i can’t keep a secret

I don’t want to miss you
I’m so angry I feel heavy
overcome by so many emotions
I don’t know where to start.

I don’t want to miss you
I’ll start there, it’s self-explanatory
but, don’t you want to know my reason?

If I don’t miss you
you can’t hurt me
you can’t make me feel this way
if I don’t miss you then I don’t
love you.

But let’s get real here,
do love you
and I do miss you 
so how do I make the pain stop?

That’s the second thing on the agenda
how do I make the pain stop
The answer?  I don’t
because I’m not telling you
won’t tell you.

You tell me I can’t keep a secret
if only you knew the secrets I’ve been keeping
from you, from your family, from my friends
let’s dish, shall we?

I am full of so much anger, hate, bitterness
because I fell in love with you
I am so angry that I had to
fall in love with someone who is so
stupid that he’d cast me aside
like a rag doll.

I hate this emotion so much
love?  love?  LOVE?
They tell you it’s magic
that it’s beautiful, 
but all it is is PAIN
wrapped up in golden paper
and coated in chocolate.

You want to know all the things I keep from you?
I love you I’m in love with you you’re my
everything and I’m scared
I waited for so long to be in love, but now?
now I wish I’d never felt anything like this.
I wish I’d never met you.
I HATE THIS.

I’m so angry that I can’t feel anything but
pain, bitterness, resentment and I can’t
STOP CRYING.  I HATE YOU.  I HATE YOU.  
I HATE YOU.

but isn’t it funny?  that i don’t hate you at all?

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