept walking farther and farther into the wizarding world. Until he stood on a bridge and he looked out over the water. He sighed at its calmness and tried to shake Hannah’s face out of his mind. He couldn’t take this!

Soft drizzle started to fall from the sky, Sirius didn’t move at all. He liked the rain for the most part. He was kind of glad it wasn’t worse…yet. He sighed shaking his head again. He turned his face up to the sky as the rain started to fall harder. He smiled widely and laughed. Memories filled his mind again and he did nothing to stop them. Not like he could stop them anyway.

– 0 –

Snape put his hand on Hannah’s shoulder, but she shook it off and glared at him.

“Now, now Hannah…just listen…open your eyes.” She growled at him hatefully and made a move for her wand, he drew his and was about to shout something when Hannah stupefied him.

“Get used to feeling defenseless Snape,” Hannah said in a voice that was not her own. He let out a gasp. She had been taken over, but by whom? He watched her run off, thrusting her wand in her pocket. He silently prayed for the spell to wear off of him.

– 0 –

Well it’s a lonely road that you have chosen

Morning comes and you don’t want to know me anymore

And it’s a long time since your heart was frozen

Morning comes and you don’t want to know me anymore

For a moment your eyes open and you know

All the things I ever wanted you to know

I don’t know you, and I don’t want to

Till the moment your eyes open and you know

That it’s a lonely place that you have run to

Morning comes and you don’t want to know me anymore

And it’s a lonely end that you will come to

Morning comes and you don’t want to know me anymore

For a moment your eyes open and you know

All the things I ever wanted you to know

I don’t know you, and I don’t want to

Till the moment your eyes open and you know

For a moment your eyes open and you know

All the things I ever wanted you to know

I don’t know you, and I don’t want to

Till the moment your eyes open and you know

-Keane-Your eyes open—

– 0 –

A/N: Well that’s another lovely chapter! Look it’s Keane ohhhhh I love them. Next chapter will most likely be done to Watashi Wa then that will End secret oblivion awesome riiight? Good cause it’s just the first book. This is a story for a friend soo yeah . I never liked long stories. I never have time to write them . Meep! Anyway I have other things to do.

2019 Des talking now: This concludes Secret Oblivion. It was abandoned after this probably because of my short attention span. Or the fact that it was terrible and old me never edited ANYTHING. I dunno. There’s no outline so I literally don’t even know where this was supposed to go.

This should be fun

I took this from my old Live Journal.

Meme Rules:
1. Open Notepad
2. Go to fanfiction [dot] net
3. Go to a category
4. Write down all the things you have seen/read in the category
5. Repeat 3 and 4 until you have written down all the things you’ve seen for every category.

Absolute Boyfriend
Air Gear
Alice 19th
Angel Sanctuary
Angelic Layer
Astro Boy

Avatar: Last Airbender & The Legend of Korra
Asumanga Daioh
Ayashi no Ceres
Beauty Pop
Big O
Blue Gender
Blue Seed
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo

Bubblegum Crisis
Captain Tsubasa
Card Captor Sakura
Castle in the Sky

Code Lyoko
Cowboy Bebop
Crescent Moon
Death Note
Demashitaa! Powerpuff Girls Z
Demon Diary
Detective Conan/Case Closed

Detective School Q
Di Gi Charat
Dragon Ball
Dragon Ball Z
Dragon Ball GT
Eetie Queerie

Final Fantasy: Unlimited
Fruits Basket
Fullmetal Alchemist
Furi Kuri: FLCL
Fushigi Yuugi
Fushigi Yuugi: Genbu Kaiden
Ghost in the Shell
Gundam Seed
Gundam Wing
HiHi Puffy Ami Yumi

His and Her Cirsumstances
Hot Gimmick
Howl’s Moving Castle

Kamichama Karin
Kill Me Kiss Me
Legal Drug
Love Hina
Marmalade Boy

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
Oh My Goddess
One Piece
Ouran High School Host Club
Outlaw Star
Paradise Kiss

Paranoia Agent
Peacemaker Kurogame
Peach Girl

Pita Ten
Please Teacher!
Prince of Tennis
Princess Ai
Princess Mononoke

Princess Princess
Psychic Academy
Rave Master
Read or Die
Sailor Moon

Sakura Wars
Skip Beat!

Someday’s Dreamers
Spirited Away
Tokyo Babylon
Tokyo Mew Mew

Tsubasa Chronicle
Tuxedo Gin
Vampire Hunter D
Vampire Princess Miyu
Violinist of Hameln
W Juliet
Vampire Knight
Witch Hunter Robin
Wolf’s Rain
Yu Yu Hakusho
Yu-Gi-Oh GX
Zatch Bell


Alice in Wonderland
Baby Sitters Club

Edgar Allen Poe
Ella Enchanted
Gossip Girl

Hardy Boys
Nancy Drew
Harry Potter
Jane Eyre
Last Unicorn
Into the Land of Unicorns
Left Behind
Little Women
Lord of the Flies

Nightmare Room
Peter Pan
Princess Diaries

Princess and the Goblin
Saddle Club
Sarah Dessen
Sherlock Holmes
To Kill a Mockingbird
Truth About Forever
Tuck Everlasting

New Moon

Unicorn Chronicles

Aeon Flux
Alvin and the Chipmunks

American Dad
American Dragon: Jake Long

Angry Beavers
Aqua Teen Hunder Force
As Told By Ginger
Atomic Betty
Batman Beyond

Batman the Animated Series
Batman/Superman Adventures
Beavis and Butt-Head

Ben 10
Big Bad Beetleborgs Metallix
Blue’s Clues
Brace Face
Butt Ugly Martians
Buzz Lightyear of Star Command
Captain Planet
Care Bears
Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers
Class of 3000
Classic Jonny Quest

Codename: Kids Next Door
Courage: The Cowardly Dog
Danny Phantom

DarkWing Duck
Dexter’s Laboratory

Dragon Tales
Ed, Edd, n Eddy
El Tigre
Emperors New Groove

Fairly Odd Parents
Family Guy

Finding Nemo

Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends
G. I. Joe

Galaxy Rangers
Ghost Busters (Real/Extreme)
Godzilla: The Series
Grim and Evil

Happy Tree Friends
Hey Arnold
Home Movies
Homestar Runner
Inspector Gadget
Invader Zim
Jackie Chan Adventures
Jimmy Neutron
Johnny Test

Jane and the Dragon
Josie and the Pussycats
Justice League
Kappa Mikey
Kim Possible
King Of The Hill
Krypto the Super Dog
Land Before Time
Life and Time of Juniper Lee
Lilo & Stitch
Looney Tunes
Magic School Bus
Matin Mystery

Max Steel
Megas XLR
Mighty Ducks
Misc. Cartoons

Mucha Lucha

Mummies Alive!
My Gym Partner’s a Monkey
My Life as a Teenage Robot
My Little Pony
Ninja Turtles
Pinky and the Brain
Powerpuff Girls

Real Adventures of Jonny Quest
Robot Boy
Rocket Power
Rocky and Bullwinkle
Samurai Jack
Scooby Doo
Sesame Street
Sheep In The Big City
Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century
Sky Dancers

South Park
Space Ghost

SpongeBob SquarePants
Static Shock
Storm Hawks
Super Robot Monkey Team
Tale Spin

Teen Titans
Time Squad
Tiny Toon Adventures
Totally Spies
Transformers/Beast Wars
Treasure Planet
Venture Brothers
Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego
Wild Thornberries
Winx Club

x-Men: Evolution
Xiolin Showdown

Yin Yang Yo

Calvin & Hobbes
Captain America

Marvel (More than DC)

Teen Titans
Ultimate Marvel

Final Fantasy (7-10-2, 12)
Kingdom Hearts (I and II)


Tony Hawk Pro-Skater
Bomber Man
Old 70s Games

Jesus Christ Superstar
Joseph and the Coat of Something
We Will Rock You

10 Things I hate About You
13 Ghosts
A Bugs Life
A Cinderella Story
A Knight’s Tale
A Little Princess
Nightmare on Elm Street
A Walk to Remember
Across the Universe
Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl
American Pie
Austin Powers
Back to the Future
Beauty and the Beast
Bend it Like Beckham
Blair With Project
Blues Brothers
Bourne Identity
Beautiful Girls
Breakfast Club
Bride and Prejudice
Bring it On
Brothers Grim
Butterfly Effect
Cast Away
Charlie’s Angels: The Movie
Cheaper By The Dozen
Cheetah Girls
Chicken Little
Chicken Run
Child’s Play
Children of the Corn
Constant Gardener
Corpse Bride
Coyote Ugly
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Dawn of the Dead
Day After Tomorrow
Dead Man on Campus
Die Hard
Dirty Dancing
Divine Secret of the Yaya Sisterhood
Donnie Darko
Edward Scissorhands
Ever After
Fantastic 4
Final Destination
Final Fantasy: Spirits Within
Finding Neverland
Ghost Ship
Gone With The Wind
High School Musical
Hills Have Eyes
Homeward Bound
Honey I Shrunk the Kids
House of Wax
House on Haunted Hill
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Ice Age
Indiana Jones
James Bond
Jeepers Creepers
Johnny Kapahala
Joseph: Kind of Dreams
Jump In!
Jurassic Park
Just Like Heaven
Just My Luck
Kate and Leopold
Kill Bill
King Arthur
King Kong
Kingdom of Heaven
Lake House
Last Unicorn
Last Samurai
Lion King
Little Giants
Little Mermaid
Longest Yard
Lords of Dogtown
Love Actually
Mary Poppins
Mean Girls
Meet the Robinsons

Men In Black
Mighty Ducks
Minority Report
Misc. Movies
Miss Congeniality
Monsters Inc.
Monty Python
Moulin Rouge
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
National Treasure
Neverending Story
Never Been Kissed
Nightmare Before Christmas
Ocean’s 11
Ocean’s 12
Osmosis Jones
Over the Hedge
Panic Room
Peal Harbor
Pirates of the Caribbean
Planet of the Apes
Prince of Egypt
Princess Bride
Princess Diaries
Raise Your Voice

Remember the Titans
Rocky Horror
Rush Hour
Save The Last Dance
Saving Private Ryan
School Of Rock
Secret Window
Shanghai Noon
Shark Tale
Shaun of the Dead
She’s the Man
Silence of the Lambs
Sixteen Candles
Sixth Sense
Sky High
Sound of Music
Spy Kids
Star Wars
Step Up
Sweet Home Alabama
Teen Wolf
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Thing
Titan A.E
Toy Story
Treasure Planet
Van Hellsing
What A Girl Wants
Wild Wild West
Wizard of Oz
X-Men: The Movie (ALL)
You’ve Got Mail
Yours, Mine, and Ours

10th Kingdom
3rd Rock From The Sun
7th Heaven
8 Simple Rules
Ally McBeal
Amanda Show
Andy Griffith Show
Are You Araid of the Dark
Army Wives
Bear In The Big Blue House
Beauty and the Beast
Big Wolf on Campus
Bill Nye The Science Guy!
Boy Meets World
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
CSI: Miami
CSI: New York
Caitlin’s Way
Charlie’s Angels
Clarissa Explains It All
Close to Home
Cold Case
Cory in the House

Cosby Show
Crossing Jordan
Dark Angel
Dawson’s Creek
Desperate Housewives
Dharma & Greg
Diagnosis Murder
Diff’rent Strokes
Doctor Who
Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman
Drake & Josh
Drew Carey Show
Dukes of Hazzard
Everybody Loves Raymond
Family Matters
Famous Jett Jackson
Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Friday Night Lights (like one)
Full House
Ghost Whisperer
Gilmore Girls

Good Times
Grey’s Anatomy
Grounded For Life
Growing Pains
Hannah Montana
Happy Days
Home Improvement
House, M.D.
I Dream of Jeannie
I Love Lucy
Incredible Hulk
Invisible Man
Joan of Arcadia
Judging Amy
Kenan & Kel
Kyle XY
Law and Order: SVU

Life With Derek
Lizzie McGuire
Malcolm in the Middle
McLeods Daughters
Misc. TV Shows (H2O KTHX)
Mission: Impossible
Murder She Wrote
My Name is Earl
My So Called Life
Nash Bridges
Naturally, Sadie
Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide
One Tree Hill
Phil Of The Future
Power Rangers
Radio Free Roscoe
Read it and Weep
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Saved By The Bell
Sex and the City
Sister, Sister
South of Nowhere
StarTrek (something…)
Suite Life of Zach and Cody
TV Commercials (WTF?)

That 70’s Show
That’s So Raven

Three’s Company
Tin Man
Touched by an Angel
Tru Calling
Twilight Zone
Ugly Betty
Walker, Texas Ranger
War of the Worlds
Weird Science
West Wing
What I Like About You
Wildfire (just finished it)

Will and Grace
Without a Trace
Wizards of Waverly Place
(I would like to point out that Will and Grace, Without a Trace, and Waverly Place all rhyme. Funny, huh?)
Xena: Warrior Princess
Young Hercules
Zack Files
Zoey 101

MCU Re-watch: The Incredible Hulk

I’m re-watching the entirety of the MCU, these are my live tweets.

Today’s live tweeting is dedicated to Lisa Stapleton! Happy birthday, you giant nerd!


Let the games begin!

Do all the MCU movies have Universal before the Marvel Studios logo? I don’t remember that from Iron Man


Or is Hulk like Spider-Man? Who is owned by Sony and being borrowed by Marvel?

Fixed it.

This opening sequence is really weird. Hulk is smashing everything and Liv Tyler is in a hospital bed and there are memories and Liv Tyler’s dad is telling him to get out and I’m really just wondering wtf is going on.

This movie is already very different from Iron Man. It’s kind of hard to imagine it was ever considered something MCU-ish with how strange it feels. It’s not something I’ve grown accustomed to. It’s very 90s.

He’s just talking to his dog. And now watching TV. And reading the dictionary. Now he and his fighting teacher are breathing and I’m just like what the fuck. And then he started slapping him. Real cool stuff is happening y’all.

From world renowned scientist to janitor. Good job there, Bruce. (Not being sarcastic, I’m pretty sure janitors get paid more than scientists so this is probably a step up)


Boss: 5 months you’ve been helping me out like this. You’re too smart for day labor. Let me put you on payroll.
Banner: *cuts his hand*
Terrible CGI: This is what blood looks like, right?

His blood fell into the pop y’all. He’s working in a drink factory. Lol he just supergued his finger closed.



Gorgeous woman: Help me Ed Norton, you’re my only hope.
Me: Hulk time?


You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry. Loving this. Great job. A+.

Now he’s making some kind of flower paste or whatever. Looks super fun. Very visually stimulating. And by that I mean I’m bored as shit right now. Where is Mark Ruffalo.

Bruce Banner. Making the Hulk Virus worse, one flower at a time.

Why do people never fill out customs forms in movies? Like you can’t just send stuff to another country without that form, my dude.

STAN LEEEE. He literally just opened a fridge and started looking in it. It was so random! OH DUDE. HE GOT KILLED BY HULK’S BLOOD (I think). HOT DAMN.

He alerted the army to his whereabouts with his blood accident. And now they’re commin to get his ass.

I hope they didn’t kill that dog cause I’m gonna be super mad about it.

AHAHAHA HE LEFT A PILLOW IN HIS BED AND THEY TRANKED THAT. Then he ends up in gorgeous girl’s apartment. Can this be a movie about her instead?

Wow Banner. They found him hella easily. He’s so bad at being inconspicuous.


Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner can’t fight like this. Continuity error.

He’s about to get angry and these dudes are like fuck you Bruce Banner.

Hello Hulk.

It ain’t easy being green.

Me, watching these dudes get fucked up: I don’t know what y’all expected. He’s the Hulk.

Solider: If Banner knows what it is, I’m gonna track him down and put my foot on his throat and…
Me/Captain: That was Banner




It’s really hard to make this funny when huge stretches of this movie are just silence and running around. Like I’m really upset about how boring this is.

Oh look. There’s Liv Tyler. Cool. Maybe something will actually start happening.

Nope. He’s just awkwardly staring at her and watching her walk off with some random guy holding hands.

I dunno why he’s sad. I don’t know what he expected. For her to not move on after he nearly killed her?

Her new boyfriend is a head shrink according to this super old guy who owns a pizza place. One of the best head shrinks? Idk.

Now Banner is delivering pizzas. Secret agent maaaan. Secret AGENT MAAAAN. Gonna give you a free medium pizza in exchange for entering a lab.

Hello Mr. Harrington from Spider-Man: Homecoming:

Lmao Norton 360 came up when he logged in and I’m like yeah. Sounds about right.

Frfr. I wanna know who Mr. Blue is. Cause I want it to be Tony Stark because that would be cute, but he would never be Blue *crying*


They meet on a bridge in the rain. Also why the fuck is she whispering? Like she’s just whispering really loudly instead of talking for her line delivery and I just. Can we not whisper in super hero movies 2k19?

I actually groaned out loud for this delivery. Come ON, y’all.

At least she got the data he needed.

Y’all I am 45 minutes in and this has been a huge mistake so far.

Found out who Mr. Blue is and I immediately hate him.


I should’ve just watched Iron Man 2. At least Pepper doesn’t go around whispering all the time.

Oh no. I think I hurt her feelings. No. Wait. She’s just pining over Bruce who is sleeping in the other room. Fucking b o r i n g.

Sad music: *plays*
Bruce & Liv Tyler: *pining*
Me: *sighs heavily*


Another chase scene. Just what I wanted.

Lmao he just swallowed a thumb drive. Good job Dr. Banner.

Oops. The Captain is actually a General. And he’s Liv Tyler’s father. I’m totally shocked. See: No I’m not.

General: *looks at hulk* Now she’ll see
Me: Dude.
Liv Tyler: oh no he’s hot.

Tag yourself: I’m the people filming on their camera phones.


Liv Tyler: *finally yelling* YOU’RE KILLING HIM. STOP!!!
Me: No, go on. Where’s Mark Ruffalo?

I love how they just keep trying to shoot him like that’s gonna do anything. Seriously.

He just kicked Blonski into a tree lmao.

Liv Tyler is lookin at him. And she just whispers his name.
And he protects her from getting hit by a helicopter.
Twas beauty who tamed the beast.

He makes his hulk face and I’m vastly underwhelmed.


Head shrink: He protected her. You almost killed her.
General: Blah blah blah terrible excuse.
Head shrink: You know. It’s a point of professional pride with me that I can always tell when someone’s lying. And you are.
Me: Who fucking wrote this.

Head Shrink: I used to wonder why she never talked about you. Now I know!
General: *pause* where does she meet these guys?

Where is Mark Ruffalo 2K19:

He just threw a rock at the sky. It’s lightning you dumb green fuck.

There’s still like 50 minutes left and I’m just like lmao nevermind we done. But I promised I’d watch this and that’s what I’m gonna do.

Right after I go get sushi from a restaurant down the street.

She got what she wanted all those nights ago where they were pining. Lmao hulk is little spoon.

Tbh? AWH. Can you imagine Banner being little spoon with Natasha? That’s so fucking cute.

Natasha is big spoon 2k19.


LMAO. She got him purple stretchy pants. SO ICONIC. But he won’t wear them. I’m real sad about it.


They try to have sex and his heart rate is just like “Yo waddap” so he can’t have sex cause of his roid rage or some shit. They warned y’all. Steroids cause impotence. And you didn’t listen. When will you learn? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES.

They’re selling necklaces now. Cause they only have $40.


I was wrong about Mr. Blue.

Who TF is Samuel Sterns 2k8.

Banner: I don’t want to control it. I want to get rid of it.
Me, living in the future: WELL HONEY. YOU GOT A BIG STORM COMIN’.

They’re on a boat now. Headed toward Manhattan.



Lmao. Liv Tyler yells at and kicks the cab and Ed Banner is like “Lmao.”

Hello Sterns. Lmao unassuming man shaking my hand.

Sterns: Kill him? YEAH. I should say so.
Who TF is this actor.

They’re about to shock him or something. They did it. And now he’s transforming. Haha science.

Kicking things in the lab and yelling. Haha science x2.

I sped up the play back because the amount of long ass pauses where nothing happens is too fucking much and I’m really mad about it.

Sterns: None of our test subjects ever survived
Me: Wait…what?

Blonski just tossed Liv Tyler into a damn wall.

Liv: I will never forgive what you’ve done to him. Don’t ever speak to me as your daughter again.
Me: Oh shit.

Sterns, to Blonski: Looks like you got a little something in you already, don’t you?


Well, now Abomination is outchea and we’ve got all these damn hulks runnin around and shit. Good job Sterns.


They finally wise up and stop using regular bullets once it’s not the hulk and I’m like y’all are fuckin dumb.

TWO KISSES IN ONE MOVIE? WOW. Is this before Disney owned it? Cause Disney doesn’t like kissing.

Banner: *kisses Liv Tyler and jumps out of the airplane*
Banner: *falling and waiting for The Hulk*
Hulk: *doesn’t come*
Banner: OH SHIT

Hulk, shows up late with Starbucks:

Clash of the titans: (This still is so perfect lmao. Look at those matchbox cars.)

What I don’t get is why they’re trying to make their own super solider serum when they already have it. Like didn’t Howard Stark already make this? #CaptainAmerica

General: Help the green one!

Abomination: You don’t deserve this power
Hulk: *kicks his ass*
Helicopter: *explodes*
Me: Wow.

Abomination is kicking Hulk’s ass now. NBD.

Abomination: Any last words?

Bruce Banner has incredible penmanship. That’s hot yo.

Tony Stark: *walks in*


Stark: I hear you have an unusual problem
General, terrible acting: YOU SHOULD TELK
RDJ, doesn’t even break character, staring him down like a pro: You should listen.

Stark: What if I told you we were putting a team together?
General: Who is we?



Also what happened to Banner’s dog?

Y’all there was no after credits scene this is fucking sacrilege.

Give me more Tony Stark 2k19.

That concludes my live tweet thread for The Incredible Hulk! You can read them on Twitter here.

You can see my Iron Man live tweets on twitter, here. And you can read my Iron Man LTs on my blog here.

Thank you guys so much for all your support! And if you really really like my MCU live tweet series, please think about supporting me on Patreon, Ko-Fi, or sending me a donation via paypal.

I’ve been unemployed for a few months and my savings are running out. So every day is a struggle. Any little bit helps.

Artists Need to be Discouraged

I believe artists need to be discouraged.  As someone who is a writer and has written several books, and has a huge passion for my craft, I think that’s the only way of creating worthwhile (not dime-a-dozen) artists.

That sounds absurd and wrong and it probably doesn’t work because trust me when I say I almost stopped writing altogether. But, I was one of those artists that did something more “practical”.  I got a degree in marketing and did things like computer science and learned languages. 

And you know what?  It made me better.  Doing this made me a better person, a better writer, someone capable of understanding what’s marketable and what isn’t.  Doing something “more practical” isn’t the death of art.  Often times, going to school for art becomes the death of your creativity.  I almost didn’t recover from my short time as an English major.

Because, if you think the people who say to do something “more practical” are the cruel ones, that’s nothing compared to hardened professors and hundreds of students that would see you fail so that they can succeed.  

Now, I’m not saying telling someone they’re never going to be an artist because they’re terrible and they’ll never amount to anything is okay.  I’m saying that, telling them to consider something more practical as a career could give them a different perspective.  

So if I tell people to consider something “more practical”, I’m literally telling them that it’s okay to have a passion for art and not major in your chosen craft..  It’s okay to choose something else instead of settling on what you think would make you the best.  Be true to yourself.  Choose art, or don’t.  Just, never stop creating.

After all, art will always find a way to survive.  Even in the face of ignorance and adversity.  It’s unstoppable.